My heart is wide open, aching just a bit for the woman climbing into a minivan across the parking lot from where I left my car. I didn’t meet her while we were inside, but as I turned the key in my ignition her invisibility catches my eye.
I wonder what happened to her all those years ago? Packing up the best of herself – creavity, passion, and spirit… her most magical parts, she disappeared into the night. Her rounded shoulders pull forward to protect the emptiness in her soul. She longs to feel complete again.
Her feminine simplicity is missing. No liveliness, no certainty, no confidence bubbles from the well I know exists in every one of us. I can only see the weight of the world pulling her eyes to the ground, save a single, lonely scan of the area before closing herself inside.
I see you. I see you and your broken little girl heart trapped in that grown up body. I know that you are trying so hard that it hurts, a lot. I know how you love children, yours and any others who need you to. I know how good you are at your work, how you give it your all. I know how you keep the peace everywhere you go. I know about how you say yes because when you’re helping, it feels like you exist.
I see you.
A long time ago, you packed up all of the beautiful, vulnerable parts of yourself. It was too painful to live in that world as a whole girl, one who thinks and feels. I understand. It was a good idea. It was a brilliant and powerful choice you made, necessary to keep yourself safe.
Now it’s time to do something different… It’s time to be whole again. You can stop trying to fill that emptiness with food or whatever else you use. You can go back for those lost pieces, your magic is still within you. It’s time to reconnect. In this place and this time, it is finally safe for you to be you.