Do “Me” and “Not Me” Peacefully Coexist?

Ordinary life does not provide much experience of this state of experiencing what it means to abolish all the divisions that keep people apart. We are conditioned never to forget that “me” and “not me” are different, with one notable exception: falling in love.

To fall head over heals in love is to share your self with another. The ego’s barriers fall for a time, and the lover and his beloved agree that they have merged into one identity. For as long as the enchantment lasts, one feels the other’s emotions, breathes the other’s breath. There is an invincible sense of union that makes being alone too painful to endure.

In our culture, we tend to dismiss this union as a passing psychological illusion and probably unhealthy if prolonged much beyond the first flush of courtship. The yogis, however, would say that there is no reason why a person cannot have two perspectives on himself, one local (the self) and the other universal (the Self).

A yogi adopts both perspectives at once. He has stabilized his awareness of the Self without losing the self. An intense feeling of love accompanies this new state, but unlike falling in love, the yogi’s merging does not depend upon another person, even a beloved. He merges with everything, including it all in his Self. Once he can see everything as part of his identity, there is no isolated “me “ to defend. Love is all that remains.

A person living in the Self feels intimately connected to others, not because he is skillful at the usual give-and-take of a good relationship, but because he gives everything of himself. He holds nothing back, and therefore he flows effortlessly beyond the boundaries of his isolated self. Could this be our natural state?

Adapted from Unconditional Life: Discovering the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra (A Bantam Book, 1991).

39 comments

criss S.
criss s.4 years ago

Thank you for the article.

heather g.
heather g.4 years ago

It sounds a lot like living with an open heart and being at peace with the world. I seem to manage that most of the time, but it's difficult when bull-dozers appear out of nowhere and upset the applecart....

Loo Samantha
Loo sam4 years ago

thanks for sharing.

Claire C.
Claire Chambers4 years ago

Love yourself, put God first, be constantly grateful because anyone's life could always get so much worse, and if there are things about yourself that you don't like, work on changing them with God's help. Just ask for it with sincerity.

irene fernandez
irene Fernandez4 years ago

Thank you

Jon Hoy
Jonjon Hoy4 years ago

I'm not perfect, but putting God first in everything I do makes the difference of ones life.

Jon Hoy
Jonjon Hoy4 years ago

I always put God first in everything. All else comes second. I even put God in charge of my finances. Sure, we work for it but in the long run it belongs to God cause He is our provider. God giveth and he can surely taketh as fast as he gave it to us.

Rosie Lopez
Rosie Lopez4 years ago

thank you!

Dot Alexander
Dot A.4 years ago

You make it all sound so romantic! And I believe it actually is!!! This love you explain as the couples altered state of mind is what I believe loving by spirit (from our core-self) actually does, it strengthens our connection with the centre of our extended selves which live beyond the obvious. However, when 'in love' the senses seem heightened beyond the normal range. Colors, aromas, textures, even the air we breath is experienced as extra potent, even 'heavenly' if I may used this romantic description that lovers often feel.

Spirituality is akin to this heightened sense of living, and the desire to stay intune with the 'otherness' of our being is naturally reinforced by the mere process of cherishing our good feelings and helping those feelings grow. Certainly our world gives us all an awful lot to manage, as the physical manifestation requires more than just a spiritual awareness. We are learning. We are naturally drawn to the benefits of love. The spirit and the physical are enhanced by all energies which are experienced as LOVE.

Danny M.
Danny M.4 years ago

Thanks!