By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com editor
Conventional wisdom says that we all want to stay in our own homes for as long as we can. That is likely how most of our elders feel; however it’s not always in their best interest to do so. How do we talk with them about the realities and dangers of staying at home once their health is failing, and how do we convince them that a move to an assisted living center could be a very good – and positive option?
I believe that part of the problem with convincing elders, and many younger people for that matter, is that people haven’t been inside a modern assisted living center. Deep inside their gut, they harbor the outdated image of an “old folk’s home.” They consider a move from the family home one more step away from independence and one step closer toward death. They think a move to assisted living signifies to the world that they now have the proverbial “one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave.” This image and mindset is stubborn.
For many elders, some in-home help and a personal alarm can be enough. They are able to stay in their own home for years with a relatively small amount of help. Then, a spouse dies. The survivor is now truly alone. There’s no one to get help for them should they fall and can’t set off their alarm. There are few opportunities to socialize. Meals become a chore, so they don’t eat well. Memory is failing, and the stove doesn’t get turned off. The single elder, stubbornly clinging to the idea that their familiar home is best, can often be a sad and lonely sight.
Contrast this life with living in a good assisted living center, whether it’s a stand-alone building, one connected to a nursing home or a small family operation where only a few seniors board. In any of these situations, seniors can thrive because: They don’t have the responsibility of keeping up a home, so they are relieved of the need to hire help or let the house deteriorate. They have people around should they need medical help or other assistance. They have choices of food and snacks with nutritional value and, in most cases, good quality. Perhaps most importantly, they make new friends and have an abundance of activities to choose from.
Okay, you are convinced. You know that you can’t keep providing the constant oversight for your parent that has been taking over your life, and by extension, taking over the lives of your spouse and children. How do you convince your parent that it’s time to move on?
How to Convince Your Parent to Move to Assisted Living originally appeared on AgingCare.com