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11 Ways A Caregiver Can Respond to Insensitive Comments

8. Comment: “Don’t feel guilty about…”
Caregiver response: “It may seem irrational to you, but part of the reason I feel guilty is that I desperately want to fix what’s wrong in my loved one’s life. I know I can’t fix everything, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” (See explanation for number 4)

9. Comment: “Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about something happy and fun.”
Caregiver response:
“I really need to talk to someone about this. Do you mind if we discuss it first—and then go and do something fun?” Laverty says that caregivers need to do a better job of letting their friends and family know that sometimes they need to talk about the difficult things.

10. Comment: “You must be so relieved that it’s over.”
Caregiver response:
“Yes, I am,” or “No, I’m not.” You’re allowed to (and probably should) be honest, according to Laverty. And you don’t have to justify them to anyone.

11. Comment: “When are you going to get over it (a senior’s death) and move on?”
Caregiver response:
“Caring for my loved one has been my whole world for the past (insert time). I am going to need some time and space to figure out where my life goes from here.”

Read More:
Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry – 5 Reasons Why It’s Good for You
LOL: Why You Should Laugh Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
The Lighter Side of Caregiving: Appreciate the Humor

How A Caregiver Can Respond to Insensitive Comments originally appeared on AgingCare.com..

 

 

Read more: Aging, Caregiving, Family, Friendship, Relationships, , ,

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AgingCare.com connects family caregivers and provides support, resources, expert advice and senior housing options for people caring for their elderly parents. AgingCare.com is a trusted resource that visitors rely on every day to find inspiration, make informed decisions, and ease the stress of caregiving.

42 comments

+ add your own
12:40PM PST on Dec 3, 2013

caregivers need all the support that they can get. i take my grandpa to adult daycare. fortunately, his medicaid pays for all his daycare expenses so I take him there often to get respite for myself.

12:38PM PST on Dec 3, 2013

my mom who is an RN thinks that my job as a caregiver to my grandpa (who is her dad) is easy breezy. she thinks I only sit on my a$$ and watch tv. wow! my mom's got a lot to learn and she's not even taking care of him.

12:35PM PST on Dec 3, 2013

i'm a caregiver to my grandpa and a single mom on top of that. i needed to read this article. thanks!

2:36AM PDT on Aug 6, 2012

Ispeci pa reci.

1:07AM PDT on Aug 6, 2012

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” Lao Tzu

2:37AM PDT on Aug 3, 2012

I found it best to simply steer clear of those people who didn't think before they spoke, it was too hard a job without idiots adding to the already stressful situation. I had to go to strangers for help, and thanks to them I didn't go insane myself, bless them for their help, I would have been lost without it.

2:29AM PDT on Aug 3, 2012

Thank you for this... it's all true. People sometimes have a hard time putting themselves in your shoes... or just minding their own business!

1:28PM PDT on Aug 2, 2012

The sad fact is that our government will pay to put your loved one in a "home" but refuses to fund home care even though it's cheaper and better for the patient. I write letters to my legislators trying to change the way we care for people in this country.

11:32AM PDT on Aug 2, 2012

Thanks

FYI Sorry friends,my profile is down (7/26/12) until care2 support
resolves their server issues.

11:13PM PDT on Aug 1, 2012

Bad questions need truthful answers.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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