8 Ways to Sort Aging Parents’ “Stuff”

By Paula Spencer, Caring.com

“Christmas lights. Do not work.” Three boxes, so labeled and tucked in the basement ceiling joists, were perhaps my favorite find while clearing out my parents’ house. Well, those or the shelf of neat notebooks recording weekly bowling scores back to the 1960s. A dozen casserole lids, no casseroles. Spare stereo knobs, circa 1975. Enough yarn to knit a sweater that could encase the entire house and yard, Christo-style.

I tossed plenty of useless stuff while clearing out my parents’ home of 40-odd years, recently. (100 pairs of elastic-waist pants, anyone?) But I had it relatively easy, because my parents weren’t involved. (My mom had died and my dad, who was relocating, was sidelined by dementia.)

Most caregivers face the “junk wars” with still-living relatives. It can happen when you combine households because of the recession. Or help a parent downsize into assisted living. Or just try to make a crowded old house safer for an older adult in which to age-in-place.

Sorting through the accumulated years can be exasperating. Even a nightmare, if the person is a packrat, under stress, or hopelessly sentimental. (Which doesn’t leave too many people, I know.) Here are eight great tips to get you started:

1. Start yesterday
Just about everybody who’s been through the ordeal–whether they have to “de-junk” in crisis mode or not–wishes they’d begun sooner.

Tip: Appeal to the person’s sense of not wanting to be any “trouble”: “Dad and Mom, it will be a heck of a lot more trouble for me to sort through all this after you’re gone than to sit here and help you get a handle on it now.”

2. Snap it, then dump it
Take pictures of beloved objects before disbursing them. What is really important are the memories, not the stuff. Your parent is apt to have more fun looking at albums (or downloaded images online) than dusting and digging. Likewise, you can scan old documents.

Tip: Perfect summer job for an unemployed teen.

8 Ways to Sort Aging Parents’ “Stuff” originally appeared on Caring.com.

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Read more: Caregiving, Family, Feng Shui & Organizing, Home

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Pat T.

1:55PM PDT on Mar 31, 2010

I love to organize my own space and any other so I have asked if I could help my Mom and she and I just hang out and talk as I hold up each of her things that we enjoy together and save and those she wants to donate to the local charity. It has always been a trip in memory lane,a way to hang out and more area for her that feels spacious and open & we have done it many times.. It helps us breathe better too.
pat

send a green star

Judith C.

3:20PM PDT on Mar 27, 2010

Good ideas for a difficult job.

Past Member .

10:18AM PST on Jan 30, 2010

One needs to be careful though - facing your parents future death - and in turn your own - and it's a very hard topic.

The best those with own kids can do is try to sort of their own stuff before they are too old so that their kids won't have the same problems.

Loretta K.

11:21PM PST on Jan 28, 2010

I am down -sizing my own possessions and that of my husband and it is hard to do. I hope I get it done before we ever had to move.

Pam O.

7:19PM PST on Jan 13, 2010

I am the parent. And I have an only child. I know he would just throw away everything.Without hesitation. I think I have time left, so I'm sorting everything and putting "valuable" things aside, with notes about whether it's valuable, sentimental (in the family for generations,)etc. And what I want to go to his daughter.If he doesn't agree he'd better call GhostBusters.

gerlinde p.

10:46AM PST on Jan 10, 2010

i like the foto idea very much.

Heather R.

4:29PM PST on Dec 21, 2009

Great suggestions and ideas! After watching a show on hoarding, this article was more interesting. Thanks so much!

Claudia L.

12:54PM PST on Dec 19, 2009

the photo idea is always a good one and helps when hesitating over giving away outgrown previously-treasured baby clothes

Gustavo G.

1:07PM PST on Nov 21, 2009