Antidote for Insecurity

If we are to design a world without violence and prejudice, we must develop ways to help people become more confident, aware, and secure. The less secure we are within ourselves, the greater our need to put others down–to try and make ourselves feel superior.

Putting others down is a sick response, a blind, short-range, unhealthy response, increasing the likelihood that prejudice will be used on us in return. But there is a way to help build confidence and thus counter the spiral of violence in everyday life, which culminates in warfare.

Find out what it is:

One way to build confidence is to help others gain a closer, more sensitive relationship with their environment. The resulting knowledge and sense of belonging are a strong antidote for insecurity.

It helps my thinking to imagine society as an extension of myself–as my social body. Anything I do to harm that body does harm to me. My neighbors’ poverty is mine; their need is my need as well. And all prejudice, all violence, all hatred that I send out into the world returns to me. John Donne crystallized this for us all by saying, “…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Inspiration, Self-Help

Adapted from A Handmade Life, by William S. Coperthwaite (Chelsea Green, 2002). Copyright (c) 2002 by William S. Coperthwaite. Reprinted by permission of Chelsea Green.
Adapted from A Handmade Life, by William S. Coperthwaite (Chelsea Green, 2002).

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Bob P.

8:20AM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

true thanks

send a green star

KS G.

4:40AM PST on Feb 8, 2012

Thanks for the article.

J.L. A.

4:49PM PST on Feb 6, 2012

every little bit helps

Sue M.

7:22PM PST on Jan 12, 2012

thanks

Robert O.

1:10AM PDT on Apr 27, 2011

Very true. Thank you!

Janice P.

9:52AM PDT on May 2, 2010

To Natalia, my own heart has been hurt so many times by people for whom I did good. I understand the pain of that and of the fear of opening your heart again. The pain is just something that we have to ride out. In the meantime, I send my compassion and comfort to you.

Sometimes, it is helpful to remember that some people have serious problems (mental, physical, emotional, financial) with which they are grappling, and they take it out on those closest to them - like someone who has helped them. In many of those cases, you could have been ANYBODY (you could have been Jesus), and they would have done the very same thing, anyway. The fault is not yours. You tried to help another human being. That is wonderful. Many other people would not do anything to help someone else. That makes you very special. Pat yourself on the back for trying to help another person, and then silently let them and the memory go. That is the only real way to overcome the hurt.

9:31AM PDT on May 2, 2010

You have quoted one of my very favorite poems of all time: For Whom the Bell Tolls. I first read it in high school, and it made such an impression on me, that it actually made me cry. From that moment on, it changed my life in so many ways. Imagine, John Donne, reaching out from the grave with his truly immortal words, touching a high school student and, as a result, changing her thinking and her life. Thank you for presenting it here. It will be the most beautiful part of my day.

Natalia V.

12:42AM PST on Mar 9, 2010

This is a very great article. But sometimes people answer you bad for that good you do for them. How not no close the heart again, or at least not to feel pain at this point? That's a very important issue for me.

Alicia N.

9:50PM PST on Jan 29, 2010

so true, thanks.

Karol K.

6:48AM PST on Nov 23, 2009

Great way to look at life.