http://www.care2.com/greenliving/freedom-from-resentment.html
Freedom from Resentment
Resentment builds up when we are not real with the people in our lives. It is that which is left unsaid that causes resentment, often little things that pile on top of each other, until the tiniest event can cause an explosive reaction. Try incorporating these habits into your life to free yourself from resentment:
Say what you feel, in the moment
Speaking our truth is one of the hardest things for us to do, and telling people — especially the people we love and admire — when we are annoyed with them, is often extremely difficult. The reason it is so hard is that we are afraid of rejection, of losing their approval, and ultimately, losing their love. But when we don’t say what is going on, the momentary irritation or conflict that was generated by their actions is stored inside, and adds to all the other times we have repressed similar annoyances. The spontaneity of the relationship has then gone — if we pretend to be nice and friendly, our interactions become a performance — an act, where true love is hard to find. When you decide to face the fear of rejection and say what you are really feeling, your transparency sets you free, allowing you to release the built up judgments and emotions, and let go of resentment.
Develop a loving relationship with yourself
The need to receive approval from our loved ones, the need to control and manipulate their opinion of us, comes from our own need for acceptance and love. It is only when we have lost the ability to accept ourselves that we start worrying about what other people think, and so start hiding and contorting ourselves in order to become what we consider “good enough”. In order to change this, we must go inwards, and start looking at ourselves. Pay less attention to how the outside tells you to be, and start listening to the voice of your own heart. This will make it easier for you to start speaking your truth, and letting go of the need for external approval.
Feel your emotions
In order to release the built up charge of resentment, allow yourself to feel. Young children don’t feel resented exactly because of this — they feel everything, without “filtering” what they should or should not express. Because of this, they are able to see everything afresh — every moment is new, full of possibility and excitement. Let yourself feel. Let yourself get angry, allow yourself the liberty of feeling sad. When you do, you will find that the resentment and bitterness around events of the past begin to lift, and you are able to recuperate the magic and innocent wonder of childhood.
Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at www.whywalkwhenyoucanfly.com.
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26 comments
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why is this inappropriate?
I've noted, really interesting, thanks a lot :).
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i sometimes get myself in trouble by expressing my emotions but at least i'm true to my self
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Thank you. I agree.
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love it. thanks..
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so true!
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thanks
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thanks
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It can be so tough to balance transparency against not hurting feelings or enraging people, though.
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Its all about choices...you choose to be angry or you choose not too be...one must be accountable for their actions instead of trying to transfer responsiblity to another....If I say something you don't like its your choice how you respond...if you get mad that was your choice...don't try and transfer your anger too me it was your choice...
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