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Free Your Child’s Fears


Write a healing story

Anyone can write a healing story. Here’s how.

1. What is the problem? Is your child afraid to read aloud in front of the class? Is she scared that other children won’t like her? Does she feel inferior because she can’t get the math homework?
2. What does your child admire? Which heroes does he most identify with? Which stuffed animals does she like best? Which television programs? What would he like to achieve? Which are her favorite sports or activities? What are his special character traits?
3. Choose a character and a context for the story. Choose a world in which your child will be able to enjoy herself. Princes, planets, animals or insects can be good options. Decide which animal or stuffed animal will be the main character and symbolize your child.
4. Think up a beginning to the story in which the main character has lots of fun adventures, but also has problems that are similar to your child’s symptoms. The character should not be sick, only have a problem.
5. Then imagine an ending whereby the main character has got to where he or she wanted to be: stronger, smarter, symptom-free, able to eat what he or she wants, etc.
6. Make up a journey the main character will take to get there. It’s always handy if someone, another hero from your child’s world, gives the character good advice. For example, a wise woman, magician or old owl tells the main character that she has all kinds of helpers in her tummy that keep her healthy. One of them meant no harm but accidentally caused the symptoms. That helpers or allies will now help get rid of the symptoms, so that her stomach will get strong and completely heal. Your tummy used to get sick from X, but it’s become strong enough and will be able to handle it from now on. In the story, the main character thus learns to do things it once could not but now can.
More information: www.paulliekens.be.

Spetter’s party

As an example we’ve included part of a healing story written for a girl suffering from a fear of failure who loves dolphins. Result: after just one story she had more confidence while playing basketball. She started running forward more often and dared to ask for the ball, and other kids began passing to her. In school, her scores for spelling and math improved, everything started to get easier and she started to enjoy life more.

It looked like it would be a warm day. It was eight o’clock in the morning and Spetter lay enjoying his cozy water bed in the salty, warm water. Soon Mum would come to wake him. Spetter thought of the fun things he would do at school today. The school party was in a couple of days and today they were going to practice hard for the big dolphin show.

Spetter’s mother interrupted his nice morning dreams with an equally nice surprise: “Spetter, Spetter, get up! Come look. I have yummy fresh sardines for you.”

Spetter sprang out of his bed and swam to his mother who dished him up a delicious breakfast. “Oh, Mum, I’m such a lucky dolphin. First a tasty breakfast, and later at school I get to practice for Sunday’s big dolphin show. Do you think I’ll be able to do all the routines at the school party?” Spetter asked somewhat hesitantly.

“Of course you will, sweetheart, there is no doubt you can do it or they wouldn’t have chosen you to be in the show. They might not have picked you in the past, but now that you’re taller, bigger and stronger, of course everyone wants you to join in.”

Spetter felt his strong muscles relax under his smooth skin. He was very pleased with himself.

“Come on young man, it’s time you went to school.”

It was already pretty crowded at school. All the dolphin children were working to prepare for the party. Spetter went directly to the sea hall where the big dolphin show would be held. The teacher asked who wanted to demonstrate the first party dive. All the dolphins raised their tails high. They all wanted to show how well they could dive. Spetter suddenly felt short of breath. He had done the dive at least 100 times, but he suddenly couldn’t remember how to do it. He felt absolutely miserable, his heart was pounding in his throat. Timidly, he glanced to one side. Could his friends hear how fast his heart was beating? He didn’t want to lose face, so he put his tail up too. He just hoped the teacher wouldn’t pick him. No such luck. From the 15 raised tails she chose him. “Ok Spetter, come show us how it’s done. You can do that dive beautifully. It would help if everyone saw how you do it.”

Spetter didn’t know what had come over him. What should he do now? Suddenly, he took a courageous decision: “I’ll just say I don’t remember. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m here to learn.” Just when he was about to open his mouth he felt all the tension flow out of his body, replaced by a surge of great inner strength. This strength rewarded him for his honesty. It was as if the strength wanted to say: “Whatever you do is just fine. But do it for yourself and don’t worry about what anyone else says about you.”

“Hey Spetter, stop daydreaming, we’re waiting for your perfect dive!”

Spetter smiled. He hadn’t dived yet, but he already felt like a winner. He had discovered the source of his own strength deep within himself. No one could take this away from him. Full of renewed courage and convinced he would pull it off, Spetter plunged into the water. It was his most beautiful dive ever.

“Hurrah Spetter! Hurrah Spetter!” his friends cried. Spetter was happy. But it had little to do with the dive. He had just been himself and didn’t care what others thought of him. He was proud of himself! For Spetter, the party had begun today!

Adapted with permission from “Helende verhalen voor kinderen” (Healing Stories for Children), Paul Liekens and Ann Delnoy (Ankh-Hermes, ISBN 90 202 6040 5), a book – only in Dutch available – with “metaphors for children with allergic reactions, over-sensitivities or fears”.

Ode, the magazine for Intelligent Optimists, is an international independent journal that publishes positive news, about the people and ideas that are changing our world for the better. Click here for your FREE issue.

Read more: Children, Family, , ,

By Tijn Touber, Ode Magazine

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Megan, selected from The Intelligent Optimist

Ode, the magazine for Intelligent Optimists, is an international independent journal that publishes positive news, about the people and ideas that are changing our world for the better.

9 comments

+ add your own
10:19PM PST on Nov 3, 2009

It was a very nice idea! Just wanna say thank you for the information you have shared. Just continue writing this kind of post. I will be your loyal reader. Thanks again.


vitamin a

1:49AM PST on Nov 2, 2009

Nicole,

We are never too old for stories. Why do you think books and movies are so popular? Who doesn't love to tell stories around a campfire?

Learning can be and is an enjoyable experience. As it should be.

12:41PM PST on Nov 1, 2009

Nicole, humans at any age relate to stories, myths, songs, theater, poetry. Symbol and metaphor are the language of the subconscious mind. Popular culture is full of it. These stories show up in the news, TV, movies, song lyrics, urban myths, the stories kids tell each other, etc. Whether it's "octo-mom", "the balloon boy", "the Bernie Maddock ponzi scam", a politician's fall from grace, or a celebrity's bad-boy or bad-girl behavior, these stories all have archetypal resonance in the subconscious, whether we are aware of it or not. Just use the particular elements or symbols that would interest your ten-year-old.

11:51AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

I'm a kinesiologist and I help my and other children with the
Health Kinesiology. They got in balance and haven' t so much fear and they sleep better.

10:42AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

What about older children? My son is afraid of having nightmares; he's 10 years old so he's a little too old for fairy tales but still too young for the adult technique of looking back at yourself. I'm still struggling to find ways to help him.

6:52AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

I have used techniques similar (but not the same) when my children were young, and they do work on some stuff. Some things they just have to outgrow.

3:33AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

We learn from adults who really care :) thanks for making the difference because it's the difference that demonstrates care. I do same with my children - we learn together.

3:33AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

We learn from adults who really care :) thanks for making the difference because it's the difference that demonstrates care. I do same with my children - we learn together.

3:07AM PST on Nov 1, 2009

We learn from stories.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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