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9 Myths About Soul Mate Relationships

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9 Myths About Soul Mate Relationships

By Kelly Wallace, DivineCaroline

Myth 1: Soul mate relationships should be easy.

Relationships are not always easy. Why is it that we can spend so much time at work each and every day to bring home a paycheck yet we barely give our relationship a second thought? We expect it to run smoothly on its own without any maintenance, without any glitches, and without any problems. How silly is that?

All relationships take time, energy, work, commitment, and determination. If you want a wonderful soul mate relationship then you may need to make some sacrifices in other areas. Perhaps you’ll have to work less overtime, spend more time with your partner, work on communication, plan more things together, and compromise.

Think of a relationship like a garden. By following the suggestions in this book you’ll plant the seeds. Working on yourself and your soul mate-attracting skills is the soil. Once you find your true love you begin watering this garden and are careful to pull up any weeds that sprout. But over time what happens? You get used to being in the relationship and you stop watering it and neglect the weeds. What do you think will happen then? The garden will die. Instead, if you carefully tend to your “love garden” you’ll be rewarded with a relationship that blossoms and grows bigger over time.

Myth 2: Soul mates don’t have conflict.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Any relationship without conflict is a relationship between two dead people. You’re human, he’s human, and you have different personalities, stress factors, and everything else tossed into the mix. How could you not have conflict sometimes? The key is how well you handle this.

I’ve had couples come to me who are certain they’re soul mates and the beginning of their relationship was filled with joy, peace, passion and not a single argument. Then one day something shifts and someone gets ticked off or hurt and conflict makes its first appearance. That doesn’t mean things are doomed, it means you’re normal.

Conflict can be healthy because it forces a couple to look at their differences and understand each other’s perspective. It makes you look inside yourself, to acknowledge and examine your own core values and beliefs, and learn to appreciate that your partner has his own. Consider this a valuable opportunity to communicate and grow stronger as a couple.

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Read more: Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit

Mel, selected from DivineCaroline

At DivineCaroline.com, women come together to learn from experts in the fields, of health, sustainability, and culture; to reflect on shared experiences; and to express themselves by writing and publishing stories about anything that matters to them. Here, real women publish like real pros. Together, with our staff writers, they’re discussing all facets of women’s lives from relationships and careers, to travel and healthy living. So come discover, read, learn, laugh and connect at DivineCaroline.com.

341 comments

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8:43AM PDT on Mar 22, 2012

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4:29PM PST on Feb 12, 2012

So often we don't dissect emotional and other responses to discern what core beliefs we are acting on that may be myths--good thoughts and exercises to help expose some that need addressing for healthy relationships.

12:27PM PST on Feb 12, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

10:07AM PST on Jan 25, 2012

I really have to take exception to # 5. My soul mate "should love me no matter what". No, Our soul mate should not accept just any behavior from us, especially if it is bad behavior, but you describe this woman as "allowing herself to wallow in depression" instead of taking proactive measures. Depression is a complex medical issue. You have no idea what underlying factors may have caused the woman to lose her self esteem. Well, maybe you do if you are a qualified therapist or social worker, but tough love only works on some clientele and can send others into a downward spiral that could lead to hospitalization or suicide.
You have done a huge dis-service to people suffering from depression. That person's soul mate should have been asking a whole lot of questions including, "am I adding to this depression in some way?" and "how can I help?" The woman needed therapy and possibly medication. She does not need to shoulder blame for what she did to cope with her mental situation.
Shame on you.

9:41PM PST on Jan 22, 2012

Thank-you for the interesting article about these myths. I find it also interesting how, many times, things are put with the female gender first, IE:'...you'll make changes once you see him...'. How about, '...a partner will start to change while their partner does as well.' Takes a few more words but remains gender neutral.

12:51PM PST on Jan 20, 2012

Thanks

7:01AM PST on Jan 20, 2012

Thanks for article.

10:59PM PST on Jan 18, 2012

Get latest updates on http://sirfpaisa.com

7:47PM PST on Jan 17, 2012

I had to click the

11:01PM PST on Jan 16, 2012

i think i have a soul mate, but be kind to yourself too

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