Ever find yourself thinking one thing and doing something altogether contradictory? Like “I should not have another donut” and then scarfing one down? We’re all a mass of contradictions, particularly when it comes to the things we keep intending to do but somehow never get going on. What’s that all about?

Neurologist Paul MacLean says it’s because we have three brains, not one. While connected to one another, each acts independently and often at odds with one another. The oldest is the “reptilian” brain. This is the part in charge of our breathing, heartbeat—all body functions outside our conscious control. It simply repeats behaviors over and over.

The second brain is the “limbic system,” which is our emotional brain, concerned with feelings, instincts, eating, fighting, and sexual behavior. This is where we decide whether something is a good idea or not. The emotional brain isn’t very smart. It only understands “pleasant” or “painful,” and “safe” or “danger,” the patterns for which were created when we were very young. I call it the “bunny” brain because we share it with all mammals. It propels us toward pleasure and away from pain. Whenever it senses danger, it sends the body into fight or flight. Our muscles tighten, our blood vessels constrict, and our bodies are flooded with stress hormones as we prepare to fight, freeze, or run like hell.

The third brain is the neocortex, the thinking brain that distinguishes humans from animals. This is the part of our brain capable of reasoning.

So what does this have to do with living our intention? Everything. The thinking brain is where we decide that we want to do something. But depending on what it is and what we’ve done in the past, our emotional brain may not cooperate. Remember what it’s scanning for? Pleasure and safety. That’s why we so often “sabotage” ourselves—our emotional brain overrides what our thinking brain has decided in favor of immediate pleasure or perceived safety.

That’s why to create lasting success with your intention, you’ve got to get your emotions on your side. We change not because it makes sense to from the perspective of our thoughts (I should go to the gym), but by engaging our feelings (It’s going to feel fabulous to be thinner.) If the change seems too scary, too hard, or no fun, your emotional brain is going to work against it.

To try: What could be easy, fun, new, and different about creating this new intention of yours? For instance, what could be wonderful about having more work/life balance? (More time with friends? The ability to read those novels by your bedside?) Eliminating your credit card debt? (Greater peace of mind? A sense of freedom?) Finding a wonderful partner? (Feeling connected to someone? Having a person to enjoy things with?) Once you’ve figured out the feeling reason, create a symbol of that feeling that you put in a number of places so you can remember it when you need to. Because the bunny brain doesn’t have long-term memory!

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In this monthlong learning series, M.J. Ryan, author of the best-selling book This Year I Will…: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True, will take you through four steps, each lasting one week, to help you figure out what your most important intentions are and give you the tools to make each a reality. Just joining the learning series? Go here to start at the beginning. Intent.com provides content and community for who you aspire to be–personally, socially and globally.