How to Repair Your Broken Long Distance Relationship

By Brad Browning for YourTango.com.

If you and your long-distance partner have broken up, things may seem fairly hopeless. You may be running out of ideas, and wondering if it’s even going to be possible to win him or her back and remove that “ex” tag from their status. Granted, in some cases, it may be best to focus on moving on. But there are a few things you can do to increase your odds of rekindling the romance and winning your ex back, even when they live hundreds of miles away.

First off, there’s one very important thing you need to understand: you can’t convince your ex to take you back. I know that you may desperately want to reach out to your ex and tell them how much you still love them, and you may be tempted to beg for another chance, but trust me, there simply aren’t any words that can change your ex’s mind. That’s especially true if they live hundreds of miles away. Relationships and romantic attraction are natural, organic things. However, you can’t make your ex fall back in love with you using words; it has to happen on its own. So, no matter how badly you may want to call and say sorry or tell your ex how much you miss them, that won’t help your cause.

Where to begin the process of getting your long-distance girlfriend/boyfriend back will depend on two things:

1. How long its been since your breakup?
2. How serious was your relationship?

If it’s only been a few days or maybe a couple of weeks since the breakup, the first step is to go through a period of no contact. This means completely ignoring your ex for around a month or so. The point of this is to show your ex that you’re moving on, and that you’re not going to wait around and hope that your ex changes his or her mind, making it appear as though there’s tons of other people eager to take their place at your side.

More from YourTango: Be Happy In Your Long Distance Relationship

During the no contact period — and even after that, once you begin to talk with them again — you should be using social media, mutual friends, and any other means at your disposal to subtly convey messages to your ex. For example, since you want your ex to think your life is great and you’re already recovered from the breakup, you might consider posting some photos of you and some friends (preferably friends of the opposite sex) on Facebook. You may also chat up a mutual friend and casually mention that you’ve been dating a few other people and that you’re really enjoying the single life. Don’t make this attempt to incite jealousy or convey a message to your ex obvious; it needs to be subtle. But it’s definitely important to let your ex know, in an “under the radar” manner, how great your life has been since the breakup, and how quickly you’re moving on.

When it’s time to start talking to your ex again, I recommend beginning with a really fun, positive, and brief message (a text message, social media message, Skype message… even an email is OK). With this first message, keep it really short (no more than a few sentences) and make sure it’s fun, upbeat, and interesting. Don’t try to bring up anything serious, don’t start any drama, and don’t say something dull and meaningless like “hey, what’s up?.”

With this first communication, all you want to do is to get your ex to remember how much fun life was when you were there to talk to them every day, and hopefully get a reply. You may need to send this type of message a few times over the course of a month or so, making sure that you keep the conversations fun and interesting each time.

Depending on how your ex responds, and how things go from there, it will hopefully eventually lead to some curiosity and interest on your ex’s part, and help him or her let go of some negative memories and forget the reasons they decided to break up with you. Try to be “in control” of these conversations (meaning you dictate when they happen, what you talk about, and when they end). Keep it brief, don’t get carried away and try to talk your ex’s ear off.

Once you’ve re-established rapport with your ex, and had a few fun and interesting conversations via text message or online chat, then it’s time for either a Skype call / webcam chat or, ideally, an in-person meeting.

An in-person meeting is definitely preferable to a Skype or Facetime webchat, but if you do arrange to meet your ex in person, it’s crucial that you have legitimate excuse for being in their city. You don’t want your ex to think that you’re simply going to his or her hometown just to meet them. It’s always best to think of a legitimate excuse for being “in the area”, which will allow you to invite your ex out for coffee to “catch up” while you’re in town.

More from YourTango: Long Distance Relationship Advice

Keep your meet short and sweet (whether it’s in person or online via webcam). Make sure you”re friendly, upbeat, and positive about your life. Don’t talk about anything “serious” — talk about the NOW and talk about the FUTURE, nothing else.

You also need to add a little bit of a sexual element to it. No, don’t try and have sex with your ex in the coffee shop — but if the opportunity presents itself, build a bit of sexual tension. This is the time to flirt a lot with your ex. Hold eye contact for a little bit longer. Touch them a lot in a playful, flirtatious way. Talk about sexy things and maybe drop a ‘naughty’ inside joke or innuendo. If they’re being receptive to this, then really push it, but make it seem fun and do it almost in a joking way.

At the end of the day, you need to start building attraction again. After all, this is the essence and the backbone of relationships. So when you’re with your ex again, everything that you do must be focused on creating sexual attraction with him or her. That’s why in-person meetings with your ex will always be a lot better than online chats or phone calls. However you end up talking with your ex, remember that building attraction is the key to getting them to want you back, and you don’t build attraction by talking about the past or bringing up old drama. Attraction develops naturally when you’re having fun and you have good chemistry, so that’s the goal of all encounters with your ex.

More from YourTango: How To Fix A Relationship: 11 Conversation Templates

And finally, keep one very important thing in mind: no long-distance relationship can survive indefinitely; there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel where you and your partner will live together and be together every day. It’s a lot more appealing for your ex to get back together with you if you only live an hour apart. On the other hand, if an ocean and thousands of miles separate the two of you, then your ex probably won’t be eager to start over again, knowing the same issues will continue to plague your relationship.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: How to Repair Your Broken Long-Distance Relationship.

1451 comments

Alena I
Alena I.2 days ago

My husband is back and am so Excited My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now

SEND
Veronica B.
Veronica B.2 days ago

HOW TO GET OVER MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS:LOVE SPELL TO GET BACK YOUR EX BY DR. Zaba WEBSITE: http://zaba24hoursspell.wixsite.com/zabaspell


Hello to you all,i want to use this time to thank Dr. Zaba for what he has done for me last week here ,my names are Isabella Molly Wyatt from Australia,i wanna tell you that me and my husband were together for three years without any trouble nor quarrel, we gave birth to a daughter during this three years and we were good until my husband started having affairs with his co-worker and then him started staying away from home all night and days and he was no longer the man i use to know,him later filed for divorce and ask me and my daughter to go out of his life , at this time i was carrying another child inside of me and now i was so frustrated and was in pains i tried telling him what him was doing was not right , but him wouldn't listen to any body,so i went to my mum house with my child and one day as i was browsing i came a cross a story about this Dr.Zaba how he help a lady called Kimberly and i was touched with the story because it was almost same as mine, so i decided to contact him for help at first i was so so scared because many other spell casters that i have tried earlier took me for fool and went away with my money,but due to the line of the story i read about him and gave him my last try with faith and i told him all that has happened. He assure me that i will see result within two

SEND
Wesly R.
Wesly R.4 days ago

How can I explain this to the world that there is a man called Dr uzoya who helped me bring back my ex lover and restored my womb..when all hope was lost..Me and my lover have been married for the past 5 years with no child we were living happily..on till one day that we have an understanding because i had not be able to have a child for him, so he decided to live me because of another women, i was so sad and frustrated and i could not even eat on till one day i was browsing through the internet where i saw a lady called Jessica testifying about spell caster call Dr uzoya who helped her brought back her husband back home, so i decided to take a try in contacting the spell caster Dr uzoya so i explain all my problem to Dr uzoya and he told me that i should not worry that he is going to help me solve my problem,that my lover will come back home to my greatest surprise in just 24 hours my husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness i was so surprise now we are back again as husband and wife,all my thanks goes to DR,UZOYA, worry no more cause DR,UZOYA is here to help u all,i will do u favor my drooping his email; driraborspellcaster@gmail.com OR his telephone number is +13019098775 https://driraborspellcaste.wixsite.com/spell-caster

SEND
Sarah E
Sarah E5 days ago

I want to share my great testimony to Doctor Ehimen the great spell caster that brought back my Husband within 12 to 16 hours. Am Sarah Ericson from Holland. When i contacted Doctor Ehimen i never thought that this would have been possible but to my greatest surprise after 12 to 16 hours of me contacting Doctor Ehimen, my husband called me and said that he is ready to make up for lost and he wants me to forgive him and accept him back again. Till this moment, am filled with joy and surprise because i never thought that he will come back to me again. I have nothing else to say rather than to thank Doctor Ehimen for his great powers and for making use of it to help those in need. Contact Doctor Ehimen for inquiries and assistance via Email: Doctorehimenspelltemple@hotmail.com OR Website: www.doctorokpamenspells.com

SEND
Laura C
Laura C5 days ago

No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I'm about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Marvel is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much “cajoling,” she (my co-worker) got me to visit email ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn't seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. Dr Marvel is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than TWO DAYS later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You! Contact Dr Oniha VIA email ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM OR ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM.You can also contact him directly on his website http://onihaspelltemple.webs.com

SEND
Laura C
Laura C6 days ago

No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I'm about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Marvel is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much “cajoling,” she (my co-worker) got me to visit email ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn't seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. Dr Marvel is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than TWO DAYS later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You! Contact Dr Oniha VIA email ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM OR ONIHASPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM.You can also contact him directly on his website http://onihaspelltemple.webs.com

SEND
Keyanna L.
Keyanna L.9 days ago

I want to share my testimony to the world. My marriage has been a blessing until few months ago when my life almost get sucked. A strange woman took my husband's love away from me. He left me and our 3 kids to this lady. I was in shocked because i know my husband still loves me. I tried all i could to get him back but the more i tried the more he went far away from me. All my effort yielded nothing. I was almost giving up and wanted to file for a divorce. I lived in pains for 3 good months without any plan of getting out of this mess. Till I met an old school friend who show me to Lord masuka his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com a spell caster who then restore the happiness to my family and my life. His spell worked so fast that I could not even believe it. He's great for as much as I can tell. Am still grateful to him till tomorrow for his spell works. My husband came back with apologies for all the pain he has cost me. You can also contact him on his email for all your relationship or marital problems; lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or call him +2347053105287 You can visit his website http://lordmasukaspelltem.wix.com/lordmasuka or add him on Skype lord masuka or facebook Harry masuka

















SEND
Nikki R
Nikki R.10 days ago

At last my happiness has been restored by a Man called Dr Believe,, my name’s are Mrs Nikki Rose i want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Believe for what he just did for me and my kids. My story goes like this i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched him to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not treating good because my mama got married to another man after the death of my daddy so the man she got married to was not treating i and my kids well so i was so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Believe of authenticspellcast@gmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so i also think of giving it a try at first i was scared by when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and

SEND
Helen S.
Helen S.14 days ago

After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, like of issue of not be able to get pregnant for many years, lotto, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@OUTLOOK.COM you can email

SEND
Michelle W
Michelle W.21 days ago

Hello to you all on this page, am Helena, i want to use this opportunity to share with you all on this page how i was able to get back with my man Jackson, after 2 years of breakup, it all started 2014 when my husband traveled from our city taxas to Florida for work where he met this other lady since then my husband started to treat me like am was nobody until one day he left the house to start living with this other lady, me and our daughter of a year and 2 months then, were left alone, i cried and tried everything possible to plead with he to make he return home, but nothing worked, and i loved my husband so much and i knew he loved me as well, at this time i noticed all was not in it right senses with my husband, i made up my mind not to rest until am able to get my family back on track again, September 23 2015 my friend Darcy from Houston told me about this powerful spell caster, called Dr Gozza of hollygozzasolutiontemple@gmail.com, at whom she claim has helped her and some others with relationship issues,at first i was skeptical about this thing called spell casting, but after thinking for days i said to give it a try because i loved my husband and i want my child to grown up with both parents , i contact this Dr Gozza on his email, and also texted him on the phone, and explained everything that has happened between me and my husband to he , and he told me what to do, i did it all and he told to wait for three days after his

SEND