Hey Annie, This is Deborah D. Continueing....My father hurt many, many children. He lived to hurt people. I could not tell you the things that this man did to my brothers, to my sister and to me. I am 52yrs. old and I still live the nightmares over and over. I try not be a victim to my past and I am doing a lot better. I know that when I "CHOSE" to pick up the drugs that that was my choice and at that point I was choosing to be a victim thru action in killing myself slowly and letting him win.....but I just don't understand the logic that anyone, anywhere would choose to come onto this life and choose to live in torture. That was the life that my father put us children thru. He would duct tape us to the toilet for potty training (all night), poke and prod us with foriegn objects in private places, sell us out to his poker playing buddies....and you say that I choose to come into this????? Explain, PLEASE EXPLAIN! He fed the dog poison because my brother didn't feed it quick enough so he didn't feel that he needed the responsibility of a dog. He had only asked him to feed the dog 10 minutes earlier. It just wasn't fast enough for dad. Let me ask you....did the dog choose to come into this situation also????? Just sign me, maybe not a Victim - just still not whole and not coming back again!

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Hey Annie: I would love to have that book, "The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity" but I can barely get by on my disability check but I do have to comment on the article, "Changing The Victim Story" as I have heard the same thing about choosing the lives and the families,and yada, yada, yada that we have. I must say that I find that a hard pill to swallow. To make a long story short...both of my parents were addicts - my father sold 8mm films on the underground blackmarket of children having sex and he killed my twin sister, my best friend (she was 10yrs. old), he bluggened her father to death with a rubber mallot and my mother committed suicide when I was 11yrs. old. CPS came and took the rest of us kids out of that situation ( two boys , one sister and myself) and placed us in foster homes ( we all had lost our innocense to our father as well) and I lost track of my other sister & brother and one brother & I were adopted. I've had constant Interstatial Cystatis and Bladder Problems and Private surgeries to correct the damage my father did to me. My father got life in Prison. How did I fare?!? I did good for awhile. Went to College, became an E.M.T. but could never keep any friends or relationships so then I got addicted to drugs and landed 62 felonies, went to prison 5 times but I finally got clean and now have 9yrs. clean&sober! I have a hard time believing that I would have chosen the family that I was born into. My father was a sick, sick man. He did vile thi

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I agree with Tricia. We do choose our family. We come into this world with a lot of baggage from other lives. As long as we don't deal with it the same things will keep happening to us. Good and/or bad. It is very hard and sure, not easy to accept when someone tells you that the first time but over the last 10 years I have experienced it a lot. And I myself have had to deal with childhood sexual abuse. If you stay a victim it will keep happening.

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The idea that an innocent baby chose to be born into an abusive family in absolute crap. It is the abuser who made the choice, and the abuser will have to answer to God in eternity.

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wow. this is so profound. i think that ppl allow them selves to be mistreated because they, we ,are often in a hypnotic state. a trance like state, and arne't aware, and when we wake up we know exactly what to do, and the suffering dissipates.

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Abuse in my life was incomprehensible without God. now i understand through his divine grace that God has a plan for our lives and if we can see through the hurt and debilitating affects of the abuse and focus instead on the will that God had for us in that circumstance. In other words know that he willed this to happen even though it doesn't seem fair know that it was to strengthen you for his devine plan. By getting into a deep personal relationship with God a lot of my why questions have been answered and I waiver between forgiveness and unforgiveness.One day I will see a complete forgiveness and that I don't have to fix the relationships that didn't work or go back to those situations that hurt me. I am comforted that God remembers who i am and knows who he wants me to become through all the trials and tribulations on this earth. there is hope we are not beyond wholeness.Allow yourself to go through the brokeness in a supportive environment and the hardest thing I did was to allow people to show love and kindness to me and accept it as genuine, and learning to let go of the protective behaviours and rebuild boundaries.

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Melody, you say so clearly what I was stumbling to say -- if we say that we chose abuse, then we are to blame. The victims are not to blame. This is what has happened, particularly women. It's how you dressed, talked, walked, looked or a myriad other things. We make many choices, but so do others. The choices of others affect us, we live in a universe that reverberates energy. We, to heal, begin to send out the energy of healing, acceptance and courage.

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My studies have lead me to the position where I am in agreement with Tricia's comments. Briefly, in order to develop spiritually and move closer to God, we have free will to choose our life path and events prior to reincarnation. We choose our families, antagonists, protagonists and events to enable us to experience the lessons we choose. We also take on those roles to assist other souls in their journeys. One's reaction to an event or condition is part of the lesson. How one perceives an event on the physical plane may quite different from their perspective on the spiritual plane.

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Honestly, I don't know what to say or how to feel about this. I've heard Sylvia Browne state before that we choose our lives, but are we really that...are we truly that desperate to experience something that we'd go to God and ask him to put it on us even though we do have free will, which does make this scenario slightly more believable.
I for example am blind, have been legally blind since birth. I've had 63 reconstructive operations and was abused unrelentingly at the hands of classmates. In a world of sighted people, I have been told over and over again,
'"You are nothing! You will accomplish nothing!"'
So why would anyone choose that? I hate to word it this way, but was I really that stupid up in Heaven? Are any of us? As I say, I don't mean to pose it with the word stupid, but that's the only word that comes to mind.
I apologize for anyone who may take offense. I don't mean for anyone to.

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I agree with Jane. It is easy for us, as survivors, to say that the abuse was a choice, but what about those who did not survive? I think that it is correct to say that "this is my story, now what?" because it is not what heppens to you that defines who you are, it is how you react to it....

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