Making love is about sharing: it’s about giving and receiving, about intimacy and vulnerability. Do not deny desire: repression will only increase the pressure and there will come a time when we can ignore it no longer. Focus instead on cultivating the inner fulfillment that will truly complete us; that is ultimately far more satisfying than the fleeting relief of physical pleasure. Then your sexuality will become a joyful sharing of that internal experience: it will be innocent and transparent, rather than full of need and desperation.
The first step to disarm this addiction is awareness. If you are looking for it, sex will tempt you everywhere: on billboards, in the street, online. To move beyond this, we must first become aware the we are not our thoughts. The mind will always find something to hook onto externally; a challenge, a conquest, a flirtation. So letís learn to rise above the mind.
Observe the mind: when a thought arises, it generates a physiological response that triggers the need for satisfaction, as our hormones spring into action. Desire ripples on your skin, the mind bombards you with images. But the satisfaction will be fleeting: it will soon be gone.
To no longer be a prisoner of sexual desire, to discover the power and joy of finding fulfillment within ourselves is a wonderful thing. It requires commitment, but it is definitely worth it. And there is nothing to lose: this is not so much about modifying our behavior as it is about modifying our focus; about saying yes to ourselves, making ourselves more important than the outside and discovering the source of inner satisfaction, the love, joy and appreciation that comes from embracing our present reality instead of chasing a future fantasy.
For what we think will bring us fulfillment is in reality what keeps us from seeing the truth: that fulfillment has been here and now, all along.