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Addicted to Sex?

Making love is about sharing: it’s about giving and receiving, about intimacy and vulnerability. Do not deny desire: repression will only increase the pressure and there will come a time when we can ignore it no longer. Focus instead on cultivating the inner fulfillment that will truly complete us; that is ultimately far more satisfying than the fleeting relief of physical pleasure. Then your sexuality will become a joyful sharing of that internal experience: it will be innocent and transparent, rather than full of need and desperation.

The first step to disarm this addiction is awareness. If you are looking for it, sex will tempt you everywhere: on billboards, in the street, online. To move beyond this, we must first become aware the we are not our thoughts. The mind will always find something to hook onto externally; a challenge, a conquest, a flirtation. So letís learn to rise above the mind.

Observe the mind: when a thought arises, it generates a physiological response that triggers the need for satisfaction, as our hormones spring into action. Desire ripples on your skin, the mind bombards you with images. But the satisfaction will be fleeting: it will soon be gone.

To no longer be a prisoner of sexual desire, to discover the power and joy of finding fulfillment within ourselves is a wonderful thing. It requires commitment, but it is definitely worth it. And there is nothing to lose: this is not so much about modifying our behavior as it is about modifying our focus; about saying yes to ourselves, making ourselves more important than the outside and discovering the source of inner satisfaction, the love, joy and appreciation that comes from embracing our present reality instead of chasing a future fantasy.

For what we think will bring us fulfillment is in reality what keeps us from seeing the truth: that fulfillment has been here and now, all along.

Isha Judd will be touring the US and Canada in May for the launch of her new book, Love Has Wings. Learn more at

Read more: Addiction, Guidance, Inspiration, Spirit

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Isha Judd

Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness.


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5:08PM PDT on Apr 12, 2014

Raven B: Good for you!!! save yourself for your wedding nite!!!
That said, Sex?? What's that?? lol!!

4:34AM PST on Feb 18, 2013

Be true to oneself

10:31PM PST on Dec 13, 2012

I can think of worse things to be addicted to.

11:15AM PDT on May 29, 2012

@ Jane: People who've never had good sex think it's the most disgusting thing in the world. Those of us who know arousal, foreplay, a little experimentation and the after glow realize just how good it is for the body and inner peace

4:44PM PDT on May 26, 2012

Interesting article, thanks for posting.

12:16AM PDT on May 26, 2012

Thanks for the information!

1:33PM PDT on May 25, 2012

there is a natural urge to do that sort of thing, probably hard-wired essentially from birth

11:25PM PDT on May 24, 2012

...I guess if you're talking about the "Larry Craig", "toe tapping", "taking a wide stance", "men's restroom cruising" kind of love, now that would be kind of disgusting for his wife, I would think.

11:20PM PDT on May 24, 2012

"How can one be addicted to the most disgusting thing in the world?!"

Teresa, I'm dying to know, what is so disgusting about it? And you can't become addicted to it, some people are just hornier than others.

11:17PM PDT on May 24, 2012

"There are also (less frequently) women who are far hornier than their husbands. Long term sexual compatibility is an elusive thing."

Very true. Rose's man seems to be very horny and a tad unempathetic. I think if he were a little smoother he could get what he wants without making her feel victimized. On the other hand did Rose know how this guy was before she married him? I don't really think twice a day is out of line. I hope she didn't have visions of changing him. Men don't change, they just get worse over time. Somebody should have told her that. In Sweden they make couples live together for a year to see if they get along before marrying. European countries seem to be more advanced and less sexually repressed than America. I meet so many uptight, narrowed minded people, it makes me wonder if everybody in America is Catholic. Sex is natural and important so people should find a good match if they plan on being together for any length of time.

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Good reminders. Thank you! :)


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