Christmas Quiz Contest

One evening last week, I was sitting on the old rocker,ádelicate, hand-knitted afghan (not my clumsy fingers, but somebody with talent and an eye forátasteful design) tucked over my denimedálap, wondering why somebody hasn’t invented marshmallows for diabetic cocoa, digging on the whole bein’ aáGranny thing, John Lennon quietly musingáin the background “…so this is Christmas…”;ákitty purring on one arthritic knee,ágrand daughter, Lexie, perched on the other.

Random flurries of snow passedáby ouráwindow, reflecting the glow from nearby holiday house lights; such a gentle, peaceful Hallmark moment, this genuine “Tender Tennessee Christmas” about which our friend and neighbor Amy Grant so beautifullyásings.

“This is so way cool,” I thought to myself.á”Wouldn’t this be just the perfect time to read LexieáChristmas in the Barn oráOlive the Orphan Reindeeráor maybe even Why the Chimes Rang.

Pulling out a dingy storybook from my own distant childhood and settling the bifocals firmly atop my nose, I shooed the cat down and cuddled Lexie closer. “There was once in a faraway country…”

That’s as far as I got before the Horrible Childeádemanded a very serious discussion about all this Christmas stuff she’s been seeing and hearing at her nursery school and while on play dates, a veritableápotpourri of religious and secular, apples and oranges, champagne and Koolaid.

“How come Santa lives in the North Pole, Nana? Who tells him who’s naughty or nice? Was Jesus ever naughty? What happens to kids who live in housesáwithout chimleys? If the three wise men wereáso smart, how come they had to follow a star to find baby Jesus? Didn’t they have a Tom-Tom? Why did they giveáa little babyágold and Frankenstein, and who was Merv? What if Jesus wanted a pony; could he write to Santa? Does Santa read all his mail? Nana, whatáhappens to kids like me who can’t spell too good? How come candy canes are red and green?áDid Mary really put a letter “M” on a kitty cat’s head ’cause it kept baby Jesus warm? What about kids who don’t know about Jesus? Why does egg nog taste like you forgot to cook the eggs? How come YOUR egg nog tastes different from mine, Nana?” the little girl babbled.

“Uh, Lexie, let’s go talk to your Mommy,” I replied, gulping back the rest of MY eggnog.áAmanda, bless her pagan little heart, wasn’t much help, especially since the definitive answers to her child’s queries weren’t exactly Google-able.á I did have an enlighteningátime checking out holidayáurban legends, folklore,ástoriesáand old wives’ tales at snopes.com -áWho knew people in Pennsylvania onceápelted poor St. Nick while booing the jolly, old elf? Did anyone know that cats are given the gift of speech for one brief second precisely at the stroke of midnight on Dec.25? And just wait ’til you take a gander at some of the synchronized music and light shows the Snopes folks will bring to your attention!

PLUS, they did give me an idea of how YOU, the endowered powerful, can get involved, provide some interesting, entertainingáand amusingáinput and maybe give us all something to think about. In return, the enthralled, youngest of the multi-generational Garey girls will selectáyour most evocative, creative and satisfying response as Grand Prize Winner, for which you will receive an original, one-of-a-kind,áobjet d’ art specifically created, framed, autographed and sent to your mailing address upon your approval. (Lexie is no Da Vinci, but she can give Jackson Pollock a run for his money – AND her codeádoesn’t require Dan Brown toádecipher.)

What are YOUR favoriteáholiday rumors,ástoriesáor folk tales? Have you put up for display,áwitnessed or discovered via YouTube a most amazingáyard lighting and/or musical decoration? Is there a children’s Christmas or winter festival video online that willámake the season extra merry for us all?áShare your thoughts – use as many 1500-character comment boxes as you need – and give us all the wonderful gift that keeps on giving – LAUGHTER!

And for EXTRA CREDIT, will somebody pul-leeze tell me how to decipher the following–it’s Lexie’s (paraphrased)átake on the whole slightly dysfunctional Santa Claus family situation:

“Santa and Mrs. No-First-Name Claus live at the North Pole witháa buncháof elves and reindeer, no discernible means of financial support or access toágroceries, electricity, cable television, computers, or other social contact. 364 days a year, the hefty, but happy, duo who never change their clothes,áand their vertically-challenged companions do nothing but make toys for well-behaved children, all of whomáMr. Clausápersonally supervises; in one 24-hour period, said Mr. Claus travels the globe deliveringánice stuffáto each good child whileábad kidságet coal or stones, but grown-ups have toábuy each other things they don’t even know they want;áSanta’s mode of transportation is a flyingásleigh drawn by the otherwise useless reindeer, including one with a red nose, but none of them have wings or motors.”

Wishing you all a helpful, happy,álaughing, lovingáholiday!

70 comments

Kamia T.
Kamia T1 years ago

My kids never did believe in Santa, but that didn't lessen the joy of the season. They always saw us doing the decorating and putting gifts under the tree. We still read all the traditional stories and poems, and they love Christmas to this day.

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Annie Flanders
annie Flanders5 years ago

thank you janet for having been the warm wonderful person that you were.

we miss you.

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Chris R.
Chris R5 years ago

Thanks!~

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Chris R.
Chris R5 years ago

Thanks!~

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Annie Flanders
annie Flanders5 years ago

it's been almost two years since dear janet left us.

please keep her stories alive. thank you.

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Sonny Honrado
Sonny Honrado5 years ago

I will still hang Santa's stuff doll this Christmas!

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Annie Flanders
annie Flanders6 years ago

blessings to all for keeping janet's stories alive here on care2.

she was a beautiflul spirit.

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Roxane Connor
Roxane Connor7 years ago

Santa is an acronym standing for
Secret
Alliance
of
Nocturnal
Toy
Allocators
It a co-op of ethnic gift bringers united to a growing .more diverse, and ever expanding population.Their talents combine to over come any obstacle that might come up, such as no chimneys and children who celebrate holidays other than Christmas.

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Judith Crofts
Judith C7 years ago

Nice story

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carole hagen
.7 years ago

Read this!

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