Dependency and Denial

In every crisis, suffering can be alleviated at the energy level. But you donít have to assume the whole burden yourself. To access deeper, more stubborn energy, ask for guidance. For some people, the presence of spiritual guides such as angels, masters, saints, deities, boddhisatvas, and deceased loved ones brings reassurance and help.

Intend that helpers come to you in any form and at any time. Then remain alert and follow the hints that spirit gives you. You are being heard. Your soul is able to guide you to any help that you need. Ultimately, no matter who responds to you, it is your own true self responding.

As long as you look the other way, illusion persists, so you must pay attention. Do this by sitting quietly and with firm but gentle resolve ask for your true feelings to come forward. Be with any source of pain in your body. Feel it directly, no matter where it is. Now ask the pain of every kind to gather in your heart. As it gathers, ask each aspect of suffering to name itself. Be as specific as possible.

Having defined specifically the exact emotion you are experiencing, whether it is fear, anger, guilt, or depression, express the origins of this feeling to yourself through writing or journaling. Be careful not to use the language of victimization. Once you have completed this task, share these feelings with someone you can trust.

Next you may release them through a ritual of your own devising–such as dancing, or burning the papers on which you have written down your experiences. Finally, celebrate the release of this blocked energy. Instead of denying your suffering, which only prolongs it, now you have defined, expressed, shared, released, and celebrated it–and moved on.

Adapted from The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2001).

Love This? Never Miss Another Story.


Tori W.
Past Member 5 years ago

When we keep doing what we've always done, we will keep getting what we have always gotten, including when we deny our feelings. Our feelings are unique to us and yet shared by so many others. Denial of our feelings is not healthy, so whatever works to help one reach these feelings, name them and deal with them, I'm for it.

Mike Masley
Michael Masley5 years ago

It works for me, I turned my addictions over to a force greater than myself realizing the addictions had already beaten my ego - so I walked away from the addiction with a - "you win". Haven't looked back.

Debbie W.
Past Member 5 years ago

This MIGHT WORK, but only when in our fast-paced, speeded-up world, quiet time can be found AND put to use OR when one is tired of continuing along the present path, following the lead of the trouble itself so that blame not responsibility can be levied at others. Agree or disagree?

Kay L.
KayL NOFORWARDS5 years ago

Uh... at any point in this article, did it address the topic of "Dependency and Denial"? I read it three times and couldn't find anything to do with the subject line.

Ana Sonata
Ana S.5 years ago

Whenever I'm stuck somehow, I get

Philippa P.
Philippa P.5 years ago


heather g.
heather g.5 years ago

When I listen to others who take on a victim-role I try and jokingly help them to see what is happening. Being an immigrant to Canada, I've been there before. For years I was too shocked at what was said to me, to stand up for myself. Now I understand that behaviour better - as it is their bias and unhappiness - nothing to do with you ! I'm healed from the barbs of small-minded people......

Marilyn L.
Marilyn L.5 years ago

Thank you for the article.

Max Overton
Max Overton5 years ago

You hit the nail on the head, Deepak ... Illusion!

Hmm... Deepak + illusion = Delusion

Loo Samantha
Loo sam5 years ago

thanks for the interesting post.