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Dealing with Other People’s Clutter

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Dealing with Other People’s Clutter

I am often asked by my clients what they should do with other people’s clutter. They may be committed to keeping only what they love, need and use on a regular basis, but their spouse, children, siblings and friends may be clutter accumulators. They are constantly having to deal with other people’s clutter, or having them use their home as a storage unit. I asked Karen Kingston, author of the best-selling book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui if she would share her recent article on this with my Care2 friends.

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Karen: We’ve all heard of empty nest syndrome that some parents experience when their children grow up and leave home. But in many cases, cluttered nest syndrome would be a more exact description, because the children leave home but often their stuff does not.

The process is usually a gradual one. Maybe the adult child goes to college or university for a few years, goes traveling for a while, or moves somewhere to look for work. They generally do not want to take their childhood stuff with them, or have any place to put it if they did. The parents may also not feel ready to completely let them go, so are content for them to leave most of their things at home for a while.

But weeks turn to months, and months turn to years, and still the stuff remains. Even if the child returns home to visit from time to time, for most of the year their stuff remains untouched, gathering dust and stagnating the energy of the parental home. When I visit such a house, I can tell just by walking around and seeing where the children’s clutter is located, which aspects of the Feng Shui Bagua of the home are affected, and which corresponding aspects of the parent’s lives are in limbo because of it.

In one extreme case I saw recently, a single mother of three children was living in a three-bedroom home full to the brim with her adult children’s belongings, with no bedroom of her own to sleep in at all. She had moved into her son’s room, where half the floor area was already covered with bags full of his possessions, and had piled her own things on top. She couldn’t even get to the wardrobe to use it. If all three children came to visit at Christmas, as they usually did, she would move out to sleep in a caravan in the garden. None of the children had established a permanent home of their own so she continued to muddle by, with her own life on hold until theirs took shape. Not only that, but the most cluttered room was in the Relationships corner of the house, so it was no surprise to discover that she has no partner and very few friends.

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Erica Sofrina

Erica Sofrina is an Internationally recognized Speaker and Teacher and Author of the book Small Changes, Dynamic Results! Feng Shui for the Western World. She is also a life coach and motivational speaker and is the founder of the West Coast Academy of Feng Shui. She has run a successful business as a Professional Organizer, Interior Designer and Certified Feng Shui Consultant for over a decade and resides on the charming coastal town of Half Moon Bay in Northern California. Find out more at www.ericasofrina.com.

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Small Changes, Dynamic Results! Feng Shui for the Western World

By Erica Sofrina A Simple Guide to Feng Shui for our Western Lifestylesbuy now

41 comments

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10:13AM PDT on Jul 24, 2013

Karen Kingston and Erica Sofrina have some wonderful ideas. I get Karen's email newsletter.

10:11AM PDT on Jul 24, 2013

Sounds great, after a reasonable amount of time they need to find room or take responsibility. Although our children were always very neat growing up there were things they wanted to keep, once they find a place of their own it needs to go and most of it has. There are a few things in the basement that belongs to them and when we move they will have to take it or it will have to go!

8:34AM PST on Feb 8, 2013

Call me old-fashioned and just too sentimental, but I see treasure where some people see trash.

My grandma probably kept every postcard that was part of her courtship and early marriage with my grandpa. I'm sixty now and have always enjoyed reading their words and looking at those cute, little postcards.

My grandma passed away almost ten years before I was born, and my grandpa passed away on my first full day of first grade (August 31, 1959).

When grandma was in the hospital, she used to write the sweetest letters home to her husband and kids talking about how good they were to her at the hospital and how wonderful the food was.

Although hospital food is now scrumptious, it certainly wasn't back in 1943, but Grandma liked it. Perhaps, part of why she liked it was that she didn't have to go through everything she had to go through to fix it herself and felt as if she were being pampered.

Aunt Kate (who was around 12 when she got this letter from a family friend and shirttail cousin who had gone off to war) had found out that Roy Acuff had been drafted, and Rufus wrote that Roy was on his ship and that he and the other sailors were about to make him walk the plank.

I have my own sentimental items as well--such as a shower of pictures made for me by a class of students with special needs when they thought their teacher was going to fire me (I was a cadet teacher) for managing to drop and break the wall clock.

Two of those students passed on many years ago.

6:48AM PST on Nov 10, 2012

Good share!

2:58PM PDT on Oct 28, 2012

i like the first idea.

5:06PM PDT on Oct 24, 2012

Thanks

9:50PM PDT on Oct 23, 2012

Take action. Other people need to deal with their stuff.

8:27AM PDT on Oct 23, 2012

thanks for sharing

2:01AM PDT on Oct 23, 2012

ty

8:43PM PDT on Oct 22, 2012

great tips!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Pamplemousse: Je t'aime!

Thanks for sharing.

I have the forgiving part down it is the forgetting that is difficult!

Good to know.

Good tips. TY Did not know about drinking water in the morning.

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