Are You Rocking The Red Tent?

“What’s your problem? You on the rag?”

I was in seventh grade the first time a boy dismissed reality by saying that I was having a fit of hormone-driven hysteria. He was teasing a classmate and being hateful to everyone who crossed his path, and when I stood up to him, he tried to shame me into backing down.

Clearly, he didn’t yet understand how hormones work. Nor did he know about my near obsession with getting The Last Word, or my astrological advantage (Taurus), or that I was in the early stages of my training as a verbal assault weapon. He was ill-prepared and I came undone. It’s mostly a blur now but I can still remember yelling at him, in front of many of our peers, “I might be on the rag but when that ends, you’ll still be a jerk!”

For the record, I was not actually bleeding at the time. I have no idea why, long before I could actually call myself a feminist, I felt the need to defend my menstruating self, but I did. I had a strong need. At the time, I knew almost nothing about myself, about what it means to be a woman and still, the idea that his cruelty could be washed away in a river of my blood infuriated me. It was a profound betrayal of truth and fairness, and I wasn’t, as they say, going to take it anymore.

Recently, a woman I’m connected with on Facebook posted something very thoughtful and respectful about a political trend she finds disturbing. The conversation quickly spiraled into an exchange between her and a man who was, in my opinion, being disrespectful. She stayed engaged, again very respectfully, and stood her ground. As I watched it unfold, I felt impressed by her ability to be so firm and clear but still keep it clean, especially when he was not.

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Elsie H.

10:54AM PDT on Oct 22, 2012

Food for thought. thanks

October 22
send a green star

Marie W.

9:12PM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

Men are usually too busy spraying the deck with testosterone.

September 20
send a green star

Rachel R.

7:45PM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

Eckart Tolle says something similar, that menstruation is a time when women can deeply connect to the pain of the world. I find it sacred, and the tears tend to be a week before in my case. Men are also affected by their hormones, they may just be less aware of it or willing to acknowledge it. And of course, hormones never take away our choice.

Tal H.

5:02PM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

“LGBT problem”

Laura M.

1:12PM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

I have that intensity every day. All that changes on my period is that I am physically in pain. Therefore I dislike being on my period. It's different for everyone, though.

Duane B.

11:19AM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

Thank you for sharing.

JL A.

8:09AM PDT on Sep 20, 2012

interesting question

Jennifer C.

6:00PM PDT on Sep 19, 2012

Thanks.