START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good

Ask the Loveologist: Sex Toys

Ask the Loveologist: Sex Toys

I recently attended a party with all of these products for sex. I have never used any toys although the hostess said everyone does. Still I have no idea where to start. Can you tell me what kinds of toys are good for beginners? What do men like vs women? Thanks.

This is a great question and one that many people have when they attend an intimacy party for the first time. Vibrators of all kinds show up at these parties and the one warning I would give is to know that just like, ingredients that make up lubricant, some vibrators are healthier than others.

By far the biggest category of adult products, after pornography, is the production and sale of vibrating toys. The majority, over 70 percent are made in China and sold all over the world with a remarkable lack of oversight. A report in 2001 by CBC suggested that the North American market alone is worth $400 to $500 million. It is safe to say though, that adult novelties are products that everyone wants, but no one is really willing to talk about.

European studies of adult toys have shown extremely high levels of off- gassing of dangerous chemicals like phthalates in very high concentrations and that even in small levels have been linked to cancer and damage of the reproductive system. Being an intelligent and conscious consumer of adult products is an absolute necessity in this unregulated market- so please consider this a health warning and ask about the ingredients and the coating on the soft jelly and “cyber skin” items which are popular and often made with cheap PVC. As bad as these ingredients may be for the environment, they are even worse for sensitive tissue.

Interestingly, recent studies have shown that over 50 percent of the population use vibrators, both male and female and they are widely recommended by physicians and therapists for a wide range of sexual dysfunction. Vibrators are a great toy for beginners to experienced lovers alike and are positively associated with an increase in pleasure for both genders.

When it comes to shape, size and function, the sky is literally the limit. Trying vibrators that can be used both internally and externally is a good idea. Most vibrators that a woman enjoy can also be used by male partners as well. Considering a vibrator purchase, know like in most areas you get what you pay for. I have been selling and raving about Lelo pleasure objects for years. They are by far the Cadillac of vibrators and charge like a cell phone. In a wide range of styles and colors, there is sure to be a fit for any woman. I never get complaints and the products are guaranteed for a year.

Another new toy that was voted toy of the year is the We-Vibe. Stimulating both interior and exterior simultaneously and allowing enough room for intercourse at the same time, speaks highly of the sophisticated Canadian engineering and imagination behind the toy. We can’t keep them on the shelf.

Additionally the book that I recommend and sell the most about the topic would be Violet Blue’s The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys which is without question provides the most comprehensive overview of everything you ever wondered about sex toys and probably more. It’s a remarkably diverse and wacky world in sex toy land…enjoy the journey.

Wendy Strgar is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love and family. She helps couples tackle the questions and concerns of intimacy and relationships, providing honest answers and innovative advice. Wendy lives in Eugene, Oregon with her husband, a psychiatrist, and their four children ages 11-20.

Read more: Ask the Loveologist, Health, Love, Sex

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love

Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
3:25PM PDT on Mar 14, 2013


5:56PM PDT on Sep 29, 2011

Well i guess im late to the party :( just had to say i havent met a bad vibrator yet :)

10:59PM PDT on Jun 2, 2010

I am pleased that all the sex industry is not only whispered in rooms.Everyone kidnapped one of us here have an opinion, and even if you disagree with another member.


9:26AM PDT on Mar 25, 2010

Thanks for the insight it reallys help with my thinking on the Vibrator topic.

1:51AM PDT on Mar 21, 2010

The article is very illuminating.
I am glad to see the whole sex industry is not just whispered about in secluded rooms.
$400 to 5$mill. worth of vibrators and otheer toys!
The remark about "lelo" vibrators should obviously be used as a warning if you are into these sort of things!
Anyway, informative article!

6:19PM PDT on Mar 19, 2010

Niarica: How sad that having learned to be able to at least speak 2 languages, you then feel the need to use other FOWL language to make a point.

Everyone one of us here has an opinion, and even if you disagree with another member, please leave the language where it should be ...flushed in the bathroom!

4:27AM PDT on Mar 19, 2010

message to the fucking stupid to Brie B.
vai a quel paese cretino che non sai neanche scrivere in in inglese fai solo pena. vai a stendere i panni al tanaro
vai a ciucciare i cazzi altrove bastardo che non sei altro

4:25AM PDT on Mar 19, 2010


7:25AM PDT on Mar 17, 2010

To Niarica L. and Teresa Wlosowicz;
If you don't like the subject then just DON'T READ IT! How dare you try to poop on our Parade?

6:09AM PDT on Mar 17, 2010


add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

That is so cute :)

Thanks for the information.

Thank you for the information. I had no idea of the slavery issue in Thailand~ so sad. Sending Lov…


Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.