Free Yourself from Victimhood – Book Giveaway!

We are giving away a copy of Love Has Wings: Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs and Fall in Love with Life by Care2 blogger Isha Judd. Check out this excerpt and then don’t forget to leave a comment for your chance to win the book!


An Excerpt from Love Has Wings by Isha Judd

The circumstances that have shaped each of our lives are as unique and individual as our personalities — no two people’s are the same. Yet our ability to grow as individuals, to evolve into more compassionate, loving, and conscious people, depends not on what has happened to us but on our attitude toward these situations. When faced with hardship, do we lie down or step up? Do we resist, or embrace the situation for growth?

Ultimately there are two attitudes we can take in life: the attitude of a victim and that of a creator.

The victim cannot see beauty, abundance, or the inherent perfection of each moment because he has an idea of how things should be, an idea that has inevitably been violated, an idea that is at odds with what is. This sense of dissonance breeds anger — anger toward life, toward god — but it manifests in the victim as a passive, depressive heaviness, inertia, and seeming disinterest, appearing more like sadness than anger. Ultimately, it represents hatred of self, violence toward self. It is the ultimate rejection of what is: violence toward life.

The only way to break this pattern of victimization is by taking the role of the creator. Creators praise their creations; victims criticize. Creators live in appreciation; victims, in complaint, not taking responsibility. These are total opposites. Creators embrace whatever comes their way. They respond to everything with a yes, which enables them to live life in abundance. Victims, on the other hand, are resentful and negative. They cannot see life’s inherent perfection or beauty, because they have a rigid idea of how things should look. Shrouded in a cloak of seething passivity, this is the ultimate rage: it is the rejection of existence, the denial of what is.

Whenever I look at my life with a no, with a different idea of how things should be, I am rejecting life. Because I cannot control the game, I will not play. I cannot understand, so I will not accept. Such is the obsessive extremism of a fearful intellect; its complications suck all the joy out of life. Consciousness lives in the union of the heart. When you live from the heart, there are no questions. When you are the absolute, thedesperate need to understand disappears; it is engulfed by the pregnant joy of pure being. The heart wants for nothing more when it has found love.

How do I transform myself from a victim into a creator? By focusing on love-consciousness, on the silent depths that lie within us all, until I become the mind without thought. Why? There is no why. It just is. When you notice yourself resisting what is — thinking, something could be better in this moment or something is unjust — let go. Remember that when you flow, when you surrender, you are being god. When you are fighting, you’re being a resentful child who won’t take responsibility. Nothing could ever be better in this moment, nothing is unjust, because god is everything; you are god within everything; god is joy; and it’s all your creation.

Freeing Yourself from Victimhood

Please understand I am not suggesting you intellectually convince yourself that you are not a victim. On the contrary, if you feel like a victim in any aspect of your life, allow yourself to feel it. Embrace your inner victim. Love your inner victim. You will not become free of it by rejecting or judging it. Feel the emotions your feeling of victimhood provokes: sadness, anger, resentment. Scream into a pillow. Cry. Beat on a mattress. Do whatever comes naturally. Embrace your inner victim, and you will soon learn to see through it. As you release these accumulated emotions, the attitude of the victim will lose its charge and soon disappear.

Releasing the Blame

Ultimately, being a creator means taking responsibility for your life. The victim sees responsibility as an uncomfortable concept, a chore: it is much easier to blame someone else for my discontent. Yet in reality it is not easier: it simply takes the decision to stop suffering out of your hands. Until you take responsibility for your own happiness, you are a slave of your surroundings. When you finally do, you find true freedom.

We usually think freedom means being allowed to do what we want and go where we choose. Yet this definition of freedom overlooks the fact that the person who controls and judges you the most is you. True freedom is not something that can be granted or taken away by another: only we have that power over ourselves.

Freedom is self-acceptance. It is allowing ourselves to be, letting go of the desperate need for approval that makes us adopt uncomfortable social norms in order to fit in. External approval will never be enough as long as we continue craving it, and this is true because of one simple truth: we do not approve of ourselves. Because of this, we try to get others to do it for us. But trying to substitute external approval for self-love is like turning up the television to drown out the cries of a baby — a distraction that does nothing to help the situation.

True freedom is freedom from victimhood. It is about taking responsibility for who you are, embracing who you are, and trusting in your own inner voice.


Isha Judd is the author of Love Has Wings and Why Walk When You Can Fly. She travels the globe teaching a simple, yet powerful system that shows how to find the state of mind she calls “love-consciousness,” where every moment of life — even the most challenging and frustrating — can be filled with love, joy, peace, and self-acceptance. Visit her online at

Excerpted from the book Love Has Wings: Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs and Fall in Love with Life © 2012 by Isha Judd. Printed with permission from New World Library.

WIN THE BOOK! Enter a comment below and you will automatically be entered to win a copy of Love Has Wings: Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs and Fall in Love with Life by Isha Judd. Winner will be announced on May 29 (winner will be notified via Care2 profile). Good luck!


Bonnie Margay B.

Winner: Please email Samantha at to claim your new book. Thanks to everyone who entered!


Dale Overall

While reading through the first page of the article I was somewhat leery as it discussed negativity and how if victims could just switch from resentment to creator lives would be a lot more easier. Some how victims were not taking responsibility for their lives and should smile, be happy with the right can just do wonders!

Thankfully on the second page there was a reference to the fact that victims could not change their lives if they did not acknowledge the pain, resentment and the wisdom that each victim must face: "You will not become free of it by rejecting or judging it."

Being a victim is a stage that all go through be it a victim of crime including childhood sexual abuse or many others, an illness that is horrific and so many other circumstances.

Eventually we crawl out of the abyss, sometimes falling down the crevice many times until we see the dim light of hope. One transforms from being a victim where the abuser ultimately wins if your life becomes perpetual victim hood to Survivor while striving and at some point in time, a person who can Thrive in the journey of Life.

Nicole states condescendingly "I hate when people constantly play victim. YOU create your own reality." Life can be brutal, a child does not ask to be abused, sexually or otherwise nor do people ask to be robbed, etc. It may take years to go from victim to survivor, striving and then ultimately thriving. Some don't make it but many eventually do.

Dale Overall

For some of the picky people out there in Care2 when it comes to spelling and grammar, my error of some how is being corrected. Somehow! There, there, don't you...naughty contraction, feel much better now!

devon leonard
Devon Leonard5 years ago

wonderful article written about this book... the powerful Energy of Love easily transcends anything the energy of fear dish's up in our inner mind-scape.. our continuing awareness of This liberates us from causing ourself to suffer (unconsciously?) so much.. Shine that Love-Light..!!

Abbe A.
Azaima A5 years ago

she's great

Suzanne R. B.
Suzanne R. B.5 years ago

Thank you so much for putting in words what I have been practising and preaching to every victim I have ever met.
With the" ME" power, I control how, when , where I get out of the victimization that bothers me.
I am always in control of my life as long as I believe in myself.
Thank you and keep the good work.
A lot is riding on our shoulders .

Jeanette Hess
Jeanette Hess5 years ago

In many of our local communities with overwhelming poverty, substance abuse, domestic violence and gangsterism, the victim syndrome is a common one and new material to share with women and youth in discussion groups are always welcome.

El Quintrell-barlow

The victim is a really easy role. One that too many of us have got lost in. I'm sure everyone wld benefit from a book that shows us how not to be a victim. I'm sure I wld appreciate any help I can get. : )

Crystal Sellers
Crystal Sellers5 years ago

I would read this book myself for healing then give it to my cousin who was a victim as well, so she could start her own journey to healing!

jolene e.
jo e5 years ago

I lived as a victim for too long; now I relish each day of freedom I have found

jolene e.
jo e5 years ago

I live too many years as a victim, but now I relish the freedom I have found