Through the mirror of relationship–all relationships–we discover extended states of awareness. Those whom we love and those whom we are repelled by are both mirrors of ourselves. Whom are we attracted to? People who have the same traits as we have, but more so. We want to be in their company because subconsciously we feel that by doing so we, too, might manifest more of those traits as well.
By the same token we are repelled by people who reflect back to us traits that we deny in our own selves. So if you are having a strong negative reaction to someone, you can be sure that they possess some traits in common with you, traits that you are not willing to embrace. If you were willing to accept those qualities, then they wouldn’t upset you.
By recognizing that we can see ourselves in others, every relationship becomes a tool for the evolution of our consciousness. And as consciousness evolves, we experience expanded states of awareness. It is in those expanded states of awareness, when we get to the nonlocal domain, that we can experience synchrodestiny.
The next time you’re attracted to someone, ask yourself what attracted you. Is it beauty, or grace, or elegance, or influence, or power, or intelligence? Whatever it is, know that that quality is also blossoming in you. Pay attention to these feelings, and you can begin the process of becoming more fully yourself.
Of course, the same is true of people who repel you. In becoming more fully your true self, you have to understand and embrace the less attractive qualities in yourself.
The essential nature of the universe is the coexistence of opposite values. You cannot be brave if you do not have a coward inside you. You cannot be generous if you do not have a tight-fisted person inside you. You cannot be virtuous unless you also contain the capacity for evil.
Adapted from The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press).