Contrary to popular belief, soulmate couples do not usually recognize each other at first glance. The person who attracts our ego is seldom the one our soul deeply desires to be with, and our soulmate is often the person who looks all wrong to our ego.

What does a soulmate relationship mean, and how do you find yours? Here are 21 guidelines for understanding how to listen to your soul’s seeking of the one who is just right for you:

Guidelines for Actualizing a Soulmate Relationship

1. Stop focusing on your partner’s faults, and start asking that your own be revealed to you.
2. Learn to listen for the voice of your guide in meditation.
3. Be willing to face the truth, even if it seems terribly embarrassing or disappointing.
4. Gracefully release relationships that are no longer fulfilling.
5. Face your mistakes with compassion and take the necessary steps to correct them.
6. Consider the possibility that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.
7. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts to find true love have not worked in the past. A new approach may produce results beyond your wildest expectations!
8. Stop listening to your ego, and start listening to your soul and your guide.
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you really want.
10. Don’t hold out for perfect certainty before being willing to move forward with your relationship.
11. Focus on one relationship at a time, giving your partner every opportunity to respond as you hope she or he will.
12. Look elsewhere if your present partner doesn’t want to share the kind of relationship you have in mind.
13. Your soulmate won’t necessarily share your background, or look the way you expect.
14. Your guide may bring you together with your soulmate repeatedly, but it’s up to you to decide whether to accept the introduction and pursue the acquaintance.
15. If your guide encourages hope, wait patiently to let the true possibilities of a relationship emerge in their own good time.
16. The people who make you swoon may be precisely the ones you would be best to avoid.
17. It’s wise to proceed cautiously when you are blinded by infatuation.
18. True love is never blind.
19. Don’t be so sure you can tell someone’s soulmate potential at a glance.
20. Take periodic vacations from your ego’s thoughts, in order to contact your soul’s feelings.
21. Relax! You’ll meet your soulmate when the time is right for both of you.
22. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!