Like so many others who struggle to find their tribe, I spent much of my life tiptoeing around my desire to find a group of people among whom I could be unconditionally loved and accepted, while staying in alignment with my true nature. Although I had my share of friends, most of them weren’t friends with each other, and I never had that group of people I could call and ask “What are we doing tonight?”
I was always too nerdy for the jocks and cheerleaders, too cool for the nerds, too uncool for the popular kids, too goodie-two-shoes for the stoners, not goodie-two-shoes enough for the church kids, too liberal for the preppies, too conservative for the Deadheads… You get the picture.
I tried to find my tribe, but no matter what I tried, I always felt like the odd duck swimming with swans, who all seemed to enjoy a sense of belonging I never quite felt.
Then my spiritual counselor pointed out that my ego had created this separation story that distanced me from the very belonging I craved. (You can read the nitty gritty details about my separation story here.) Since gulping down the uncomfortable truth of this guidance, everything started to shift for me, and finally, I am finding my tribe.
Among these beautiful people who love and accept me just as I am, I find myself becoming increasingly brave. I show them parts of myself I’ve previously hidden, and not only are they not rejecting me – they’re telling me they love me even more because I’m willing to be imperfect amidst so much pressure to be perfect. My confessions of imperfection come with an added bonus. When I’m brave enough to show people my big ugly tail, they tend to do the same. And as Brene Brown tells us in her fabulous TEDx talk The Power of Vulnerability, this breeds intimacy and fosters a sense of belonging, which fans the flames of my Inner Pilot Light.
Tips For Attracting Your Tribe
I know I’m not alone in my desire to be part of a tribe, so if you’re jonesing to find yours, let me share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
You’re Officially Invited To Join My Tribe
Blogging and social media have been pure heaven for me, regarding finding my tribe. It’s like the law of attraction in action. I’ve met most of the people in my inner circle on Twitter, Facebook, or the comments section of either my blog or theirs.
But for quite a while now, I’ve been jonesing to gather my tribe together in a new, vibrant way, so we can nurture each other, support each other in our personal and spiritual growth, bounce creative ideas around, offer up the occasional well-intentioned ass-kicking, break into dance parties, network professionally, and see past the masks we all wear with “magical eyes” to witness the Inner Pilot Light within each of us.
Wanna join this tribe of beautiful souls, either live in the San Francisco Bay area or virtually? You can learn more about my new Inner Pilot Light group coaching program here.
Have You Found Your Tribe?
What about you? If you’ve found your people, where did you find them? What tips can you share for those who are still looking? If you haven’t found your tribe yet, tell us what you’re seeking. You never know who might be trolling around the comments on this blog, looking for someone just like you…
With love and gratitude,
Lissa Rankin, MD: Creator of the health and wellness communities LissaRankin.com and OwningPink.com, author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself (Hay House, 2013), TEDx speaker, and Health Care Evolutionary. Join her newsletter list for free guidance on healing yourself, and check her out on Twitter and Facebook.
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