Do Apples Need to be So Crazy?

So the Mayan Apocalypse came and went, and now we have to clean up the mess we thought we were leaving for the fire and brimstone to sweep away. Where shall we start? The shameful state of our ecosystem? Our budgetary missteps? Or maybe just cleaning up reality television once and for all? Maybe we should start simple with something called Crazy Apples? No, this is not a distant cousin to those rumored razorblade laced apples handed out to unsuspecting trick-or-treaters in the 1970s. Instead these are regular old apples with a little bit of craziness added in the form of “tropical blast,” “pomegranate grape” and “bubble gum” flavoring. Yes, for cynical minded children, apples are not quite appealing enough on their own, so they need to be doctored to taste a bit like junk food. The business-minded creators of the “Crazy Apples” call them “magic” as they are loathe to reveal their secret recipe or ingredients (only to say they have no added sugars or preservatives, and are made with “natural ingredients”), whereas I just call them “Crapples” for short.

Sure, maybe I am being a bit unfair grabbing for such low hanging fruit (forgive the pun) but one can’t help feeling that there exists very few limits in the collective dumbing down of consumer culture, and with so much of it starting with our children. To be sure, the “Crapple” people didn’t exactly originate the concept of flavoring apples and marketing them. That honor goes to the Gr apple people who, a few years back, came up with a remarkably similar grape-flavored apple that was achieved by dunking apples in a grape-flavored bath. The apples, through their permeable skin, absorbed the flavor within the flesh of the fruit. Presumably this is, more or less, how the “Crapple” people achieve the same result.

Is it not enough that many, if not most, apples are consumed in sliced Crunch-Pak form? Do we really need to cheapen the apple eating experience with bubble gum flavor? Isn’t a ripe Fuji or Cameo apple enough of a pleasure?


mitchell dawes
mitchell dawes3 years ago

I think the creator was trying to get kids to eat healthy foods, however in the process has made them less so. There is a good intention behind this, but he/she doesn't know that much about healthy eating.

Mariah Wilson
Mariah Wilson3 years ago

I wanna try these!

Dave C.
David C.3 years ago

I don't like fruit in plastic either....

Dagmar Breg
Past Member 3 years ago

If you want apples eat apples. If you want grapes, eat grapes. I've seen these at the store and they are overpriced anyway.

Chrissie H.
Chrissie H.3 years ago

I don't understand why anyone would want apples that taste of something different.Whats wrong with apple flavoured apples?

Megan Martin
Megan Martin3 years ago

Saw these and my first thought was 'REALLY?'....

Stella Gamboni
Stella Gamboni3 years ago

I was kinda hoping for "bourbon" or "cognac" flavors...

Stella Gamboni
Stella Gamboni3 years ago

...or perhaps "Martini Green Apple"?

Roger M.
Past Member 3 years ago


Angela Roquemore
Angela Roquemore3 years ago

I'm not a "cynical minded kid" so I don't need this c**p in or on my apples.