How Chaz Bono is Being Unapologetically Chaz is all about being unapologetically YOU so you can heal, connect, and thrive. But doing so isnít always easy, and we all need role models.

Iíd like to shine a light on Chaz Bono, who is Owning Pink so fearlessly that Iím in awe. Chaz Bono was born Chastity, but he never felt like a girl. As a tomboy child, he struggled to fit in, and as a teen, he decided he must be a lesbian. But that didnít feel right either. Chaz just always felt like a man and suffered from the constant unsettling feeling that something just wasnít right. So two years ago, Chastity announced that she planned to become Chaz.

Back when Chaz first announced that he (then she) was going to undergo a sex change, I wrote this post praising the decision. Now, with the sex change process nearly done, Chaz is coming out with a memoir Transition, and a documentary Becoming Chaz. And Iím just tickled pink about the whole thing.

In a People magazine interview, Chaz discusses the challenges of being unapologetically Chaz. Apparently, Mama Cher just couldnít deal when she heard his voice deepening, and she cut him out of her life for a while. But then Cher announced on The Late Show, ďIf I woke up in a manís body, I would think, ĎOh my God, Iíve got to get out of here,í and thatís the way Chaz felt.Ē

Amen, sister.

Since then, Cher and Chaz have reestablished connection, but itís still a work in progress.

Next: Unapologetically YOU

Unapologetically YOU

When we embark upon the journey of being unapologetically who we really are, itís risky, and it can be incredibly scary. Before becoming Chaz, Chastity feared not just losing her mother. She also feared being rejected by her longtime girlfriend Jenny, being alienated by the LGBT community, and public criticism.

But instead of massive rejection, Chaz has been embraced by millions who see him as the poster child of someone who is willing to do something radical in order to be truly authentic — through and through. Chaz says, ďFor decades, I know I didnít make sense as a girl — not just to myself but to others, and both men and women were stand-offish. Now I am treated in a much friendlier manner, in particular by men. The parking attendant who has ignored me for years now says, ĎHey buddy, howís it going?í I canít express how good it feels.Ē

Chaz adds, ďEver since transitioning, I hear all the time that I seem so grounded, so present, so happy. And I am. This recognition means a lot to me and is further affirmation that I made the right choice.Ē

Chazís transition is big and obvious, so it makes him a noteworthy example of someone taking a huge leap of faith to be who he really is. But many of us suffer from similar unhappiness that arises when we pretend to be something weíre not. Maybe youíre considering a transition in your life — quitting your job because it doesnít feel like you, leaving your husband because the relationship just isnít aligned with your authentic self, coming out of the closet about your true sexual desires, or learning to love again after losing a loved one.

Regardless of what transition you face, you will never be truly, blissfully, authentically joyful and full of mojo unless youíre being authentic. Sure, Chaz could have sucked it up and convinced himself to be grateful for the blessings in his life, rather than making this radical change. But would he feel the bliss he feels these days? No.

Does it mean shaking things up and putting yourself at risk of rejection? Yes. Just like Mama Cher, someone in your life might have a hard time accepting the real you. But is it worth keeping your joy throttled in order to please those people?

That’s for you to decide.

All I can say is that, even since I decided to be ALL LISSA, ALL THE TIME, Iíve been filled with a joy that surpasses explanation. I feel jubilant. I feel radiant. And most importantly, I feel free.

When you discover you can feel this way, you want to shout it from the mountaintops, and thatís what Iím doing here with Iím inviting you to consider crossing the threshold, getting out of your own way, and Owning Pink.

Iím so passionate about this that Iím writing my next book about it. Itís all about helping women heal, connect, and thrive by tapping into their Inner Pilot Light and leaping into their dreams.

Are you ready to take the leap? Sign up for the free Get Out Of Your Own Way mini e-course and start taking the first steps. But most importantly, dig into your own heart, listen to the your Inner Pilot Light, and muster up the courage to take one baby step towards living a more authentic life.

What one step could you make — today?

What do you think of Chaz Bonoís decision? Are you be brave enough to be unapologetically YOU? Iíd love to hear your thoughts.

*†† *†† *†† *

Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of, Pink Medicine Woman coach, motivational speaker, and author of†Whatís Up Down There? Questions Youíd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.

Learn more about Lissa Rankin here.

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Mac C.
mac C.4 years ago

Go Chaz! --And good for you Lissa. I have that inner joy at times and it's great! Thanks for the article, enjoyed.

Sulette Matthee
Sulette Botha4 years ago

Haha interesting comments

Eternal Gardener
Eternal Gardener4 years ago

I really couldn't care less about all this, good luck to all.

Robyn L.
Robyn L.4 years ago

Some days I wish I didn't read the comments.

Let's get something clear here: sex is genitalia.
Sexuality is attraction and action (gay, straight, pan- or asexuality)
Gender is NOT a synonym for sex. It is the perception (by others, self) of male or female attributes.

Chaz had genitalia that mismatched his gender.

Deciding to become the gender you feel you are is not simple, easily understood, or easily undertaken. It certainly isn't done to rebel against parents. (it also isn't cheap, with psychological therapy, hormone therapy and eventually surgeries)
It also has astronomical relationship costs: family, friends, lovers can all reject the transgendered person.
For lovers and partners, their sexuality becomes part of the puzzle. If a lesbian partner stays with a transman, she might be seen as straight. A wife who stays with a transwoman is now seen as a lesbian. That can be tough to realize your outward identity can change along with your partner.

But choosing not to live as your gender is denying yourself.

Imagine yourself in that position.

May your actions come back on you as you send them out into the world.

Isabel Gosset
Isabel Gosset4 years ago


Lyllyan Blare
Lyllyan Blare4 years ago

I applaud anyone who is willing to be themselves. It's not for me to judge another's actions or lifestyle. I choose to worry about my own business, stay true to myself and let God judge me and others for how I (and others) live their lives. Thank you, Lissa, for a wonderful article.

Brigid C.
Brigid C.4 years ago

beecoming who we are is a corageous journey, one which in one way or another we all must make

Lisa Neste
Lisa Neste4 years ago

I applaud the fortitude & bravery it took for Chaz to recognize his truth. I'm all for people being comfortable in their own skin. Other people may not understand it, but it doesn't mean you should judge someone for your ignorance. Chaz seems to be a very eloquent & intelligent person with a good heart. And Cher may have a hard time of it also, but ultimately she loves her child no matter what!

Veronica C.
Veronica C.4 years ago

Chaz has really been working the talk show circuit lately and s/he's constantly talking about how happy s/he is. S/he doesn't really look as happy as s/he claims to be. It's almost like s/he wants to prove a point or be the role model for this. S/he is an activist after all.

I read that s/he wants to talk to Brangelina about their "tomboy" daughter. C'mon now, you can alter your body with drugs and surgeries, but it's stepping over the line to say that a 4 year old is going to be like you.

pat B.
pat B.4 years ago

I am speechless for once.