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Ditch The Diets & Own Your Desires

Ditch The Diets & Own Your Desires

I am so sick of diets. And I don’t mean just food restriction diets. There are so many different kinds of diets. There are financial diets (we call them budgets). There are sexual diets (often we are put on these by partners who cannot meet us erotically, or by our own stubbornness in not being willing to get to know our own bodies and feed ourselves).

There are emotional diets (where we settle for “emotional crumbs” given out by friends, lovers and ourselves when love is parceled out in tiny bits and pieces – often just enough for us to “stay in”) and then there are food diets where we restrict according to the latest information about how to be oh so beautiful.

I could go on and on – because I have been on every diet known to mankind. And if I wasn’t on a diet, I was numbing my desire out with food addiction or shopping.  Anything not to feel the absolute need in my body for things that I felt was not for me, or just out of reach. And then I had to stop the addiction, because there was no choice. My eating disorder had to go, and in it’s place came lots and lots of big powerful feelings.

What we are really doing is numbing our lives out. Instead of feeling our true feelings.  We can get out of this cycle and live full, delicious, and sexy lives. we can actually be reborn as fully alive, erotic creatures again.

No matter how far we are into this journey – it is always a process. I believe if you think you have “arrived” with no more work to do – then you have probably have gone back to numbing again in some way. We are always growing and changing – we are always in some stage of growing into and out of our skin.

The good news is that there are plateaus of coming home to yourself where you just get to roll around in the sheer joy of it all. And sometimes the process of getting back truly into our bodies is full of incredible pleasure and unbounded playful self discovery.

I would love to invite you to take a minute and be still. Allow yourself to feel the hunger of desire in your beautiful body and then close your eyes and ask yourself two questions:

1. What do you want?

2. What is getting in your way?

Write down your responses. These are deep soul questions. And then look at the “diets” you have put yourself on. Are you ready to eat?

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Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is an Integrative Life Coach Specializing In Women's Issues: Sexuality, Fertility, Body Image, Wellness and Rejuvenation. Pamela is also author of the best selling memoir Shameless (Rodale, Jan 2011), and founder of The American Fertility Association.Her websites and her daily blog,, are a breakfast essential for reporters, writers and policymakers.


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12:28PM PDT on Aug 1, 2013

"Write down your responses. These are deep soul questions. And then look at the “diets” you have put yourself on. Are you ready to eat?"

I like that statement from above in the article.

For me i think people should stop using the word diet for anything. I think It's a constricting word and makes you feel deprived.

Thanks for the article!

9:04AM PDT on Jun 16, 2013


4:18AM PDT on May 31, 2013

Thank you :)

3:58AM PDT on May 21, 2013


3:57AM PDT on May 21, 2013

Great article!

9:04PM PDT on May 19, 2013

Thank you

8:15PM PDT on May 16, 2013

Something to think of...

7:52PM PDT on May 5, 2013

Thank you, Julie W. That is a point that I often try to make. We should accept ourselves first and then worry about reshaping our bodies.

12:08PM PDT on Apr 25, 2013

I agree with Julie W. 100%.
Thanks for the article Pamela.

5:47AM PDT on Apr 25, 2013

We also have to think about "what we're given"

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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