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How You Can Start Living Your Miracle Life

How You Can Start Living Your Miracle Life

Last week I asked the Miracle Question from Solution-Focused Therapy. The Miracle Question is simply, “If while you slept a miracle occurred tonight that solved all of your problems, how would you know when you woke up in the morning that a miracle occurred? What would be different?” The first step, of course, is answering the question, but if you just stopped there you might be left feeling a bit frustrated. There are generally two reactions to the Miracle Question. Some people are already living their “miracle life,” and by answering the question, they simply reinforce how happy and content they are. Good for them, but what about everyone else?

What if your current reality is completely different from your miracle life? What if by answering the Miracle Question you discover that the life you are living is not at all the life you want? I call this divide between what is and what is wanted the gap. The gap can be painful. It can cause frustration and paralysis . . . or it can spur excitement, fortitude, and action.

So you have a choice to make. Continue living as you have been and hope a miracle occurs that fixes all of your problems and gives you the life you want, or decide that you will be your own miracle? The Miracle Question is just the first step. It’s only designed to get you thinking about what you want to be different. The next step is a crucial one. It’s discovering what you need to do to start living those differences.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say your current reality is that you live alone, work at a job you don’t like, and feel disconnected from your friends and family. But upon waking after a miracle has occurred, you are lying next to the love of your life, driving into a job that you love, and finishing preparations for a dinner party you are hosting at your house that evening.

In this example, the gap between what currently is and what is desired is wide, but is it impossible to bridge? I don’t think so. Coert Visser, a psychologist an expert in Solution-Focused Therapy, recommends asking what parts of the miracle you can already start doing. Could you host a dinner party for your friends and family? What about just calling a friend and taking them out to lunch? Could you start night classes in the other 8 hours to move closer to your dream job? Doing any of these things helps you start — even in a small way — living your miracle.

Maybe that example was too simple. Let’s take this to the extreme. In the aftermath of losing a loved one, the survivor’s miracle is usually that they wake up and their loved one is alive again. This would require a miracle indeed, but if you dig deeper, there might be some small way to start living this miracle. What is missing now that the loved one is gone? Maybe companionship, security, someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a comfortable routine, or a travel partner? What small steps could this person take to start realizing this miracle? How about to spend more time with friends, join a Meetup group, start a book club, participate in a survivor’s group, etc. No change is too small.

One of the founding beliefs in Solution-Focused Therapy is that small changes can lead to big results. It’s the butterfly effect for personal development. A small and seemingly insignificant change can create profound consequences that sometimes defy logical explanation. Jeffrey Guterman, Ph.D., and author of Solution-Focused Counseling writes, “A small change can result in a snowball effect that, in turn, leads to bigger changes and the resolution of bigger problems.” No change is too small.

What is the smallest step you can take today to start living your miracle?

(Midnight_sun_in_ Lapland image by ranahkiCC 2.0)

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Read more: Inspiration, Life, Mental Wellness, Self-Help

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Robert Pagliarini

Robert Pagliarini is obsessed with improvement, making the most of his time and energy, and inspiring others to live life to the fullest by radically changing the way they invest their time and energy. He is the founder of RicherLife.com, a community of passionate people who want to learn and achieve more in life and at work and the co-founder of The Band of Brothers Foundation, a non-profit helping kids around the world.

25 comments

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8:32AM PST on Feb 4, 2013

A bit too demanding. Thx.

1:40PM PDT on May 13, 2012

The world can't have too many positive articles. TY.

10:27PM PDT on May 12, 2012

A very simplistic article, not very helpful.

6:18PM PDT on May 12, 2012

Would you like to take my daughter's autism away overnight? And, with it, my future of caring for her at home well into my eighties, if I live that long? That would be my Miracle Life. Unfortunately, you can't fix everything.

11:42AM PDT on May 12, 2012

thanks - invite friends over

11:32AM PDT on May 12, 2012

Thank you for your positive article. It is good to change lifehabits and
Improve what you've got.
I now change the way I live, in many ways.
Veganism
Environment issues like composting, bicycling, wash-nuts, green energy.
I read books from library about the subjects.
I find internet pages with good information.
I like My new way of living in peace with everything important.
Thank you for your invitation to the commune!
I live in Sweden so it is to far away at the moment.
Love to you from Hanna

11:30AM PDT on May 12, 2012

Thank you for your positive article. It is good to change lifehabits and
Improve what you've got.
I now change the way I live, in many ways.
Veganism
Environment issues like composting, bicycling, wash-nuts, green energy.
I read books from library about the subjects.
I find internet pages with good information.
I like My new way of living in peace with everything important.
Thank you for your invitation to the commune!
I live in Sweden so it is to far away at the moment.
Love to you from Hanna

10:43AM PDT on May 12, 2012

Life itself is a miracle . Living that miracle of life is just a matter of luck/bad luck which sometimes it turned about by just living life itself. I just had a situation where I worked EXTREMELY had to make some action happen...and it didn't no matter how HARD I worked at it .Sure I was disappointed but it seems that the universe had different plans . So , I just thought that MAYBE it was not meant to be . MAYBE .But I let that "desire" go .

10:13AM PDT on May 12, 2012

Do miracles happen? yes. I see them everyday. Here's a miracle for everyone. Look into your childs eyes. Don't you think he or she is your miracle of life?

10:09AM PDT on May 12, 2012

CONT'D: It cut off the rest of my comment! Anyway,in dealing with the Social Security Admn, you can quite easily lose everything you have ever worked for, and more, before they acknowledge tour disability. On the grand scale, acknowledging our country's problems, as David N. addressed, I would have a Miracle Dream of no more corruption and greed. In order to fill the gaping hole that would leave,I would replace it with compassion. On the more realistic scale, I want the healthy body I used to have. I will sacrifice the more athletic pursuits. Just a sound body. Then I want to be part of the solution in restoring an America where we see the commonalities we all share, instead of defining ourselves by perceived differences; the America known for dreams coming true, not being shattered. We all "have a dream." That seems like a good place to start.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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