http://www.care2.com/greenliving/happiness-is-an-inside-job-7-ways-to-enjoy-it.html
Happiness is an Inside Job: 7 Ways to Enjoy it!
Recently we taught a workshop where a number of the participants had lost loved ones in the past years: one had lost her son to AIDS, another had lost her husband, son, and mother all within twelve months, another’s partner had drowned. Others were dealing with specific illnesses, or difficult issues in their lives.
Through the tremendous grief, what eventually emerged was the awareness that our real happiness lies within ourselves–that it is not dependent on someone or something outside of ourselves. Where people had lost what they had thought of as their source of happiness–a loved one or their health–they have now come to look more deeply within. It was a weekend of many ‘aha’ moments!
On the way home we were delayed for three hours at Dallas airport and, as it is easy to do when waiting at airports, we browsed the magazine rack and casually looked through an edition of People Magazine. It just happened to be filled with people like Angelina Jolie saying what it is that gives them happiness. Most of the answers were about loved ones and children, but some were as banal as, “Free popcorn refills and clean underwear,” or “Happiness is a Chick-fil-A and a soft pretzel.”
We thought we would share some of the ways our workshop participants discovered how to truly be happy and enjoy their lives.
1. Not to take yourself too seriously. At times of hardship, such as loss or illness, we can easily lose our humor, and even more easily get very involved with the negative aspects of what is happening. We become the center of our universe. Remembering not to take ourselves too seriously brings a lightness and ease to the weight of circumstance around us. Don’t forget–angels can fly because they take themselves lightly!
2. Not to identify with suffering, loss, or illness, as being who you are. Many of our participants realized how they had been identifying themselves as a cancer survivor / widow / recovering addict, or whatever it may be, but had not asked themselves who they were without that label or identity. When we do not identify with the negative label, then the positive side of who we are has a chance to shine.
3. It’s OK to be you, just as you are, warts and all. We may think we are imperfect, a mess, falling apart, hopeless, or unable to cope. But true perfection is really just accepting our imperfections. It is accepting ourselves, complete with all the things we like and the things we don’t like. In this way we are not struggling with or rejecting ourselves. Each one of is unique, a one-time offer, but we cannot know it if we are facing away from ourselves.
Next: 4 More Ways to Find Happiness!
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Happiness is our nature. It is who we are when we the egoic monkey mind is not ruling our lives. It is not what HH the Dalai Lama says or anyone else.
It is what you awaken to. You cannot tell someone what an apple tastes like .. they must taste the apple themselves.
Happiness is not a mental state. When the mind is quiet, at peace then happiness flowers.
That you all for your great comments. What wise people are in the Care2 comminity.
May all beings be happy,
Ed
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According to the Dalai Lama, our happiness is based on mental peace or inner tranquility. To arrive at that state we need to express or develop love and compassion for others, especially our enemies. In fact, they are our greatest teachers. Tolerance and patience should be our friends; hatred and anger are our real foes. Genuine sympathy, universal altruism, caring and responsibility are ways of being that can transform our lives. For more thoughts on happiness, see www.happiness-after-midlife.com/e-book.html.
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I totally agree that "our real happiness lies within ourselves–that it is not dependent on someone or something outside of ourselves."
The Christian writer Paul said the same 2000 years ago. He "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation." For more about his secrets for happiness, see http://amzn.com/144218776X
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I feel the most happy when I become completely present in the current moment. I try and look at the world as though I am seeing it for the first time, and embrace my current situation. Right now, we are going through some economic changes. Some might identify with the victim role if they were in my shoes, but I choose to see it as an opportunity, and an indicator that big changes are about to happen. Instead of resisting, I am becoming fully aware of my fear. Somehow, embracing these "negative" feelings is making me feel more alive. Not only is happiness an inside job, but it's a choice.
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why is this inappropriate?
I feel the most happy when I become completely present in the current moment. I try and look at the world as though I am seeing it for the first time, and embrace my current situation. Right now, we are going through some economic changes. Some might identify with the victim role if they were in my shoes, but I choose to see it as an opportunity, and an indicator that big changes are about to happen. Instead of resisting, I am becoming fully aware of my fear. Somehow, embracing these "negative" feelings is making me feel more alive. Not only is happiness an inside job, but it's a choice.
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Thank you for these important reminders.
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what a beautiful article!
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