Is one of your New Year’s resolutions to find love? Here are nine easy steps you can take to help you reach your goal.
1. Be ready for it. Are you emotionally open to love? If you’re holding a grudge from your former relationship, either let it go resolve it so you don’t bring those negative feelings into your new relationship.
Think about it, you prepare for everything else in your life — the space in your head shouldn’t be any different. Clean it up and make it presentable for the new year.
2. Know what you want. Are you looking for something casual? Or do you want to get married? Either way, it helps to know what you want. Otherwise, you’ll waste your time dating people who clearly aren’t right for you.
3. Accept imperfection. Some people set their standards so high that they never find anyone who meets them. Then, they wonder why they are alone. Don’t let yourself fall into this age-old trap in 2013.
4. Get out there. Prince charming is not going to come and knocking on your door. Attend events and take classes where there are likely to be men. A sailing class or a coed softball team are good places to start. Your local newspaper usually lists events in your area that are currently going on. Take a peek and try to figure out where some single men might be.
5. Get set up. Ask your girlfriends if they know of anyone who might be right for you. Friends are a great way to meet people because it’s like an automatic screening procedure.
6. Go online. I have heard that one in five relationships starts online. Just be careful and follow your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right about what a person is telling you, it probably isn’t. Meet within three months to see if you’re compatible in person.
I can’t even tell you how many times I hear of men and women corresponding for months online only to find out, when it comes time to meet in person, that they aren’t compatible … or worse, the person lied about his/her identity. Don’t tie your love life up online! Meet in person to see if things work.
7. Be a great date. A first date won’t lead to a second if you’re not a great date. Be interesting, be funny, look your best and leave your negativity at home. Men will find you more attractive if you have a generally pleasant disposition. I know of very few men who enjoy dating a diva.
8. Don’t give up. Just because you haven’t met anyone by March doesn’t mean you won’t mean anyone by June. The only way you won’t meet anyone for sure is if you stop trying.
I wish you much love in 2013!
Written by Christina Steinorth for YourTango.com. Christina Steinorth, MA, MFT is a Licensed Psychotherapist and the Author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.
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