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Healthy Conflict or Drama? Quiz

Healthy Conflict or Drama? Quiz

Every couple has disagreements, but how you handle them makes all the difference in the world. Healthy conflict, for instance, can be worked out but stressful drama does not respond to the tools of conflict resolution.

Take this quiz to see how you and your partner, friend, boss, child, or parent handle differences. The quiz includes helpful guidance for handling disagreement in more positive ways. Its all right here:

Look at these pairs of statements. Which statement in each pair best describes the way you usually handle disagreement?

The problem is placed on the table between us, and we see it in perspective – OR - The problem becomes bigger than both of us; we are possessed by it and lose perspective.

We explore the situation – OR – We exploit the situation.

We address the issue directly - OR – We sidestep the issue or cover it up.

We express our feelings candidly, taking responsibility for them as our own, without blaming the other or feeling ashamed - OR - We use invective to dump our feelings on one another or engage in theatrical/histrionic displays meant to manipulate, intimidate, or distance the other.

We are looking for a way to keep the relationship stable, and we dont use violence – OR - We explode, act violently, retaliate, or withdraw sullenly.

We remain focused on the present issue - OR – We use the present issue to bring up an old resentment that contaminates the present process.

The healthy-conflict statements can be used as guides for more positive ways of handling disagreement.

Read more: Guidance, Life, Quizzes, Self-Help

Adapted from How to Be An Adult in Relationships, by David Richo (Shambhala, 2002). Copyright (c) 2002 by adavid Rocho. Reprinted by permission of Shambhala.

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Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

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How to Be An Adult in Relationships

The five keys to mindful now


+ add your own
12:55AM PDT on Sep 9, 2012

Thanks for posting.

11:45PM PDT on Sep 7, 2012

Thanks for the good information.

12:42AM PDT on Sep 7, 2012

Thanks Annie.

8:53AM PDT on Jun 17, 2011

thanks for the info

4:53AM PST on Mar 11, 2011

Thanks for the info.

6:49PM PST on Dec 13, 2010

Thank you! It was very useful!

1:36AM PDT on May 20, 2010

thanks for post

8:58PM PST on Feb 1, 2010

Good info!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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