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Be a Perfect Lover

Be a Perfect Lover

To the extent you know love, you become love. Love is more than an emotion, it is a force of nature and therefore must contain truth.

To some extent we all fall in love with images. We carry these images around inside ourselves, waiting until we find a match for them in the external world. Usually we are searching for someone either to reflect our own self-images or to repair them. One kind of love seeks a mirror, the other wants to add a missing piece. In both cases there is an underlying sense of need. Feeling incomplete in yourself, you try to bolster your lack through someone else.

“If you want to feel love as God feels it, you must fill all your voids, for God can love only from the state of fullness,” Merlin advised.

To be a perfect lover would mean to have no secret weakness or wound you want someone else to fix for you. Searching out your own voids is the first step, filling them with being or essence is the second. This process is usually called learning to love yourself, but we must be careful with that term. Too often it is synonymous with learning to love your self-image. In the wizard’s eyes self-image is simply ego; it is denial papering over the void of lack.

The real process of learning to love yourself would be better termed to love your Self, meaning your spirit.

Adapted from Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 1995).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Inspiration, Love, Relationships, Self-Help, Spirit, , , , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.


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7:38PM PST on Jan 27, 2013


8:15PM PST on Jan 13, 2013

Thank you.

3:17AM PST on Jan 10, 2013

Thanks ;)

4:17AM PST on Jan 2, 2013

thank you

7:13AM PST on Dec 31, 2012


7:01AM PST on Dec 31, 2012


7:46AM PST on Dec 30, 2012


3:30PM PST on Dec 29, 2012

Very, very true ! Loving your Self and not yourself. The distinction is essential ! Thank you for this !

2:43PM PST on Dec 29, 2012


12:48PM PST on Dec 28, 2012

I would say this is all individualized, everyone has their own definitions and expectations.

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