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Act Compassionately When You Can
I have a friend who is plagued by panhandlers when he walks to work. For a while he ignored them, but it was impossible. After wrestling with his anger and guilt – for he did want to do the right thing – he collected change in his pockets, and no matter who asked him, he gave something. Immediately his anger vanished. And then his eyes opened, he saw that these people really are lost and alone, and it is an act of cruelty for him to withhold the meager amount they want.
It feels remarkable when petty anger can be transformed to so noble a feeling as compassion. Yet in this case it happened in a moment, thanks to a simple shift in perception. The true self doesn’t goad us into being good. It takes our existing impulses and views them in a new light. Insight opens the gates of the heart.
Many times a day each of us feels the impulse, however, faint, of saintliness. Walk down a city street for ten minutes and you see all around you reasons to give, to help, to offer charity and compassion, to forgive, and perhaps even to love.
In each situation, the need to cut oneself off is present, because that has been a long habit, but a fresher impulse also arises. The true self is sending these new signals.
Notice and feel them. Dwell on them instead of pushing them down. Avoid your habit of turning away or being too afraid to act. Act when you can. Appreciate your own goodness and congratulate yourself whenever you move closer, if by an inch, to your true self. That’s the program, and it is a simple one.
The credo of the true self is joy with detachment. The joy comes from no longer having to cling to a small, defended territory. The detachment comes from having such wide awareness that everything is at once yours and not yours.
Adapted from The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2001).
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10 comments
add your comment »Elly Yule, you may be correct about some of the people on the street but until you have been in their situation you have no right to judge why they are there or if they "deserve" a small token. "Judge not lest ye be judged"! Many are there for reasons far beyond their control. Even if they use the money to buy alcohol or drugs, why should that stop you from caring for another human in need. Do you not wonder what happened in their lives that was so horrible that it drove them to the need to numb themselves? Perhaps it's the fact that they feel no one cares for them? I would like to recommend the movie "Conversations with God" to you to help you see that not everyone who is on the streets is a drug or alcohol addict.
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I recommend sending for the 211 card in English on one side, Spanish on the other, and noting any phone numbers of local service agencies that really help the homeless. You can give a little money for bus fare and possibly telephone change and encourage them to contact a service agency that will advocate for them. That way the receive a home and not just a few cents' change!
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A few coins may ease the pain for a few minutes but giving them bus fare and telephone money and a card with the 211 number on it can save a life. I send for the 211 cards - with English on one side and Spanish on the other, the toll free number can be used at any phone booth to put them in touch with local social services and emergency services. I also keep the phone number of a great group of counselors who advocate for the homeless. That way the people asking for hellp are not left alone on the street.
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A little over a year ago, a little boy, age ten years old, showed up on my doorstep. He was ostensibly looking for "work." He was shy, obviously poor, and charting new territory. As fate would have it, I too come from a poor family and spent a lot of my childhood at other people's houses "helping out." I really wanted to invite this little boy in, feed him some food and make him feel welcome. I checked with a few friends and family to gauge their opinion of the situation. I was very surprised that almost everyone I spoke to warned me NOT to invite the boy inside and articulated a real fear about the possible horrors this little boy had planned for anybody stupid enough to believe his scam. Well, after a little thought, I decided I wasn't going to project such awful intentions on a little, ten year old boy. So, I invited him over for pizza and games. He came right on time with his little brother and we had a great evening. Since then we've gotten to be friends. Sure, they come over now and again to rake the lawn for ten bucks, but they also come over for yogurts and hot chocolate. Their friendship means a great deal to both my husband and I, and I hope it persists throughout their teen years. Compassion doesn't just feed the receiver; it also feeds the giver. Enough with all this competition bullshit!
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i don't care what they buy with the money i give them. it's not my place to judge their drinking. perhaps the money i give will be the drink that finally turns their life around. been there. god is in the streets.
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Whilst I agree about giving, there are times when we need to use our judgement regarding those on the street. Many are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and will use the money to score some more. Far better to buy them some sandwiches and coffee, so at least you know they have had a meal that day.
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Its very uplifting to hear the wonderful insights being spoken here , and also hearing about the caring of others less fortunate.
This positive energy is exactly what needs to be witnessed and harnessed in such a way as to promote the well being all of us greatly desire to hold and share with others. NAMASTE .
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Uma & Ron, I couldn't have said it better. The only thing that I might add, if I may, is that if you're not in a position to lend assistance...say a prayer that assistance will arrive quickly. Ask God to tend to that person's individual needs, allowing him/her to reach their highest potential.
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The practice of "invisibility", the not seeing of anything in our environment that may cause us to acknowledge the pain of another is the product of fear that one will be contaminated by contact, lose luck because in witnessing the lucklessness of another one might question their own deservedness, lose confidence, and be brought as low as the poor sufferer before us.This is the result of not understanding how and why good and ill fortune come to manifest. Our world is the perfect mirror of our selves. Everything around us, and ourselves too, come first from a fervent wish or fear, then a suppressing of that fear/desire which creates a pressurizing effect. When we no longer remember that we had that desire or fear it becomes manifest in physical reality.As long as it occupies the conscious level it is neutral. Then too what appears to one being as the worst of fates and surely divine punishment for evil deeds may have been just the perfect mortal experience for an advanced soul rounding out a set of lives. When we realize that everyone here is just living out their own spiritual education it is possible to see others simply as themselves, not portents of dread , and from the experience of personal pain feel for the other and want to help if they can. When I see someone needy I listen to my heart and follow what it wants me to do, human or other. Humans alone bear the burden of constant choice between cruelty and mercy as a spiritual price for our ability to make that choice.
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Give in whatever way you can; and then give some more.
Remove yourself from the equation; remove all judgement and preconceived prejudice. Do not be repulsed by what you see and only see the light that is within all things. Seeing yourself that is in all things. That is true compassion; that is true love; That is the Truth!
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