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Are You Controlling? (Quiz)

0-10 points
Your personality isn’t dominated by an excessive need to be in control. You are likely to be comfortable with your feelings and tolerant of other people. You realize that you are imperfect, therefore you understand the failings of others. It is easy for you to let events take their own course, and surprises don’t throw you off balance. You probably place a high value on spontaneity and the expression of emotions.

10-20 points
Being in control is a frequent issue with you. You have more fears and hurt feelings than you let on, but you don’t work hard to resolve these feelings. Being in charge isn’t necessarily that important to you, but having your way usually is. You consider yourself organized and efficient, yet it isn’t a major event if things get a little out of control. You have found someone whom you can be honest and open with, but there are limits to how much you can safely say or do, even with that person.

Over 20 points
You are a controlling person. You feel that control is necessary because people hurt your feelings a lot, and your memory of this goes back into your painful childhood. To keep from being hurt more, you try to control your feelings, which basically means you are very selective about revealing yourself to others. Your overriding need to be in charge or to have things your way drives people away from you, despite the fact that you work very hard to take care of their needs. The only emotion you show easily is anger or irritability. You constantly explain your motives and give reasons for why you are the way you are, but somehow this doesn’t help you get you what you want, which is other people’s love and affection.

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Adapted from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra, M.D. (Three Rivers Press, 1998). Reprinted by permission of the author.
Adapted from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra, M.D. (Three Rivers Press, 1998).

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

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135 comments

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2:23PM PDT on May 7, 2013

8 points though... :/

2:18PM PDT on May 7, 2013

too laid back to be "in control" :)

11:25AM PST on Mar 1, 2013

Very interesting and for me, very true.

4:19AM PST on Feb 17, 2013

My hubby and tried this and both got 18 and 17 respectively. What was good was we talked for ages about the answers. Thanks

9:38AM PST on Feb 14, 2013

I found the quiz helpful. I came in at a solid 10 with perhaps one more I couldn't quite decide on. It's good to be aware!

11:52AM PST on Feb 7, 2013

How funny. I came in at a 10 1/2 (still really wishy-washy about one question) and I've always thought I was this huge control freak.
Interesting the perception vs the reality? And does this quiz really show the reality or is it a totally subjective sort of thing? How does the phrase "Perception equals reality" come into play here?

And, of course, there are probably many who know me here who would TOTALLY disagree and say I lied on the test, LOL!!

(and I can't be the only one here who believes that Mia needs some help there. Sounds a bit-one-sided to me. That's not self-control, that's being controlled and it sounded like fear)

1:09PM PST on Jan 25, 2013

I didn't bother with all three pages...I get the message.

1:16AM PST on Jan 25, 2013

I came across a book on controlers. It made sense. Controlers are people who care too much! It could usually be also defined as high anxiety. I found a book that helped me to understand the controllers. They care TOO much. They have high anxiety. NOT ALL of course! There are always exceptions.

However, the same solution to high anxiety and the need to CONTR0L (controllers who care too much) can be most effective in becoming free from either or both compulsions.
The book I found in a library THE WORRY CURE sure cured my high anxiety. I no longer lived in a world of "What if?" The basic mesage was:

LIFE HAS NO GUARANTEES.

Accept that fact. Live with it.

It set me free of anxiety, enriched my ability to look straight into a controller's face and say,
"Nope. I'm co-dependent no more."

Bacon and some other philosopher both said, "Knowledge is power." I have learned if I get anxious, the first step is to get information. It's the not knowing that scares us. Then analyze what I CAN do about the situation. After evaluation, do what I CAN do. It's one step at a time to solve most any problem. And that does not mean to become a controller. lol



11:18PM PST on Jan 24, 2013

wow got 19! I would love to get some tips on how to overcome this issue ...

7:57PM PST on Jan 24, 2013

This is all well and good, but why not provide some tips on how to help overcome this?

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