How to Change the Culture of Bullying (Page 3)

Fortunately, there are effective solutions and tools available for schools and parents. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel. We just have to turn the wheel and get it rolling. Below are a few. If bullying is a problem in your family or local school, I encourage you to share this information.

Nicholas Carlisle, Director of No Bully, suggests schools implement “Solution Teams.” Under a Solution Team, an adult team leader brings together a team of students to stop the bullying of one of their peers. The leader describes how it feels to be in the target’s shoes and asks the team to solve this situation. The team includes the bully, his or her followers and some positive leaders from the same peer group. The rewards that schools typically experience from this kind of social and emotional learning are significant reductions in student bullying, increased student inclusiveness and respect.

Institute of HeartMath’s research-based classroom programs for social and emotional development, called HeartSmarts®, provide children with methods to recognize cues happening inside their bodies and feelings that can lead to aggression. They learn age-specific HeartMath tools to manage their emotional impulses and shift their focus to more constructive outlets for their energy. These tools enable children from pre-kindergarten through high school and beyond to self-regulate emotional energy, such as anger, frustration, anxiety or fear, and develop compassion and respect for themselves and others.

HeartMath’s emWave^® technology is also highly effective in teaching children emotional balance and coherence, an optimal state in which their heart, mind and emotions are in sync and harmonized. Emotional balance is essential for managing personal stress, maintaining self-control and overcoming anger, fear and a lack of self-respect, all of which can contribute to bullying and other destructive behaviors.

Counselors, psychologists, educational therapists, social workers and other healthcare professionals are using HeartMath^® Interventions Certification Program to teach HeartMath about their therapeutic work with children. The program’s protocols help them to help children establish a new baseline of inner coherence that results in sustained attitude and behavior changes.

Free Tools for Well-Being for ages 3 – 18, and techniques for parents.

Sign Up for the Free Institute of HeartMath Newsletter. You will also receive access to our free subscriber downloads to PDFs, MP4 and audio programs, and receive latest scientific research.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Stella N.

4:39PM PST on Dec 13, 2011

Thanks for the article.

December 13
send a green star

Janine H.

4:30AM PST on Nov 6, 2011

Thank you for the article. It is sad, when someone is alone. And i hope that other people have someone behaves supportedly towards and who takes them seriously.

Always when i hear about terrible things it makes me sad, and i cannot understand how someone could do something terrible - hurt, rape or kill a person or animal. When i was a child this also happened to me... and surviving this is more terrible than not (parents and other may think different, but a victim?), living with all this pain... living with guilty feelings... full with hate for the own self
No one can understand, because most people cannot imagine this, cannot imagine how much it change. Some of them think, that this would not be so terrible, because all would make some sexual experiences, and so it would not matter if there were some without own interest or wish. This cruel and superficial society makes me sick.

I know that it is not good to wish someone who does terrible things something as a punishment. But when i hear about violent people then i think why are they so "afraid" to go to someone equal and get some hits for their selves. This is a perversion, to think being more a man when beating a woman or a girl. This men are a shame for all normal men.

About me... there is no one who takes me seriously... :( i hate my own life, i wish i would vanish... that no one would have a burden (me) anymore...

Please forgive these sadness

"Only when the last tree has been cut down; Only when the last

November 6
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june t.

12:26AM PDT on Nov 4, 2011

Childhood bullies often grow up to become adult bulllies of the workplace (and other aspects of life). Bullying gives them a payoff in higher self esteem, and often people gravitate to bullies - otherwise, bullies would have no friends and wouldn't be able to continue being bullies. Sometimes they become bullying supervisors and managers, and make life hell for their employees. I wish schools would emphasize ethics, kindness, conscience, etc. especially in younger grades. There isn't just one aspect, but many aspects to the bullying problem.

November 4
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Alisa C.

7:13PM PDT on Nov 2, 2011

I have so many thoughts on this. That I have seen adult attempts to create a safe space work, and I have seen them backfire spectacularly on the same day, because the bully learned exactly the wrong lesson - how to *really* push his victim's buttons. That none of these seem to address the peer pressure to be part of the "in" crowd by excluding another. that children seem to have a herd mentality, so that a single emmisary of compassion is more likely to become another victim if they speak up. That bullying includes ostracization as well as active physical or verbal abuse, and that being the kid no one will sit with at lunch is as devastating as any words or blows.

This is something I deal with daily, because I have a 14 year old son with high-functioning autism. I used to think that if the other kids would just ignore him instead of trying to make him cry, it would be enough. I was wrong. The other kids, for the most part, act as if he wasn't there. They don't invite him to their houses or parties. They don't sit with him at lunch, and if he approaches them, they close ranks. He's different.

So how do you address that sort of bullying? He's as miserable as he was when they were calling him names on the playground, but there is no specific action or or bully I can point to.

How do we, as compassionate adults, address bullying by silence?

November 2
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Tony C.

2:44AM PDT on Nov 2, 2011

A class in RESPECT AND RESPONSIBILITY should be taught from Grade one to graduation, children should be taught that anything is permissible as long as it does not hurt themselves or anybody else. Common sense would dictate that if children are taught at a very early age that every child has their own strengths and weaknesses and that they should use their strengths to help not tease or bully others.
Later on Sex Education should be taught from Contraceptives, Masturbation,LGBT and all forms of sex. Let us face it whether we like it or not children are curious and are having sex earlier and earlier. They should be taught the joys and the consequences of having sex ( Pregnancy,STD, AIDS ) But you say when will this be taught. Cut out Geography or History early on then put it back in and remove Geometry and Algebra. They can learn this in college if need be. I believe this is a solution. Nipping it in the Bud so that Bullying, Sexual Assault, and many others will be greatly diminished if not eradicated. It is my belief that when children graduate with these principals where they are taught RESPECT for themselves and others and to take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions. Within a few generations this world would be a much better place to live in.

2:43AM PDT on Nov 2, 2011

Marilyn J L.

5:04PM PDT on Nov 1, 2011

Let's indeed do what we can in the early years to eliminate bullying. They grow up to be some of our worst politicians.

November 1
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Angela J.

3:03PM PDT on Nov 1, 2011

I have always tried to stay involved in the school through volunteering. I've found that staying visible and in tune with things in the schoolyard and classroom makes a difference. I have 7 children and we've had a few rough times over the years, both with being bullied and being the bully. Two of my daughters continued an argument over the internet after school a few years ago. Nothing too bad...just alot of name calling but the next day, they were called to the office to speak to the police. The police gave them stern warnings and I guess it worked because we never had another incident. Now that most of my brood is grown with their own children, it should be interesting to see how they deal with this growing problem.

Jean W.

12:22PM PDT on Nov 1, 2011

A method similar to this was used when my daughter was being bullied. It only served to empower the bully further. The bully learned how to cover her track even better.

Rita W.

12:19PM PDT on Nov 1, 2011

thanks