6 Tips for Avoiding Arguments When Talking Politics

By Anne-Marie Botek, AgingCare.com Editor

Politics is one of the untouchable topics that many people are taught to steer clear of in day-to-day conversations.

Indeed, the discomfort of opening Pandora’s little box of politics is so great that 83 percent of people avoid talking about political issues, according to Kerry Patterson, interpersonal communication expert and co-author of, “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.”

Patterson says few feel they can control their temper when discussing politics, and most have bad experiences when they share their opinions on the government.

It’s not surprising that most people chose to remain mum on the subject.

“Politics and religion are two things that are based on preferences—on a person’s sense of right and wrong. That’s why these discussions become so problematic—we’re having them in the clouds,” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., relationship expert and author of, “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship Without Blowing Up or Giving In.”

Keeping conversations civil

Every four years, our country becomes embroiled in a multitude of back and forth political debates that inflame the hearts and minds of Americans everywhere.

The deep philosophical divides that exist between Republicans and Democrats have never been more palpable than they are in the run up to the current election. It seems like every issue, from the environment to the economy, is being fiercely debated as President Obama and Governor Romney continue their quests to secure the Oval Office seat.

That doesn’t mean that political topics need to be taboo. Even if you disagree with the views of your conversational partner, there’s no reason that a political discussion can’t be thoughtful and illuminating for both of you.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

EJ S.

4:57AM PDT on Sep 22, 2012

Here's an update: the 85% stat (presumably self-reported) may not be accurate. In a coffee shop where I'm a regular, there's another regular -- a nice guy -- nicknamed "the Senator" for his big voice and tireless repeating of Fox and Limbaugh memes.

Recently, just as my lunch arrived, he started warming up to discuss the President and the Democratic convention. Without thinking, I spoke up: "Oh, please could we skip the politics? People are eating."

He was thunderstruck, first because nobody ever interrupts him (it's hard to do). Then he muttered to himself, "This isn't politics" -- and then you could see him processing what he was saying. He remained silent for about 15 minutes, then started chatting about normal stuff.

But he was visibly startled to realize that a second-hand torrent of bile about the President and his campaign was in fact politics. I found it instructive, because it seemed to offer an insight on why some people seem so quick to dump their politics in the laps of everyone they meet these days -- maybe when your TV and radio spew a non-stop stream of political propaganda disguised as "news" at you, you really do lose sight of the fact that it's politics.

And of course that would mean that if somebody asked you if you talk politics, you'd answer, "No."

September 22
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Lika S.

11:44PM PDT on Sep 6, 2012

I try to talk civilly. Those who disagree will interrupt me, state how they are right and I am wrong, won't listen, and what have you... When encountering people like that, it's either argue or walk away because they can't handle the disagreement.

September 6
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Emily D.

10:14AM PDT on Sep 5, 2012

I don't get why people never want to talk about the most important issues in our lives! No one wants to talk about politics or religion, yet they both have a huge impact on everything! People will talk about the newest fashion trends and what not all day but refuse to talk about issues that are going to affect the world and future generations forever. The human species is just one big joke if you ask me.

September 5
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AE G.

10:03AM PDT on Sep 5, 2012

Just walk away....

Nicole G.

10:49AM PDT on Sep 4, 2012

My husband is a Republican and I'm a Liberal. I learned long ago that there was no such thing as a non-argumentative political discussion. Facts or no facts, some political issues simply boil down to a core set of beliefs that no amount of "facts" are going to change. Sometimes whether to vote for a candidate or party boils down to one key issue.

September 4
send a green star

Sue T.

9:45PM PDT on Sep 3, 2012

Stop Obama.

September 3
send a green star

Ken W.

8:46PM PDT on Sep 1, 2012

STOP the GOP

September 1
send a green star

JL A.

11:24AM PDT on Sep 1, 2012

good reminders

Mary Beth M.

8:58AM PDT on Sep 1, 2012

Robert O has a good point. We avoid political discussions because they become emotional, are controversial, may cause rifts. Yet, what is more important to our daily lives, our well being and not only our future but our collective future, but the elected officials we choose, vote for, who represent us, decide for us and determine our fate? If this is not an issue worth becoming impassioned about, then I don't know what is?