Changing the Victim Story
It’s all very well to say “Stop being the victim,” but what if you were abused? This thought-provoking author was herself the victim of such terrible sexual abuse as a child that it nearly killed her. See what she has to say about changing the victim story to find self-empowerment.
“I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, so I know full well the devastation that kind of betrayal can cause in a person’s life. From the time I was four months old until I was four years old, I was sexually abused so badly that it almost killed me.
“I had a particularly difficult time dealing with the effect it had on my self-esteem, and for many years I played the victim.
“I will be eternally grateful for a teacher who one day abruptly called me on my act. ‘In order to heal this childhood trauma, what you’ve got to do is create a new story about it,’ he told me. ‘Okay, here’s your new story. Try this one on and see if it works for you. You came onto this planet to be a woman of power. Your soul chose this pathway, and because you chose it, you also chose to take an initiation in the misuse of power at a very young age. During this initiation you learned what it feels like when power is misused, and it is horrible. Therefore, it is now safe for you to be woman of power in the world because you know now that you would never misuse nor abuse this power. And in this process, you have gained the most valuable of all spiritual gifts–the understanding heart.’
“My world reeled from this and cracked open a bit. It didn’t happen overnight, but little by little, one day at a time, I began to embrace this wonderful new story, a saga that completely reordered my personal history. It made me feel powerful rather than helpless, and it allowed me to give up the role of victim.
“It also brought to mind the coaching of another teacher who told me, ‘Never ask a “why” question. There are no absolute answers to why questions. But if you absolutely have to ask why, at least have the good sense to make up an answer that pleases you.’
“Reframing the abuse has helped me to achieve peace of mind, and that is a joy.”
Adapted from The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity, by Edwene Gaines (Rodale Press, 2005). Copyright (c) 2005 by Edwene Gaines. Reprinted by permission of Rodale Press.
Adapted from The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity, by Edwene Gaines (Rodale Press, 2005).