Be glad you are not a snail. If you were, your family jewels would be located on your neck, right behind your eye stalks. Snails, like slugs, are hermaphrodites, meaning they are both male and female. Even though self-fertilization is logistically possibly for the lazy snail, it is an evolutionary dead-end, so they must still seek out a mate. How do suitors send out a signal that they are in the market for a little copulating? Love darts. These cupid-style darts are chock full of calcium and mucus, which increase the amount of sperm that can be stored in a snail’s uterus.
The male angler fish is a born moocher, as he has a short-lived digestive system and thus must quickly find a female to latch on to. When he finds a female he gives her a love bite and becomes permanently attached to her side — a loyal sidekick, you might say. However, the female angler fish will be disappointed if she is hoping for some good fun, as her sidekick will soon disintegrate into nothing but a sperm bank that she can tap into whenever she lays eggs. Convenient, but not necessarily all that exciting, right ladies?
An octopus’ penis snaps off during mating — ouch! But do not fret, this penis-snapping octopus species grows another love organ just in time for the next mating season.
White Fronted Parrots
When in the mood, white-fronted parrots love to snuggle and kiss. They actually get quite passionate about this kissing. However, the parallel between human and parrot courtship ends here. Once the male is confident his lady bird is digging his moves, he gets ready to move to second base. How? By vomiting! So charming.