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Healing Separation

Healing Separation

All of us bring our needs to relationships, but they don’t have to turn into attachment. Attachment is created when needs aren’t understood and faced.

Needs you place on your partner never really get resolved; therefore even if your partner bends over backward to satisfy every need you have, the final outcome will be the same as if none of your needs were met: you will be left to confront why you have such needs. This “why” is answered by examining how you feel about being in separation, for the underlying anxiety of separation from God, spirit, and Self is what created need in the first place.

When you heal separation, your needs will not reflect fear and insecurity.

Relationship is meant to heal separation; therefore the proper attitude toward need is that you want to heal. However, in many relationships there is a confusing mismatch between what two people actually consider most important.

How can neediness be healed when there is constant jockeying over what two people want? We have to make a distinction between external needs, like food and shelter, and inner needs. Inner needs come down to what makes you feel secure.

You need to recognize imbalances where they exist and take responsibility for them. A man who has many female needs shouldn’t rely on his wife to make all the decisions, while a woman with strong male needs shouldn’t ignore her partner’s emotions. The object is to find the balance of male and female within you rather than take the easy road, which is to attach yourself to someone else’s strengths as a compensation for your weaknesses.

Satisfying inner need has to go deeper than what society or your ego tells you will suffice. To be in separation is by definition to be insecure.

Inner need must be faced before you can feel secure.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Spirit, ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.


+ add your own
11:40PM PST on Nov 21, 2013

Inner Peace. Thanks for Sharing.

1:42AM PDT on Apr 26, 2013

thanks for sharing

4:57AM PDT on Apr 13, 2013

Thanks for sharing.

2:51AM PST on Jan 6, 2013

A break can really help since we need time to think and understand

12:39AM PST on Nov 6, 2012


8:50AM PDT on Mar 11, 2012

AK ???

8:32AM PDT on Mar 11, 2012

Sesli Chat Sesli Sohbet Kamerali Sohbet Eglenceli Chat Sitesi Seslichat

9:51PM PST on Mar 7, 2012

I don't believe another person has to be there to make me feel whole. I take care of my basic needs myself and all my relationships do the rest. That includes relationships with nature and all that is part of our earth.

4:40AM PST on Mar 5, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

12:17AM PST on Mar 5, 2012


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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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