“If your significant other is not sharing the journey of enlightenment with you, they may be either staying where they are, or evolving on a different path than you.
At some point, you may realize that you are in different spaces and that there seems to be quite a gap between you.
The most obvious solution to bridge this gap is to meet in the middle. Which, essentially means that you must shift away from who you truly are, and they must do the same. Thus, you are now coming together as people you are not.
How long will that space be fulfilling?
Although I prefer not to use the term “level” in a relationship (it implies superiority), you may be in a higher space than your significant other. Meeting in the middle may then mean that you have to come down a few clicks – which you would be able to do.
They, however, would have to come up from the space they are in, into a world they have no experience in. How realistic would it be to expect them to be able to do that? In order for you to communicate effectively, you would have to meet them where they are at and communicate in a manner they can comprehend. If your journeys continue to evolve in different directions and the gap between your respective spaces increases, it may be increasingly less fulfilling for you to do that. Obviously, your relationship is nothing to do with your vocation or your business.
To ensure you maintain a healthy, empowering, mutually-fulfilling relationship you both must ensure that it is maintained as a priority.
You are both distinct, individual human beings and, you both have a specific purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. The more you keep your relationship and your shared journey as a focal point, the more opportunities you will see to evolve together.
As always, prevention is better than cure. Being aware of the potential to grow differently can open you both to options to grow into your greatness, while maintaining your loving space.
If you have realized that you and your partner have grown apart, then something obviously needs to shift.
You are not going to give up being who you are just to appease them. And, you won’t expect them to make a quantum leap to attain the same space you hold.
Now you are aware that meeting in the middle may not be realistic, you are now free to seek the options that will support you both in the life journey you desire.”
There are no easy answers to making your “Good Enough” marriage a place of continued hot desire. It is really challenging work, and can take a lot of guts. It is all about taking yourself and your partner to a new level – and that can feel frightening. All I can tell you is that while there is no Santa Claus, a hot sex life deep into our lives is possible – it just takes courage to live past our comfortable boxes and the television set.
To learn more about Pamela’s first book where she shares her personal journey through sexual desire and monogamy please check out Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner (Rodale, January 2011).