http://www.care2.com/greenliving/caring-for-a-difficult-older-adult.html
Caring for a Difficult Older Adult
By Connie Matthiessen, Caring.com senior editor
Being a caregiver is never easy, but if you’ve spent much of your adult life trying to just get along with a parent or another older adult you’re close to, being thrust into the role of his caregiver may be excruciating.
The bad news is that if he’s always been critical, grumpy, intrusive, or just plain mean, it’s unlikely that old age and poor health will improve his personality much. The good news is that as an adult, you’ve probably become more confident in yourself and have learned to deal with him more effectively–and if you haven’t, now is your chance to learn. Believe it or not, it’s possible to make your relationship work more smoothly so that you can help him through this stage of life.
Difficult people come in all varieties, from self-absorbed and demanding to angry and remote. Caregiving situations vary widely, too, of course: Your experience will be different depending on whether you’re providing daily care, supplying occasional care, or coordinating care from a distance. No single approach will address every dilemma, but the following tips should make caring for the person a little easier.
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27 comments
add your comment »I FOUND THE ADVICE DIFFICULT TO READ, MY MOTHER AND I NEVER GOT ON AND IM THE ONE LEFT TO CARE FOR HER DEMENTIA/ALZ....SHE IS ABUSIVE, DIFFICULT AND HATEFULL, I FEEL AT THE END OF MY TETHER, OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN HER, I FEEL MY LIFE HAS COME TO AN END.....
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thanks...
Kabin
Konteyner
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Hey ! you won't beleive but I am taking care of 90yrs old father-in-law .I left my good pay job and now sitting at home taking care of my child (now grown up ) and my father-in-law It is not an easy job . My husband is always on tour and I am alone taking care of him .I myself suffering from high blood pressure . I have three sister's in -law (Big family) can anybody suggest what can I do to have some change in my daily routine job .
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Thank you.
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I appreciate this article. I am taking care of my father who has dementia/Alz. He wants to fight and scream and yell everytime we engage in conversation. Sometimes I just have to leave the room and come back. I tell him I love him and everything is okay. It is hard for him to lose his mind and know that it is happening. It helps me to remember that he was my mother's love. My mother was so loving and unconditional. He and I have never had a great relationship, however, he was a good father. I take care of him now because he took care of me, always. In my heart, I have never thought differently. It is hard when they get to this stage and you can't recognize them anymore. Instead, they seem to act like trapped injured animals. Just walking away from the ugly words and coming back with love works for now.
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I can appreciate these writings quite a bit as I was care-giver for each of my parents. Each one taken care of at one and each one with complete and total different personalities as when they were young. My father was always loving, laughing full of life and an amazing mind. Driving? EZ, I simply took his keys away. Would drive him to the store in his truck, when he stopped bathing I would bathe him, walked him into the shower turned my head and would wait, when he did not wash I had to do it for him. My father died sweetly and like a child - He was loving to the end. My mother was the dark side, fought every step of the way, was mean, cantankerous and a couple of times would slap my face with a hand full of feces when I was changing her diaper. My mother died in her bed and in my arms. With all the responsibility and the agony of watching them disintegrate I do not regret one moment spent with them. They were the best parents ever and I was blessed to have them. Good and Bad, Happy and Sad...it was a little pay back to all they gave to me and our family.
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If you've had a loving parent, this helps put dealing with them getting older in perspective. Beautiful sentiments.
http://parentswish.Com/site01/big.HTML>http://parentswish.Com/site01/big.HTML
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older people have given more to ALL of us whom are younger, and they should be loved and admired, respected always.
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Thank You!
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never regret having taken care of an old person, as when they are gone your heart will break. My Mom has been gone for 9 years and I miss her every day. She bless her was never impossible but looking out for her and caring for her was my pleasure, May she forever be in my heart.
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