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A Mother’s Open Letter to Jerry Sandusky

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A Mother’s Open Letter to Jerry Sandusky

Guest Post by Elisabeth DeLeon

Jerry Sandusky, you are almost without doubt, guilty of sexually abusing children and there is no doubt your reputation is ruined.

However, there is one path you can take that could bring some good into this otherwise devastatingly tragic situation: You should come clean. You should admit your problem. You should apologize to each and every victim. Then, you should use your public notoriety to shine a neon spotlight on this dark, dank secret that many, many men and some women, carry with them like a shadow with claws that not only never, ever goes away, but also pulls in more victims every hour of every day. My daughter, at age 6, was one of those victims.

Why should you, Mr. Sandusky, take this path? Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder listed in the DSM IV manual and it currently has no cure. So once a pedophile, always a pedophile. The millions of people suffering from this disorder need help lifetime help just as a schizophrenic or an alcoholic needs lifetime help and support.

If we decide as a society to ignore the fact that pedophilia is a medical condition and choose only to criminalize it instead, most individuals who understand they have pedophilic tendencies will not seek help and the most glaring problem about pedophilia is that, by definition, the trauma is passed on from one generation to the next in a sordid mix of blood, tears, guilt, shame, blame, anger and sorrow.

When I discovered my 6 year old (and another child) had been victimized by a pre-teen neighbor boy who himself had been victimized by his adopted father, I started researching pedophilia and discovered that many pedophiles were victims in their own childhood. These pedophiles do not go from victim to victimizer in one fell swoop. This transition usually happens in baby steps which means there is time, as in the case of our neighbor boy, for meaningful intervention.

Furthermore, pedophilia is not as rare as most people assume. Pedophiles are everywhere. Yes, everywhere and especially where children gather. Pedophiles are old, young, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, non-professional, professional, heterosexual, homosexual, male, female and of any race. In self-reported studies, up to 62 percent of men from the general (non-criminal) population acknowledge sexual fantasies and attractions to children. Most of these men don’t act upon their attractions. Yet, too many of these men do – and crossing the line from desire to intent is where the danger lies. Psychology Today estimates that a whopping 20 percent of American children have been sexually molested, mostly by men. Another commonly cited statistic is that one in three girls and one in four boys are sexually abused before the age 18!

According to the FBI, over two-thirds of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement are juveniles under the age of 18 with one in seven victims under the age of 6! Unfortunately, it gets worse: More than a third of all sexual assaults involved a victim under the age of 12. Most alarmingly, one in four sexual assault victims who experienced forcible sodomy or assault with an object were 5 years old or younger.

The majority of these crimes were perpetrated by someone the victim knew and trusted.

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56 comments

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3:43PM PDT on Jun 17, 2013

Brave lady.,

7:25AM PDT on Jun 30, 2012

Fabulous letter, well thought out and with great practical, meaningful and doable suggestions. Brava!

11:36AM PDT on Jun 29, 2012

Beautiful.

5:32PM PDT on Jun 28, 2012

Brilliant letter!

4:55PM PDT on Jun 28, 2012

Thank you for writing this letter. I hope that he and other pedophiles take note of the advice and act on it.

2:37PM PDT on Jun 28, 2012

AWESOME LETTER.

6:01AM PST on Dec 5, 2011

Please plead guilty and follow this advice.

3:57PM PST on Nov 27, 2011

Lovely letter. Hope it inspires someone, somewhere to seek the help needed before they hurt an innocent child.

5:31PM PST on Nov 26, 2011

Very good letter...too bad he would never actually do this. I agree that if pedophiles come forward BEFORE they actually commit any crimes against children then they should get help. But I can't agree with those who have engaged in such horrifying acts only getting a few years in jail, if that. As a victim myself and knowing many other child abuse victims, I wholeheartedly believe that there needs to be stiffer penalties for those who prey on children, including but not limited to: life imprisonment with absolutely no chance of parole.

9:43AM PST on Nov 24, 2011

If only he would actually do this.
These statistics are absolutely horrifying. I never realized how lucky I was in my childhood - and I'm still in childhood, kind of. It's just incredible to think that that could've been me, or my brother, or my sister...

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