Dr. Lissa Rankin answers medical questions based on her book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, which you can preorder here. If you have a question you’d like Dr. Lissa Rankin to answer in her blog, please join the What’s Up Down There posse in our Owning Pink community, or contact Owning Pink.
Q: My husband and I were making love the other night, and I was on top, trying to achieve a G-spot orgasm. (I saw a daytime talk show where a sex expert mentioned that some women find it incredible, so we thought we’d give it a go). Well, when I climaxed, my husband said he felt a rush of wetness. He said it actually added to his pleasure, but it worries me. Is this normal?
Yes. You’re perfectly normal. Chances are that you’ve just experienced the elusive and controversial female ejaculation some women experience during stimulation of the G spot, a silver dollar sized patch of tissue on the front wall of the vagina. Because of its location near the paraurethral ducts, which lie right around the urethra, G spot stimulation can make you feel like you need to pee. Usually, you can overcome this urge, especially if you empty your bladder before sex. However, in the release of orgasm, some women may leak urine, which is a perfectly normal response and nothing to worry about.
While many doctors ascribe to the notion that any fluid released during orgasm is urine, my patients have convinced me — and noted sex researcher Dr. Beverly Whipple, who famously named the G-spot agrees – that the fluid expelled by some women may be its own kind of ejaculate, something other than urine. Studies of female ejaculate show that the fluid released contains glucose, fructose, prostatic acid phosphatase, and PSA, substances not normally present in urine. According to Dr. Whipple, female ejaculate resembles fat-free milk, tastes sweet, and rarely exceeds a teaspoon in volume. Which means that if you’re soaking the bed with cups of fluid, you’re probably leaking urine.
Either way, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed. If you and your partner are enjoying it, let go, don’t worry, grab a towel, and surrender to the experience. If you’re so busy freaking out about urine (which is a normal, sterile body fluid, cleaner than any other sexual fluid), you’ll miss out on the whole point of orgasm – pleasure. If guys can squirt fluid when they climax and not feel self-conscious about it, so can you! If the fluid you release is a smaller amount, more akin to what a man releases during orgasm, you may indeed be one of the lucky ones who ejaculate.
If you don’t ejaculate, like most women, you’re perfectly normal too. (I can relate. I’ve never enjoyed this particular pleasure.) Sure, you can experiment with G-spot stimulation to see if you enjoy it and find out what happens. But don’t strive so hard to achieve some unattainable sexual goal that you forget to enjoy the ecstasy of the present moment. Each of our bodies is unique and perfect, just the way it is.