Are You Ready to Help When Others Need You?

Many of you wrote to me last week about my article on Random Acts of Kindness. Most people agreed that it is the “doer” of the good deed who reaps the most benefit. One reader remarked that when we are supposed to do something and don’t, it weighs heavily on us. I started paying more attention to areas where I can help because of a terribly painful experience when I chose not to help.

It was this tragedy that woke me up to the realization that I don’t have to save the world, I just need to act when something comes across my path. Choosing to ignore helping someone because it is inconvenient will weigh heavily on us for the rest of our lives. This is what happened to me. The searing pain of living with the knowledge that I could have saved a little innocent kitten, but walked away instead, has always haunted me. But it also changed the course of my life.

About 25 years ago, I went along with my sister to visit her friend’s pottery studio in the coastal town of Half Moon Bay where I lived. On the fence was an abandoned kitten, sneezing and shivering. My sister’s friend said she was hoping someone would come along and take care of her. I secretly wondered why she wasn’t taking her in but didn’t know her well enough to suggest the possibility.

Being a life-long lover of cats, I yearned to take her. The resistance I had came from my (former) husband who was allergic to, and hated cats — always a bone of contention between us. In those days I was a total people-pleaser, afraid of rocking the boat in my already rocky marriage. Feeling horribly torn but too spineless to do what I knew was right, I walked away.

The searing guilt of not having taken the kitten tore me up inside. I prayed continually that someone else would come along to help, trying to justify to myself my “impossible” situation. I finally called my sister and asked if she knew anything about the kitten. She told me that her friend called and said that it had crawled up into a truck engine that night to get warm and suffered a gruesome death the next day.

The news hit me like a body blow. How could this happen?, I railed at the universe. Why didn’t you send someone to help? I then heard the answer loud and clear, “I did send someone, and it was you.” It was for me to do, and I walked away. And because of my cowardice she was dead.

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By Erica Sofrina

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Carrie-Anne B.

10:05AM PDT on May 1, 2013

thanks for sharing :)

May 1
send a green star

LILING O.

6:16AM PDT on Apr 5, 2013

YES! Me and older sister, we are willingly to sacrifice our time to help helpless stray animals that need us.
I mean,there are many other people who are doing this also. So we can see that after all, there are tens of millions good and kind-hearted people in this world!

April 5
send a green star

Joanne S.

10:23AM PDT on Mar 29, 2013

What a beautiful story, thanks Erica.

March 29
send a green star

Emelie H.

4:10PM PDT on Mar 27, 2013

Thank you for this important, sad, happy, touching story. I can really understand why the little puppy loved you so much!

March 27
send a green star

Erica S.

11:01PM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

Thank you to all for your wonderful comments and insights. I read every one and appreciate all of you who take the time to share your thoughts. I know some made comments that they wish the story had been about a human I had helped, I do have many that are about people. I posted one last week. You can read these at www.care2.com/greenliving/author/ericas

I am happy to say I ran into the woman who took the puppy a few years later. She said she took it home to her parents house, they had three other dogs and this one was supposed to be hers, but her father loved it so much that she gave it to him and it became his number one dog. As to his proclivity for humping everything in sight, well.....I didn't find out how that ended.

March 25
send a green star

Laura F.

2:52PM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

thank you, I will try to keep this in mind.

Nimue P.

1:41AM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

We have all been in a situation like the one you describe, and we've probably all failed to act in those few seconds. You are right, you can't save the world, you can only do what you can do, and that has to be enough. Thank you for sharing your story, Erica :)

Cindy R.

5:08PM PDT on Mar 24, 2013

Thank you for sharing your story, you certainly did right thing the second time around!!

March 24
send a green star

Winn A.

11:32AM PDT on Mar 24, 2013

Thanks

Rosanne D.

8:56AM PDT on Mar 24, 2013

To everyone who emailed comments to me re this subject, I wish to thank you. Unfortunately, i do not know how to respond to your emails. I am new to this site. But once again, thank you!