Adding Patience to Elections

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees. –William Shakespeare

We are an impatient people. In our hurry-up-and-get-it-done pace, which informs not only how we work and plan but also how we treat each other, we often hurry by what we have been looking for or give up too soon. Whether it is the misguided belief that time is money and shouldn’t be wasted or the even more insidious and silent value that we should be able to change our life situation at our whim, our collective disrespect for both time and process in life is rampant.

On a macro level we see our impatience playing out in our government at least every two years. An impatient and anxiety-driven electorate creates political movements, not based on rationale, confident decision making and long term planning. Instead these movements appeal to the collective impatience and anxiety to be the leader. We expect instant results from our cumbersome political process even if the problems they are challenged by were created over decades. Not surprisingly we swing between parties at an ever quickening pace, not allowing either one the chance to work together.

Our impatience fuels our failing personal relationships as well. Most us grow up with little education and value for the art and practice of a patient heart. Instead, our knee jerk reactions to the anxiety we experience when our relationships falter is to give up on the challenges of intimacy before we really know what is next. Too often we don’t wait, and in our haste to remove the discomfort we dispense with our promises and relationships as though they are easily replaceable. We witness the deep repercussions of this false expendability within our family structures and even our connections to our community.

Looking around it is easy to see the source of all this impatience. It begins in each of us, when our immediate gratification of our goals is thwarted or even just delayed, we leap to giving up instead of learning to wait. We seldom recognize the discouragement and failure we experience as a symptom of our own impatience. Our impatience with our own process and our intolerance of our own shortcomings multiplies in our personal relationships and as a part of the greater whole in our community and country.

The truth is that developing patience is an act of emotional generosity and a true measure of social maturity. When we allow ourselves and others the space and time for the process of learning to unfold, we agree to a life that can improve by degree. Patience is a form of continuous forgiveness, it offers the benefit of the doubt to ourselves, the people we care for and the people we have trusted to lead us. By believing in the premise that we are all doing the best we can at any given moment, we accept a relationship with time that carries a wisdom greater than our own and are willing to let go of our own sense of timing.

Da Vinci, one of the great innovators of the western world said this: “Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind.” Long seen as the companion of wisdom, patience is the one character virtue of humanity that has a big enough platform to build all the others. We have to learn to wait, we have to be willing to stay with a process even when it doesn’t immediately gratify us.

Adding the quiet power of patience to our relationships is a soothing balm that transforms them. The daily annoyances, the missed signals and miscommunication, the conflicting levels of desire and togetherness that characterize all long term relationships become part of an ongoing process that has its peaks and valleys. We don’t measure our relationship by the feelings we have at this moment, rather they become part of a process that has it’s own lessons and wisdom. We get to see what is beyond what feels impossible to us, because we have the heart to wait out our challenges.

This election day, make choices with a patient heart. Go home and offer the same wisdom to your family and friends. Start with yourself, give yourself the patience you deserve.

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

J.L. A.

10:02AM PST on Feb 13, 2012

Significant change often takes more time than we realized would be needed--especially when moving major institutions like government.

send a green star

Angie K.

11:26PM PDT on Oct 24, 2011

Patience not only makes it possible for us to bear the anguish and trauma of life. Patience also gives us the opportunity, if we will, to persevere — to follow our dream and discover who we truly are

Bonnie K.

12:57PM PDT on Nov 5, 2010

So well said, and so important right now. So important always. I look at the wild political swinging, the endless microscopic analyzing that becomes its own agenda. I watch clips of "news"casters who become so obsessed with their own opinions that they really can't see anything else, addicted to the feeling of self-righteousness as it continues to inflate. It's a form of madness, really – minds gleefully bounding down their own roads ... but being presented as some kind of ultimate truth, when it's only a miniature created reality like any other.

And Patience (thank you!) is the quiet, wise chamber of the heart that can outlast all the clamor, and allow real resolution to find its way to the surface.

Past Member .

6:01PM PDT on Oct 31, 2010

great lessons for us, things that we used to do and have forgotten or never learned. they say patience is a virtue and it appears to be so. thanks.

Mary B.

4:24PM PDT on Oct 31, 2010

And while you're waiting patiently, keep focusing on the essence of the good thing you want. It may not come in the form you imagine, but the essence of it will. That is how Law of Attraction works. You get the essence of your focus, not what your mind 'asks' for. Think of how many poor people world wide are crying out for relief from struggle and misery, holding a kernal of hope for relief.Then you may begin to understand why the capitalist system is shaking and there will be no salvaging it in it's current form. It is based on taking the resources of others, exploiting workers to produce cheap goods to be sold at ever higher prices to support a class of investors who do not pay enough back into the system to keep it functioning. We are seeing capitalism return to it's roots as super rich corporations hold peoples lives at stake by whether or not they can create enough jobs to keep everybody working. They are failing and we must 'do' distribution of money differently.We need another stimulous package but this time send checks directly to the people, starting with the lowest income bracket and keep it coming till it 'bubbles up'.Let the rich keep their money, and print new money for the people. And then finally maybe people will begin to value our natural resources as they are not infinate.

9:15AM PDT on Oct 31, 2010

We could cut down the amount of time and money wasted on elections by banning all TV and radio ads. If a candidate can't produce a platform - with good English, and verifiable references for any proposals affecting the economy or the environment, they should not be allowed to run for office. Anc please, no references to religion- we're not voting for pastor. If a voter is not willing to take the time to read the platforms of ALL candidates in a race, they should not vote.

Silvia W.

11:41PM PDT on Oct 30, 2010

I give our Congress and President the benefit of the doubt. As was said, it took many years of poorly thought-out policies to get us to this point, and it will take more than 2 years to solve our problems. Critical "pundits" have to find something to yap about, to earn their salaries. May we all develop more patience and encourage our representatives to practice integrity in their jobs. Communicating politely with Congress people will help them to serve us all in a better way.

Tom R.

8:10PM PDT on Oct 30, 2010

Patience is such a rare commodity these days. We demand immediate results and are unwilling to wait for the good. Relax and remember the injunction, "This too shall pass."

KayL N.

4:13PM PDT on Oct 30, 2010

Patience is the companion of wisdom. ~St. Augustine

Linda T.

1:03PM PDT on Oct 30, 2010

Politians should have to live on Social Security-lol. I am sick and tired of all the negative political voting ads. All I want to hear is what each politician is honestly going to do or has done in the past. NO MORE cutting the other guy down.