Clutter Clearing: Your Housemates May Hate Me

Instead of ownership, when you pay for something, think of it as the cost of renting that item until it no longer serves you. Then, you can release it back into the river of stuff that flows throughout our society. We get hung up on the permanence of our relationship with the stuff and it leaves us stuck. It’s time to release, release, release.

Have you ever bought a cool, shiny, new kitchen widget, used it three times, and then become bored with it? So, it sits there (being not nearly as sexy as it was the day you met it in the store). Perhaps you have a pair of shoes that you just had to have, but they hurt your feet and are now collecting dust in the back of your closet. Or maybe you have an ever-expanding collection of movies, music, or books that, if you were inclined to notice how much you actually use them, you’d realize most of them won’t be used again.

Why is it all still there? Most of the time, I’ve found that it’s because we’ve committed to this stuff — or so it appears — with our hard-earned dollars. We brought it in the house and, even if we now recognize that we wouldn’t bring it in again, we can’t bring ourselves to take it out.

That is one of the most oppressive illusions I find in the minds of my students and clients as they work to re-frame their relationship with stuff. Some people think it would be wasteful to give away (or sell at a second-hand price) something in which they “invested,” which would no be longer true if we thought of our investment as paying a borrower’s fee, as opposed to having made a life-long commitment.

Of course, there are others who believe the stuff they’ve accumulated somehow makes them better, more valuable. It’s simply not true. Nothing outside of you can make you more of anything worth being.

1 of 3

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Kathy P.

12:52PM PDT on Aug 17, 2012

Hello. My name is Kathy, and I am a yarn and craft supply hoarder

August 17
send a green star

Heather M.

11:45PM PDT on Jul 4, 2012

Good info thanks.

July 4
send a green star

Linda H.

7:31AM PDT on Jun 27, 2012

I still have a hard time with this. However, what I have been finding is I feel "richer" with less and happier knowing someone who needed something now has it. Honestly if you haven't used something in a year it's just a souvenir. Take a picture of it and give it to someone else to enjoy or just, gasp!, throw it away! Just don't keep buying things unless you really need it and try to borrow it first.

June 27
send a green star

Khawaja M.

12:56AM PDT on Jun 19, 2012

Awesome post. I love your thoughts

June 19
send a green star

Harriet S.

6:51PM PDT on Jun 18, 2012

Great article, Christy!

June 18
send a green star

Piper W.

1:43PM PDT on Jun 17, 2012

Thanks Vero G., I appreciate you taking the time to answer my question. I like hearing things I may not have thought about presented in a informative way. :)

June 17
send a green star

Loo S.

10:21PM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

noted

June 15
send a green star

Brenda T.

10:18AM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

I love the sense of release when I de-clutter.

Joanna M.

8:19AM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

One of the best things about my condo, IMO, is the fact that I have neither a basement nor an attic. This means I have to store everything that's not used everyday within the actual living space...which in turn means I really have to give serious thought to what I really and truly need or want. It's been a good life lesson.

Tia P.

5:50AM PDT on Jun 15, 2012

Love It! I have a Hoarder Neighbor! My apartments are really peaceful, and vintage. I love it! The serenity of the atmosphere here! However, we have an apartment, hoarder, neighbor, that makes the apartments look tacky and junky!! Like a mini, "Sanford & Sons"!!! I've complained but she's friends with the owners leasing agent and has lived here for years. She even pays rent when she has it or doesn't have it, but i must pay on time. Plastic flowers, planted up front of the apartment! Along with an indoor, full size mirror, outside for what ever reason???? Everytime someone dumps their old furniture at the trash dumpster, she goes picks it up, places it on the side of the apartment building as her own or in her apartment!! Disgusting!! She even decided to use the entire back yard of the apartments as her own personal garden and storage area! She barracaded it off with wood and no one was allowed to use it but her!!! OMG! I lost IT!!! Great story here! Noted...agreed!