Going through something like this is situational... some take it better than others. I've dealt with both ends of the spectrum with my grandparents. There is a company out there that puts out specific brain challenges that a person can take to test their memory and brain capabilities. I would suggest that a person take one of these tests to determine if they should be driving or not.

send green star

thanks...you...
Kabin
Konteyner

send green star

My now 90 year old mom had a car accident last year. She is still a pistol and doing very well except for a slightly stiff neck due to fractures. Her car was totaled and we are selfishly thankful that that ended her driving. She would never have given up her car. My sis and I were trying to drop hints about it. She still laments over not being able to drive. She says that if she could turn her head all the way, she'd go buy another one. Stubborn, but I guess that's where we got it from.

send green star

My dad has had Parkinson's disease for over 15 years now and while he has had very good luck with the medications controling the symptoms his reaction time is getting much slower. About 3 years ago we decided he needed to limit his driving; if he needs to go out of town he has to have a co-pilot and he has to stop and take a short break every 2 hours. He is going to have to give up driving in the near future but like everything else his PD effects we try to step in early in the process and work up to someone else being his hands and feet. Luckly I am able to live with my parents during the week and be his Personal Assistant, slowly taking over the things he is no longer able to do or can only do with great diffuculty. He doesn't always like it but he can accept it because we take it a step at a time.

send green star

I'm old and a few years ago exchanged my driver's license for a non-driver's license (for I.D.). Never liked to drive anyway. No one made me. It just seemed that since I didn't have to go to work anymore--why not get rid of expense and responsibility of a car?

I take a cab a few times a year when necessary, but the money I save is still unreal. Often I just walk. It's a challenge that requires planning, but that in itself can be interesting.

send green star

Back when my dad first developed cataracts, I knew that I had to keep him from starting his car. It was literally a life-or-death situation, and I did not want him to have an accident. So I disconnected the distributor cap. It was something I still feel was the right thing to do. He stopped driving because it never occurred to him to check under the hood. He started taking the bus system instead, and he lived to the age of 70.

When I got my first car, I made sure it was a standard because I knew my dad could not drive a car with a standard transmission. (If he had in the past, he probably forgot since he never asked to borrow my car once I was able to legally drive.)

Had he kept on driving in his condition, he would have been dead at 50. Eventually, he had cataract surgery but he never went back to driving. He pretty much took it in stride, though.

send green star

No matter how many times you try to explain it to able-bodied people, they just don't get it! I think Jill P. explained it best. Able-bodied people mean well but they just never seem to have the time. It makes the person needing the help to feel like a huge burden. Our society celebrates independence and shuns people who require help. Almost like saying, 'Hurry up and die, will you?'
The able-bodied person, without even thinking about it, rushes the person they are suppose to be helping making them to feel even worse!
I understand it is a question of safety but do you think maybe you could be a little more sensitive and also help your parent, friend, neighbour?

send green star

Thanksomuch for this KEY story - :-)

The phrase "giving up the keys" though is terrible.
EXACTLY what the experience must NOT be!

Most elderly KNOW that the day of no longer being a driver will come - they are OK with it, as long as they are not put thru a bad passage in it.

One must NOT give them the feeling they are "giving up the keys" like a punishment ....such an approach can be a killer.

Most of the seniors I know team up with others, and arrange for alllllll the running around they can take! :-)

It is important, if possible, that the senior NOT lean all over their children for chauffeuring, when , today, there are lots of nice alternatives available.

One friend adored her Mother and insisted on driving her around , gleefully, and with great love, and no resentment, till she passed at 94.

But this friend spent her days in that sort of response anyway and it was not a burden. In today's two-career households, and relatives living distantly , the modern alternatives are wonderful to keep everyone happy and fully functional.

OK?

helpful?

send green star

Thanks for this "key" article - pun intended.

While it is a major adjustment, be comforted and strengthened to know that the personhood of the senior is great these days. They (and , one day, "we") are realists, and TIME as we age prepares us for this reality - that it is no longer a good idea to be driving. HOWEVER, thanks to awareness and action on senior quality of life issues, it can be just as happy grouping up with the other seniors on the block and arranging for drivers for work and play every day, so it does not need to be a major sorrow.......If my mother thought her day coming , when she won't drive any longer, as "giving up the keys" she'd be ill....bad title choice...demeaning.
The most important thing to remember is that it be THEIR idea to recognize that driving is no longer wise, and other ways to get out a bit every day are better.

As one who had an injury that blocked driving for while, I KNOW - immobilitiy does not mean a blow to autonomy....and this is important to remember.

One day it will be me again, with age and one day you.

ok?


truly
elle fagan
ellefagan.com

send green star

I am 70 and my husband 75 and we still drive, even Interstate, some up to 800+KM each way. On long trips we "spell" each other. Every 2 months or so, I drive my 72 year old sister (she never drove because her husband's job entitled her to a driver) to visit her husband's grave 250km away. I feel, that as long as one is healthy and lucid, age does not matter. We don't have have children and very few surviving relatives. The very idea of not being able to drive anymore, scares the living daylights out of me. We both still work and for me, being a real estate agent, I need to drive. We both recently went for our mandatory driving test (for over 60s) and passed with flying colours and had our licences renewed for another 3 years. As I said above, age is no barrier, but health and lucidity would be. But, I suppose, the day will come when we will have to give it up - but until then, we will enjoy the ability to still be independent.

send green star