START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good

How to Repair Your Broken Long Distance Relationship

How to Repair Your Broken Long Distance Relationship

By Brad Browning for

If you and your long-distance partner have broken up, things may seem fairly hopeless. You may be running out of ideas, and wondering if it’s even going to be possible to win him or her back and remove that “ex” tag from their status. Granted, in some cases, it may be best to focus on moving on. But there are a few things you can do to increase your odds of rekindling the romance and winning your ex back, even when they live hundreds of miles away.

First off, there’s one very important thing you need to understand: you can’t convince your ex to take you back. I know that you may desperately want to reach out to your ex and tell them how much you still love them, and you may be tempted to beg for another chance, but trust me, there simply aren’t any words that can change your ex’s mind. That’s especially true if they live hundreds of miles away. Relationships and romantic attraction are natural, organic things. However, you can’t make your ex fall back in love with you using words; it has to happen on its own. So, no matter how badly you may want to call and say sorry or tell your ex how much you miss them, that won’t help your cause.

Where to begin the process of getting your long-distance girlfriend/boyfriend back will depend on two things:

1. How long its been since your breakup?
2. How serious was your relationship?

If it’s only been a few days or maybe a couple of weeks since the breakup, the first step is to go through a period of no contact. This means completely ignoring your ex for around a month or so. The point of this is to show your ex that you’re moving on, and that you’re not going to wait around and hope that your ex changes his or her mind, making it appear as though there’s tons of other people eager to take their place at your side.

More from YourTango: Be Happy In Your Long Distance Relationship

During the no contact period — and even after that, once you begin to talk with them again — you should be using social media, mutual friends, and any other means at your disposal to subtly convey messages to your ex. For example, since you want your ex to think your life is great and you’re already recovered from the breakup, you might consider posting some photos of you and some friends (preferably friends of the opposite sex) on Facebook. You may also chat up a mutual friend and casually mention that you’ve been dating a few other people and that you’re really enjoying the single life. Don’t make this attempt to incite jealousy or convey a message to your ex obvious; it needs to be subtle. But it’s definitely important to let your ex know, in an “under the radar” manner, how great your life has been since the breakup, and how quickly you’re moving on.

When it’s time to start talking to your ex again, I recommend beginning with a really fun, positive, and brief message (a text message, social media message, Skype message… even an email is OK). With this first message, keep it really short (no more than a few sentences) and make sure it’s fun, upbeat, and interesting. Don’t try to bring up anything serious, don’t start any drama, and don’t say something dull and meaningless like “hey, what’s up?.”

With this first communication, all you want to do is to get your ex to remember how much fun life was when you were there to talk to them every day, and hopefully get a reply. You may need to send this type of message a few times over the course of a month or so, making sure that you keep the conversations fun and interesting each time.

Depending on how your ex responds, and how things go from there, it will hopefully eventually lead to some curiosity and interest on your ex’s part, and help him or her let go of some negative memories and forget the reasons they decided to break up with you. Try to be “in control” of these conversations (meaning you dictate when they happen, what you talk about, and when they end). Keep it brief, don’t get carried away and try to talk your ex’s ear off.

Once you’ve re-established rapport with your ex, and had a few fun and interesting conversations via text message or online chat, then it’s time for either a Skype call / webcam chat or, ideally, an in-person meeting.

An in-person meeting is definitely preferable to a Skype or Facetime webchat, but if you do arrange to meet your ex in person, it’s crucial that you have legitimate excuse for being in their city. You don’t want your ex to think that you’re simply going to his or her hometown just to meet them. It’s always best to think of a legitimate excuse for being “in the area”, which will allow you to invite your ex out for coffee to “catch up” while you’re in town.

More from YourTango: Long Distance Relationship Advice

Keep your meet short and sweet (whether it’s in person or online via webcam). Make sure you”re friendly, upbeat, and positive about your life. Don’t talk about anything “serious” — talk about the NOW and talk about the FUTURE, nothing else.

You also need to add a little bit of a sexual element to it. No, don’t try and have sex with your ex in the coffee shop — but if the opportunity presents itself, build a bit of sexual tension. This is the time to flirt a lot with your ex. Hold eye contact for a little bit longer. Touch them a lot in a playful, flirtatious way. Talk about sexy things and maybe drop a ‘naughty’ inside joke or innuendo. If they’re being receptive to this, then really push it, but make it seem fun and do it almost in a joking way.

At the end of the day, you need to start building attraction again. After all, this is the essence and the backbone of relationships. So when you’re with your ex again, everything that you do must be focused on creating sexual attraction with him or her. That’s why in-person meetings with your ex will always be a lot better than online chats or phone calls. However you end up talking with your ex, remember that building attraction is the key to getting them to want you back, and you don’t build attraction by talking about the past or bringing up old drama. Attraction develops naturally when you’re having fun and you have good chemistry, so that’s the goal of all encounters with your ex.

More from YourTango: How To Fix A Relationship: 11 Conversation Templates

And finally, keep one very important thing in mind: no long-distance relationship can survive indefinitely; there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel where you and your partner will live together and be together every day. It’s a lot more appealing for your ex to get back together with you if you only live an hour apart. On the other hand, if an ocean and thousands of miles separate the two of you, then your ex probably won’t be eager to start over again, knowing the same issues will continue to plague your relationship.

This article originally appeared on How to Repair Your Broken Long-Distance Relationship.

Read more: Love, Relationships, , , ,

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love


YourTango is a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships. No matter what lovestage our users are in—single, taken, engaged, married, starting over, or complicated—we help them live their best love lives.


+ add your own
1:59AM PDT on Apr 18, 2015

Today being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love so much, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr onofe for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr Onofe how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time because i have missed my lover so much i decided to contact him and share all my problem with him which then he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr Onofe so much because i believe he can't fail me but truly Dr Onofe never failed me cos a man that stand on his worlds is really a man,my husband who left me for a year plus replied my text and for the first time returned my calls and asked me to please forgive him i was so happy and so grateful to Dr Onofe for what he has done for me. if you are there passing through this same problem or of any kinds just contact this great man on or call him on +2348100078330.

9:50PM PDT on Apr 17, 2015

i want to share my wonderful testimony on how i got back the love of my life.he left me to another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us,yet things where getting worse. I was almost losing hope in life when my lover of 4 years ended our relationship without any reason and I went for help in the internet and all I met was fake spell casters and scams and I consulted an old friend of mine and explain my situation to her and she said she was in same situation 2weeks back but a wonderful man who was sent to help people helped him out of the problem and I thought it was all a joke and I ask her if it was real and she said if it wasn’t real so how did her lover come back to her, then I decided to give Dr.One karaka a try because I had nothing to loose in trying i met a testimony again share by Marina from Iceland on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought his ex lover back within 48 hours and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did to my friend and Marina and others people. and i have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one i met was a real spell caster and genuine and there is nothing like been with the man you love from heart am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr. One karaka. His contact details or call him +2348147673679 his web site:

7:13PM PDT on Apr 17, 2015

My passion for love and life has made me take on here to tell everyone how DR JAMIN ABAYOMI brought back my lover who has been gone for 6 years.It was all confusion and distress to me when my lover whom i love and cherish wouldn't love me anymore but rather chose to stick to another man at the expense of my feelings for no convincing reason making me crazy.But that's all history now has DR JAMIN ABAYOMI has proven himself worthy to be called a true and chosen spell caster as he has wiped out my tears by bringing my lover back to me.Do you need your lover back or you are been faced with any problem and you need help urgently contact DR JAMIN ABYOMI via

2:42PM PDT on Apr 17, 2015

Am Shechan Ashley am from Canada i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster DR OMOADONA testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called DR. OMOADONA and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a lo

11:05AM PDT on Apr 17, 2015

Hello Everyone,I am here to share this amazing testimony of a spell caster who brought back my Husband.Are you looking for help in terms of been promoted in your office?Looking for a big contract Job? You want to have your Ex Husband or Wife back? You want someone that can see your future? You want your Husband or wife to be yours forever and some that can tell you if you're in the right relationship or not?Do you want Herbal cure for hiv/aids and Cancer Etc. I can introduce you to a great Man Contact Dr Dele. My Name is Susan Cheryl,I am from USA and am here to testify of the good work of Dr Dele on how he brought back my Ex Husband to me within 2 days and cure my friend that i introduced to him from Cancer.When my Husband Ran away with my best friend for years and left me and my two kids and it was really like hell for me, taking care of the two kids alone without any money. I Love my Husband so much and i really needed him back in my Life but i tried all i could to get him back but all effort was in Vain until i met this great man called Dr Dele how he has helped so many people and i thought it was all a joke because i never use to believe in spell casting but i choose to give it a trial and i contacted him and he laughed and said that i shouldn't bother that in two days time i will have my husband back i thought it was a joke but to my greatest surprise, after he has finished casting the spell as exactly he has said in two days time my husband called me on the phone and i

4:15AM PDT on Apr 13, 2015

Am here not only to testify but also to encourage people in the world facing marital, relationship and financial problem etc about the marvelous works of prophet james I was lost in love with my husband until a lady snatched him away from me with an evil spell. Then I cried out to my bosses wife and she told me about how she faced a similar problem and gave this great mans contact to me and I gave him all the items he needed for the spell and now am happy again living in love with my family.I employ you to contact this man, your story of pain will change within days and you will be smiling like I am today. Once again am grateful sire contact him on his email via

5:02PM PDT on Apr 10, 2015

my name is lady DANI PANRYLON
i never believe there will ever be a solution to my relationship problem with my lover. my lover called terry panrylon threw me out of his house and brought in another lady who he now feels the only best for him. until one day i receive a phone call from a friend in the city that my man is going out on a date with another woman in town, i told her i am also surprise too, because since Jerry has left me he hardly think nor call me. so after some few days my friend called Martha called me and told me that she has found a man that is very powerful, and he is a great herbalist from Africa, truly we all knows that Africans are blessed with so much herbal voodoo powers which they use to help much people, so he told me that the man name is DR KUTI,that she will forward his email address for me so that i can contact him for help, so truly she sent me DR KUTI email address and i contacted him that faithful day. he mailed me after a great while that my man will be back to me if only i believe on his work,
so after 25hrs i receive a phone call from Jerry, and he started begging that i should please forgive him against all he had done to me.. he begged me of breaking my heart and letting the other lady a new heart. he promise me never to let go. now i and Jerry are now planning to get married as soon as possible. we are brought back with the great powerf

7:32AM PDT on Apr 10, 2015

I don't look backward... if there was a breakup, there was a reason for it.

5:02AM PDT on Apr 9, 2015

I am happy to shear my testimony to everyone , sometimes things you don’t believe can just happen. My name is Kate smith I am 34 years old i got married at the age of 27 i have only one child and i was living happily after some years i married my husband behavior became so strange acting weld little wile he packed out to another lady, I love my husband so much that i never dream of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure my husband come back to me but all i could do was nothing, going to different churches day and night i cried seeking for help on till i met a friend (Monica) who told me about Dr anu, who also help her when man in her life left her she told me, Dr anu is a great spiritual man that can be trusted I contacted his email address ( and i told him everything that happen all he said to me i should not worry that all my problems will be solved, that my husband is under a spell. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did he said after some hours my husband will come back to me and start begging, everything Dr anu said happen i was surprised when my husband came back home and beg for forgiveness we are now together as husband and wife smoothly the way it is when we got married and we both live happily one's again thank you Dr anu i so much appreciate.

2:23AM PDT on Apr 8, 2015

Oh God! This article has attracted all the fake, money-grabbing 'psychics' who prey on the desperate.
Moreover - no 'psychic' can reunite you happily with someone who's gone. These stories about how 'X' reunited people are exactly that. - stories. Don't waste your money.

add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

I didn't see any "annoying" cats at all, and only a couple who were truly annoyed.

I don't think it's helping any that they're injecting antibiotics in the animals because of their …

Very cute - thanks for making a good start of my day. I especially liked the cat and dog on the woo…


Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.