Relationships are complex. Sometimes, when we are too deep into a relationship, we find ourselves unable to see the bigger picture and remember what is good and great about our bond. Couples, in particular, often find themselves bogged down under the weight of busyness, expectations, and small complaints that can escalate into big arguments—or worse, disenchantment with each other.
That’s why, it helps to step back from time to time and ask yourself some important questions about the depth and health of your emotional engagement with each other. Here is a set of simple questions to help you do that:
- My partner does have a busy life, but often shows me that I come first in his life.
- I almost never feel alone or shut out in our relationship.
- We both have hectic schedules, but I know he will listen when I need his attention, and he can be sure I am there for him.
- Even during our worst fights, I know deep down that he loves me.
- In simple ways, he shows me that my happiness makes him happy.
- I can be myself with him and share my deepest thoughts with him.
- After a long day, it is always good to come back to each other.
If you answered mostly True to these questions, rejoice—you are in a secure and happy relationship. But even if not, let these questions help you find the problem areas and point you in the direction of resolution. Sometimes, all it takes is a little more time together, a touch more generosity of heart, to reconnect and reestablish the beautiful bond that brought you together and has kept you in the relationship all this time.
Relationship Guru Dr. Phil says it so simply: “You can’t rebuild what you don’t acknowledge.”