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Are All Moms Perfect?

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Are All Moms Perfect?

By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com

Nearly any of us who are mothers have wanted to be a perfect example of motherhood. Yet, the reality is, since we are human, most of us perceive some failures in our own mothering. We do the best that we can and often overcome tough issues of our own. Yet we are rarely the saints who are often portrayed in literature and advertisements, especially during this special time when we celebrate mothers.

We need to understand, love and forgive ourselves for our perceived imperfections as mothers. And yes, we need to try to understand, love and forgive our mothers for what may have been less than perfect mothering practices. Perfection is hard to define and resides in the eye of the beholder, so it’s a subjective idea, anyway.

Most readers will feel that their mothers have or had some flaws, but did a pretty good job. Some readers, unfortunately, were raised by abusive mothers often women who were themselves abused and were too emotionally damaged to break the cycle.

Most of our mothers did their best.

I’d like to pay tribute to my own mother. She was a wonderful, loving person. Was she perfect? No. She was human, so she had her faults. But I look back on our relationship with love, appreciation and compassion. I do know that I was fortunate to have her as my mother.

How about your mother? Can you look back on your childhood and say “she did her best?” For readers who suffered emotional and/or physical abuse from mothers with compromised minds, hearts and spirits, that takes a lot of understanding, forgiveness, and perhaps professional help. However, reaching the point of forgiveness is important. For only by understanding and forgiving our mothers can we understand and forgive ourselves.

“I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die”
Did Your Mother Really Know Best?
“I Love My Mother, But I Don’t Like Her”

Celebrating the Human Side of Motherhood originally appeared on AgingCare.com.

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73 comments

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8:22AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Since no humans can achieve perfection there is obviously no such thing as the perfect mother or father, husband, wife, child, individual. It often depends on how one regards their own mother when it comes to thinking of Mother's Day. Am sad when hearing that some people who have been sexually abused or otherwise mistreated by one or both parents as mentioned by several people commenting here.

Some of us are lucky and have wonderful mothers and others have mixed reviews or just plain horrific mothers depending on the individuals involved. We all remember and honour (or not in the more horrific cases) or appreciate our moms. Mine passed away back in 1984 from cancer and I like to burn a candle in her memory on certain days.

1:11PM PDT on May 22, 2012

My mother was not perfect, no, but she did do the best she could, rather like this article mentioned. There are certainly points in the comments about mothers who do not do the best they can... but I don't think that is a normal situation. Those mothers are clearly not in their right minds. Not to pardon their actions, but even they are deserving of compassion.

9:30PM PDT on May 20, 2012

No! My mother stood by and allowed my bother to do to me what he wanted. She is jealous of me and has always done things to make me fall and really hurt. I have not seen her in 7 years. My father was dead 10 months until I found out by googling his name and found his obituary. I wish I could say one positive thing about her but mother is not not of them. I am sure there are mothers who are wonderful but, to me that is just a dream.

8:07AM PDT on May 18, 2012

No one is perfect,just do the best you can.

2:43PM PDT on May 15, 2012

Perfectionism is a flaw that tends to encourage other flaws. Don't strive to be perfect. Strive to do the best that you can.

1:29PM PDT on May 14, 2012

No one is perfect.

1:23PM PDT on May 14, 2012

My mother may not be perfect, but she is ok by me. She turned 90 this year and I will be happy to have her for another 90 years.

12:12PM PDT on May 14, 2012

All people, mothers or not, are doing the best they can, WITH THE TOOLS THEY'VE GOT, at any given moment.

7:02AM PDT on May 14, 2012

Hi, Greetings from Miss success,(successjohnson23@yahoo.com) How are you doing today and health over there?. My name is success,am a single girl,never marry.I went across your profile on (www.care2.com).I found intrest on you,i wish to know you more.if you can contact me direct with your email to my email address.(successjohnson23@yahoo.com)i promised to give you my pictures here from my email address.write me on this email id.(successjohnson23@yahoo.com)

4:27AM PDT on May 12, 2012

my mother is not perfect, but I'm not a perfect daughter...

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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