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Getting the 411 on the Teen Hook Up

Getting the 411 on the Teen Hook Up

Teens are having sex. This fact is undeniable, and there is not much any one person could do about it, unless of course you happen to be a teenager yourself. Parents have been concerned and fretting over the issue of teen sex for at least a century, as this nascent form of carnality has gone through countless revolutions and iterations informed by everything from birth control to “sexting.” So, to repeat, there is no stopping the sex train that is on a crash course with the impressionable lives of American teenagers everywhere. However, apprehensive parents have new reason to be troubled and wary due to the prevalence of the notorious “hook up.”

The hook up, or “hooking up” as is used in a more active context, is nothing that new, but has, over the past few years, been canonized in popular culture to define casual and consensual sex. The term itself is sufficiently vague, but generally involves sexual encounters, of varying degrees of frequency and intensity, with little or no strings attached. This form of casual sex will sometimes, but not always, lead to something more substantial like a long term relationship, which is an inversion of the usual dating chronology which placed relationship well before the prospect of sex. Teenagers and young adults have been opting out of the traditional courtship ritual of dating, in favor of the far more casual, and far less doctrinaire, practice of “hooking up.” Dating itself, with its definitive gender etiquette and high price tag just doesn’t stand a chance against the visceral appeal of easy and unfettered sexual congress.

So is dating dead? This has been a concern among parents, bloggers, and commentators alike. Dating, according to Beth Bailey’s history of dating, From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America, evolved out of a courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, under the watchful eye of a chaperon. At the turn of the 20th century, dating caught on among the poor whose homes were not suitable for entertaining. And then the practice was moved to the backseats of cars, converted and carpeted basements, and the poorly lit bathroom stalls of nightclubs.

Ironically, even with the rise of “hooking up” teens are having far less sex than they were a few decades ago (according to data from the CDC) and many participants in the “hook up” culture claim that the informality and lack of pressure breed a more relaxed social environment where true friendships are nurtured. But is the “hook up” degrading our traditional notion of dating and intimacy? Many critics of the “hooking up” phenomenon claim that being able to engage in intimate relationships where men and women bring all of themselves to the relationship is the cornerstone of family, and without it we are cast adrift in selfish sexual pleasure and fleeting intimacy. In the era of hyperactive internet-based social networks, “hooking up” seems like the logical extension of the current technological culture, but is this sex liberating or just cynical and detached? Is the route to empowerment (for both genders) in the bedroom or within the confines of a developing and mature relationship?

Read more: Blogs, Dating, Family, Love, Parenting at the Crossroads, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sex, Teens, , , , , ,

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Eric Steinman

Eric Steinman is a freelance writer based in Rhinebeck, NY. He regularly writes about food, music, art, architecture, and culture and is a regular contributor to Bon Appétit among other publications.

9 comments

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8:05AM PST on Jan 15, 2012

I have to agree with some of this. We need to talk to our kids about their lives! Many parents don’t know how to talk about sex with adults let alone their kids. I've done classes for kids on STD prevention and the stuff they say is unreal! We as a society expose our kids to sex so early is it any wonder that we have an epidemic of detachment coming? Without parental or family involvement to show their children how rewarding a loving relationship can be then they will learn from others. What amazes me is that we can have sex, condoms, and tampons on TV commercials during family primetime but the world stops if someone is breast feeding in public!!

Bridget
~ Neo-Vie
www.neoviehealth.wordpress.com

10:18PM PST on Dec 16, 2011

Thanks for this article

http://www.sirfpaisa.com

6:47AM PST on Dec 13, 2011

not many comments! maybe this is something most people aren't concerned about or they just missed this article when it was posted.

i don't agree with previous comment that going off to preschool has anything to do with it. lack of community and lack of good parenting skills is more likely responsible.

mores are changing and sometimes we need to adjust, but i think it is sad to see children losing there innocence at such an early age. popular culture exposes young people to too much. parents both work, are tired and many have little or no support or experience in parenting. peer pressure in teen years is very strong. parents need to develop a good strong relationship with their children early on, talking to their children and really listening to them.

8:45AM PST on Nov 30, 2011

having our children taking from the home at very early ages,some start to per-school at 3, is hindering their bonding making it seem more 'natural' to spend just a short time with someone,sex,as the right way to have a relationship. Parents need to spend more time with their children just taking to them,being a round them. Love isn't just "QUALITY TIME". Spending time with children will teach them to spend time with others later.

5:53AM PST on Nov 29, 2011

Thanks for the article

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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