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6 Health Benefits of Self Pleasure

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6 Health Benefits of Self Pleasure

Q: I have an active sex life with my partner, but I still like to masturbate. I know this makes my partner uncomfortable and feel like she is not meeting my needs, but I just like to do it. She has suggested that it is not good for the relationship or for my health. Is self pleasuring wrong in the context of a healthy sexual relationship?  She says she doesn’t need it, but I think it would be good for her. What do you think?

A: This is a timely question, as May was declared National Masturbation Month in 1995 when Good Vibrations launched the idea to protest the firing of Clinton-appointed U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders. Conservative members of the administration blasted Elders when she responded to questions regarding safe sex by saying that, “Masturbation is something that perhaps should be taught.” This was a remarkably bold statement at the time and although masturbation is considered one of the most common sexual acts on the planet, the silence and shame that shadow masturbation have long and deep roots.

Beyond the religious condemnation that has long been associated with self pleasure, the practice was not long ago considered an affliction for which medical doctors used the cruelest of instruments and techniques to control young boys from experiencing any pleasure at all.

So it is not surprising that the self reporting of this behavior still hovers between 30-70 percent depending on gender and age. Even with all of the benefits that this practice can bring to a couple’s sex life, this is still a behavior that many people are not comfortable sharing with their partners.

Next: 6 benefits of going solo

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

248 comments

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8:16PM PDT on Oct 12, 2012

I can personally not think of anything hotter than the thought of someone I like masturbating P:

1:37PM PST on Feb 9, 2012

Nothing wrong with a partner masturbating more than the other, everyones got different sex drives..just some people get offended by it unfortunatly

3:50PM PDT on Oct 21, 2011

Thank you for the insight.

2:36PM PDT on Aug 30, 2011

I masturbate all the time. even after sex. my bf doesn't masturbate much if at all.

6:09PM PDT on Jul 10, 2011

My friend, you have to please your women partner before or after masturbation, regardless. It is not right to ignore your women partner, she has the god given right to have sexual pleasure. However if she doesn’t want you to masturbate even after you fully pleased her then I think she got problem. I don’t see any wrong if you want to go farther by masturbation after she reached her pleasure limits with you, many man, like me, always have lots of energy to dissipate in positive ways. You either have to find different partner, convince her that it is ok, or do it secretly. As long as you are pleasing your women, she has no right to curb your natural feelings. Remember that in some cultures a man is allowed more than one women! This is because the average man has more energy than our beloved women…

6:57PM PDT on Jul 3, 2011

Thanks

5:26AM PDT on Jul 3, 2011

It IS a great equalizer for relationships where there is a disparity in sexual activity...I guess the only time when it becomes too much is when it's damaging your ability to relate sexually to your partner, or to be pleased by anybody else...

9:31PM PDT on Jul 1, 2011

interesting

11:49PM PDT on Jun 14, 2011

Thanks.

3:16PM PDT on Jun 10, 2011

My husband and I are very active and getting active but, I need those moments of relieving myself and go solo. I been Masterbating since 13 and I love it and it feels good afterwords. I just getting more and more int please solo or with my spouse. My husband does it also when I am not able to relieve him. Its a way to relieve yourself. I never wanted to be a Virgin in teen years however, if I gave myself to someone I would be in trouble. So I did solo since 13. Nothing wrong with that.

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