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8 Steps For Finding Love In 2013

8 Steps For Finding Love In 2013

By Christina Steinorth for YourTango.com.

Is one of your New Year’s resolutions to find love? Here are nine easy steps you can take to help you reach your goal.

1. Be ready for it. Are you emotionally open to love? If you’re holding a grudge from your former relationship, either let it go resolve it so you don’t bring those negative feelings into your new relationship.

Think about it, you prepare for everything else in your life — the space in your head shouldn’t be any different. Clean it up and make it presentable for the new year.

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2. Know what you want. Are you looking for something casual? Or do you want to get married? Either way, it helps to know what you want. Otherwise, you’ll waste your time dating people who clearly aren’t right for you.

3. Accept imperfection. Some people set their standards so high that they never find anyone who meets them. Then, they wonder why they are alone. Don’t let yourself fall into this age-old trap in 2013.

4. Get out there. Prince charming is not going to come and knocking on your door. Attend events and take classes where there are likely to be men. A sailing class or a coed softball team are good places to start. Your local newspaper usually lists events in your area that are currently going on. Take a peek and try to figure out where some single men might be.

5. Get set up. Ask your girlfriends if they know of anyone who might be right for you. Friends are a great way to meet people because it’s like an automatic screening procedure.

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6. Go online. I have heard that one in five relationships starts online. Just be careful and follow your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right about what a person is telling you, it probably isn’t. Meet within three months to see if you’re compatible in person.

I can’t even tell you how many times I hear of men and women corresponding for months online only to find out, when it comes time to meet in person, that they aren’t compatible … or worse, the person lied about his/her identity. Don’t tie your love life up online! Meet in person to see if things work.

7. Be a great date. A first date won’t lead to a second if you’re not a great date. Be interesting, be funny, look your best and leave your negativity at home. Men will find you more attractive if you have a generally pleasant disposition. I know of very few men who enjoy dating a diva.

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8. Don’t give up. Just because you haven’t met anyone by March doesn’t mean you won’t mean anyone by June. The only way you won’t meet anyone for sure is if you stop trying.

I wish you much love in 2013!

Christina Steinorth, MA, MFT is a Licensed Psychotherapist and the Author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 8 Steps To Finding New Love In 2013.

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63 comments

+ add your own
4:49PM PDT on May 21, 2013

Thanks

2:17AM PDT on Mar 26, 2013

good advice

2:16PM PST on Feb 18, 2013

Thanks for the tips.

2:55AM PST on Jan 31, 2013

Plus you have to be brave to put yourself out there, especially as you get older, or if you've been in a long-term relationship.

12:40AM PST on Jan 26, 2013

Great advice!

9:15PM PST on Jan 24, 2013

This is cute! All very positive suggestions :) Finding a balance between having standards and accepting imperfections is important to remember though.

4:19AM PST on Jan 14, 2013

No, thanks. I don't want to be beaten and abused!

4:12AM PST on Jan 14, 2013

Which Love is being discussed as we have conditional or unconditional and they are poles apart. I wonder when i see the word love being bandied around without being identified it shows a lack of understanding by the speaker of what love really is and what they know about it
True love is unconditional so the 8 points are irrelevant and misleading, there is only one way to attract true love and that is to change ourselves from the inside of our heart. Learn the 7 laws of the universe of which unconditional love of ourselves is number six and ties the other five together if its lived. So the other five come into action
1. Free will, ie, don't impose your will upon another
2. Cause and effect , well what you think is what you will create for yourself
3.Resonance /attraction so what you put out is what you will attract.
4. Service this is where you show compassion and help others and they dont even know you did it. If they know you did it then is just a business called charity.
5. Forgiveness , what you see in others you don't like is just a reflection of yourself and you need to learn the lesson of why you created this experience and forgive yourself for doing so this is why the ho'oponopo mantra is so powerful when used in forgiving yourself.
6, unconditional love with no attachments to outcome and accepting things as just is and not judge.
7 Transmutation . when you leave this human experience your spiritual being will progress according to how they put the previous 6

3:55PM PST on Jan 11, 2013

thanks

7:17AM PST on Jan 10, 2013

Thanks!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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