By Dr. Martha Tara Lee for YourTango.com.
It can be hard to know if the guy you’re with loves you or loves you not. From my own experience and the women I coach, a few things makes it difficult to know if he loves you:
- your definition and experience of love is different from his
- your expectations that love has to be a certain way
- your insecurities get in the way of seeing things clearly
- and his words, behaviors and actions are contradicting, causing you to doubt his feelings for you.
- He Loves Me, Loves Me Not Situations
Like most women, you will meet, date and be in relationships with different types of men. And during the course of your love life, you’ll experience one or all of these situations.
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- Guys you’ve known for a short time will tell you they love you without really knowing who you are. If this happens, don’t believe them. They most likely have an ulterior motive, like trying to have sex with you, and are using those three big words to sway you into bed.
- Guys say they love you but don’t treat you as if they do because they don’t know how to love. They love themselves more than they love you or aren’t capable of love. You will know you’re with this kind of guy because you will doubt and question his love for you.
- Guys who don’t say those three words and don’t treat you well. These guys don’t love you. You should leave this kind of person to be available for a someone who will treat you well.
- Guys who don’t say those three words, yet treat you with love. These guys may actually love you. They may not wear their heart on their sleeves and are more comfortable expressing their love through actions instead of words.
- Guys who say they love you and treat you with love. There is no doubt that they love you. If you date or are in a relationship with this guy, he is a keeper.
So, how can you know if the guy you’re with truly loves you or loves you not? If your guy exhibits these 7 signs, he most likely loves you.
1. He Treats You Well
A guy who loves you is considerate of your feelings, needs and desires. He makes them as important as his desires and needs. He is concerned with your well-being and will do things to make your life better, sometimes going out of his way to do so. Not only does he treat you well, he is also good to your family and friends.
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2. He Is Generous With His Time
He doesn’t let too much time go by without seeing you. When he is available, he wants to be with you and chooses to spend his time with you. If you’re in a long distance relationship, he is spending time with you whenever your schedules allow. And you are together during major holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
3. He Makes You A Priority
You are at the forefront of his mind and he maintains contact in between the times you see each other. He considers you when making decisions and is considerate about doing things you want to do. When speaking, he uses “we” instead of “I”, and includes you in his future plans.
4. He Cares For You
A guy who loves you is genuinely happy for you when good things happen to you. He is compassionate when you’re going through challenges. This guy is there for you in the good and not so good times. He thinks about you and surprises you with tokens of affection outside of your birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day. He will also challenge you by calling you out on stuff to help you become a better person.
5. He Wants People To Know About You
He is affectionate with you in public by holding your hand, putting his arm around you and/or hugging you. He is proud to be with you and has introduced you to his family and friends. He brings you to family functions and get-togethers with friends, and takes you to company events.
6. He Treats Your Relationship With Integrity
He is trustworthy and loyal to you and your relationship. He is upfront with you about his past girlfriends and skeletons in his closet. He does what he says and will let you know if he’s not able to. When issues come up, he is willing to work through them. Although he isn’t perfect, he tries to be a better man.
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7. He Wants The Best For You
A guy who loves you encourages you to do things you love, even if it means doing these things without him. He wants you to spend time with family and friends. He encourages you to find and live your passions, knowing that if you are happy and engaged with life, you’ll be happy and engaged in your relationship with him.
Behaviors and Actions Mean More than Words
Don’t believe a man’s “I love you” if his behaviors and actions aren’t backing up his words. You’ll know if you’re in this situation because you will feel uncertain and question his love for you. Pay attention to this feeling because your intuition is telling you something isn’t right.
Place less weight on his words and more weight on his behaviors and actions. From my experience, a man’s behaviors and actions are more revealing and show if he loves you or not. It’s easier for a man to say, “I love you” because that’s what you want to hear. The true test of whether he loves you is if he exhibits the signs described earlier. When a man loves you, you won’t need to hear the words because you will just know. What other signs show that he loves you?Leave a comment below with your answer!
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This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 7 Undeniable Signs He Loves You.