By Dr. Karen Sherman for YourTango.com.
As a relationship expert, one of the most common complaints I hear from couples is that they just don’t have the same feelings they did in the beginning of their relationship. Can you relate to this?
If you’re in a relationship that has moved to the committed stage, one that’s lasted for a while, there’s a good chance that you look back on the the so-called honeymoon phase of your relationship with fondness. You’ve gotten past those first couple of dates and decided that the two of you do, in fact, have an interest in one another. As you reflect on it, a smile comes to your face along with nice memories.
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Unfortunately, for most couples it is just that — a memory. Generally, what happens to most couples is that there seems to be a trade-off. The good news is that you’ve committed to each other. The bad news is that you also start to take each other for granted and things start to become complacent. (Luckily, a relationship can be revitalized!)
Think for a moment about the real reason that you want to be part of a relationship. My guess is that you, like everyone else, want to feel like you matter. After all, that’s a major component of what you get being with someone — the validation that you matter to that other person.
In the beginning of a relationship, you get large doses of this because of all the attention that you are giving to each other. It’s almost like no one else in the world exists.
Here’s more good news: You can have the honeymoon phase back. All you have to do is recreate the basics of what you did back then. Of course, it’s likely not to be exactly the same since aspects of your partnership have changed; but the main element of letting your mate know that he or she matters is what matters!
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Now, I know that this idea is common sense and sounds simple. The problem is that you forget to do it. Perhaps it’s really that a sort of mindlessness takes place. So, I want to suggest a couple of ideas for you to incorporate into your routines. When you do these simple things, it will show your mate that he or she is appreciated.
1. Say “thank you” for the things they do — even the day-to-day routine things;
2. Surprise them by picking up their favorite dessert;
3. Send an email or text reminding them that you’re thinking of them;
4. Do a chore they don’t like to make his or her life a little easier; and
5. Smile when they walk into the room.
As you can see, none of these ideas take a great deal of effort, but they all will let your significant other know how much he/she means to you. And in the busy-ness of all else that goes on, it will really help to keep your relationship strong … and empowered!
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This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: Honeymoon Phase Do-Over: 5 Ways To Rekindle The Romance.